debut piece

dangerdoomdanger

This is my first thread in this forum so cut me some slack.

Please express any ideas, suggestions, opinions that come to mind. Be specific if you can.

Someone suggested me the fade in intro so I did that. I'm currently contemplating reinforcing some sections (particularly 1:03 to 1:28) with more sounds and possibly repeating some sections. I think maybe an outro is in order.

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/102318

I use Reason 3.0

Mayday

Sorry man.
My main bug is the composition: it seems to be basically random "sound layer sandwiches" played in a completely arbitrary order.
Also, while the drums (somewhat repetitive) have some basses indeed, the actual music seems rather flat with no "big picture" pitch variation.

dangerdoomdanger

I see what you're saying.


Oooh. OOOH! That makes me feel insecure.

MagicToaster

Mayday wrote: »

sound layer sandwiches

You can make one of those? Scrumptious! In any case, I hate how the music just drops at the end.

dangerdoomdanger

Yeah. I usually compose the intro and outro after the meat of the sandwich is ready.

I'm also afraid of fucking it all up. Ooooh.

MagicToaster

Dammit, stop teasing me with sandwiches!

Rigor Mortis

Your use of sound is interesting. I like the effects you pull out a lot. And rhythmically, it's pretty good.

But.

There's no harmonic movement though, and I get the sense that this is not because you've chosen harmonic stasis, but because you're unfamiliar with musical theory... A fade in intro or outro wouldn't really have a point except masking this issue. Also, there's no melody for the ear to latch onto, as far as I can tell. Melody doesn't need to be a tune, but the piece would benefit from some obvious/repeated thematic material to give it a structure.

dangerdoomdanger

A valid assesment. I am fairly ignorant of music theory.

Keep in mind the style I'm mimicking isn't supposed to incorporate jazz progressions. I mean I could....


Also.

I dont know how to compose a melody.

So far:
repetetive drums
gimmicky intro (it wasn't my idea I swear)
no melody
no big picture (?)
involuntary harmonic stasis
moldy outro

Uyuh. Are the drum pieces repetitive or the drum rhythms?

Well either way this is thought provocative.

Edit: On a side note, I've gone over the piece to make it seem less arbitrary. This is pretty standard 4\4 fair, mind you. I'm not scholarly in music theory but I can count.

dangerdoomdanger

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/102693

Right direction? If not tell me what's gotta go.

Now you might say

"How is that an improvement?"

Well besides the fact that I fucked up the drums and don't know how to fix it.

It's longer.