WIP - BattGirl!

Aru

This is a WIP I have worked on the last couple of nights, keen to have it ripped apart by you fine gentlemen, please, I am looking for brutalitiy!

On that note:


Cheers!

The LittleMan In The Boat

The bat looks broken, like it doesn't line up. She looks like her shoes are both either right footed or left footed. The pose is too stiff and ridged. Her boobs are too high up into her chest and there are parts of her that just look flat. Just my two cents.

The One Dark Knight

Clothes don't usually work like that unless they're spray painted onto your skin. The contour of the tank top doesn't match the contour of the top of her shorts which makes her torso seem unnecessarily elongated. The pose does look stiff, the weight is strangely distributed. Usually someone holding a bat would hold it further away from their body. Her neck also seems to have disappeared for some reason. Her boobs are also lopsided and they usually spread a little more (I'm glad at least that you didn't draw balloon boobs).

If I were you I'd steer away from the anime style unless you're japanese. You're never going to get it right. Take elements of it, sure, but don't try to copy it exactly.

beavotron

her vagina is too long and lumpy? it almost looks like a small wang to me.
boobs are too close together

really, you just gotta look closer at photo refs of women, i think.

DMAC

beavotron wrote: »

her vagina is too long and lumpy? it almost looks like a small wang to me.

Best. Crit. Ever.

Grifter

beavotron wrote: »

really, you just gotta look closer at photo refs of women, i think.

Translation: Look at more pr0n.

MagicToaster

The One Dark Knight wrote: »

Clothes don't usually work like that unless they're spray painted onto your skin.

Yeah, I was gonna say this exact same thing. Nothing about the clothes seem right, not even the cap... it's like the body has volume, but the clothes are rebelling against it.

Also, crazy long legs. I mean, crazy long.

Aru

Updated, tried painting it so the tights looked more like tights.

Also, made the torso bigger and various smaller fixes.

AgentofOrange

Aside from the insane skin tight pants, the posture is really throwing me off. Listen to beavotron, try drawing real life examples to get an understanding on the basics of how a figure is drawn.
Porn. Yeah, that too. Look at vaginas and porn and boobies.

Inzigna

The second one looks better, at least you've corrected the vaginal problem, but seriously, I believe you need major corrections instead of a few highlights. The shorts are seriously throwing the entire portrait off, it looks passable from a glance (like one of those cheap flash games you see online), but as a picture on its own, it cannot stand on its own two feet.

The One Dark Knight

No matter how much you correct it, you're never going to stop her from looking a lot more than slightly retarded with that pose.

Angel_of_Bacon

The One Dark Knight wrote: »

No matter how much you correct it, you're never going to stop her from looking a lot more than slightly retarded with that pose.

The 'panting like a dog' facial expression doesn't help either- but then, maybe that's the whole idea. If I had to take a guess, however, I'd put my money on him (her?) trying to replicate some generic and abstract anime facial expression, then trying to mess with it for whatever reason (realism???) and resulting in it just being...odd. Go look in a mirror and try to get your face to make that expression- I know I could not manage it without laughing.

Of course, the better procedure is to look in the mirror before drawing something so you don't end up with something that looks weird unintentionally; but, live and learn.



Expanding on what a couple other people have mentioned: It looks to me like you've got a problem of focusing too much on one part at a time and not making sure the proportions of the whole figure are correct, which leads to stuff like an upper body and a lower body that by themselves look ok, but when put together look really off, and having a baseball hat that's apparently the size of a large salad bowl.

To exaggerate the problem a bit, it's kinda like if you were to build a car where every piece comes from a different make and model. They might be great parts, but if they don't fit together and result in a car that actually drives, they're pretty much worthless. Therefore, one must design for the whole- the basic shape, design and function of a piece- before deciding on parts.

Also, the composition is pretty dang dull. Figure, center. Background- ambiguous and without real purpose. Sure it's unfinished, but the point is that from a compositional point of view it doesn't help to break up the space in any sort of interesting way.

I'm guessing that you drew the entire figure before even starting on the background, and this ties into what I was saying about whole versus parts; the figure and background should work together to create interest in the picture as a whole, by being designed together from the get go. Otherwise you are going end up with significant areas of your composition looking and feeling like an afterthought, no matter how much detail you throw in later to try to cover it up. Every element of a picture should feel deliberate and thought out; designed to convince the viewer that every part has a critical role in expressing whatever it is ultimately you are trying to express.