Where the art is done

Raslin

Alright guys, it took a highly paying steady job offer to kick my ass into doing some heavy work, but I've finally started to outputting some work, but I finally have some things to show. Not really sure what I want to do with the lamp, didn't want to make it mainly metallic(Also, the lightbulb is weird from this angle for some reason, I'll look into it). Anyways, would love to get some critiques out of this

paulwind

I'll leave the heavy critiquing to someone who knows more about digital art than I do, but there are a couple things that bother me about the picture. The first is that I'm not sure if the sizes of the objects on the desk seem real to me. The iPod is so small compared to the matchbook and ashtray (it might be one of those newfangled miniature iPods... so maybe this comment is useless). Similarly, the picture on the back left seems so small, and almost hidden in the corner. My only other complaint is that the desk seems overly shiny, and more plastic-y than wood-y, especially in the left front corner, where it's still very polygonal, and has a real FACE to it for the light to bounce off of. Other than that, this is pretty nice.

Jeak

I think that's a cigarette packet, not a matchbook

Heartlash

It's looking good thus far.

I'd add some subdivisions to the front corners of the desk and tweak them to make them a bit smoother. Also the top of the desk feels a bit weird to me from a structural standpoint. I just think that backboard should be a bit higher.

Good stuff though.

Shiboe

Is your desk really that clean? And only one pencil? If not, I would think it would be a lot more interesting to really fill that thing up.

NightDragon

Shiboe wrote: »

Is your desk really that clean? And only one pencil? If not, I would think it would be a lot more interesting to really fill that thing up.

My thoughts exactly...and also, don't line everything up! (like the iPod, cigarettes, pen, paper). It looks like stuff is placed on a grid system. Toss that stuff around! It will look slightly more "desky" and less "modelled", just as a result of the placement of objects alone.

erisian pope

NightDragon wrote: »

My thoughts exactly...and also, don't line everything up! (like the iPod, cigarettes, pen, paper). It looks like stuff is placed on a grid system. Toss that stuff around! It will look slightly more "desky" and less "modelled", just as a result of the placement of objects alone.

I was going to say this, but ND beat me to it. I think it's an important point.

archonwarp

I think it looks good, but as was mentioned, the front left corner has the obvious polygon problem. I think another thing that could contribute to realism is if you added a few more objects of varying reflections. The glossiness of the ashtray is fantastic, and would look even more so if there was a stack of papers and a letter opener to compare it to, for example. As was already pointed out, add some 'sloppiness' too. I also think your books need a little more refining detail, as the pages are all mulled together, giving the edge no texture and making it look odd. The image as a whole is really awesome though. Looking forward to seeing more! Also, wanted to mention that I really like the legs.

Loomdun

...................................................................................

I typed 4 paragraphs of error discriptions and Penny Arcade forums give me a error. Whenever I go to Penny-arcade forums I keep getting these errors why oh why does it boot me and make me lose what I type.

Anyways before it boots me again I'll say it quickly, Shading is out of order all are aiming in different directions or improperly shaded in specific areas and also The top haf of the desk is demensionally wrong with the drawers in a physically Impossible state, the shading sais they are under the drawer which the buttom part is correct. But the top part sais the wood extends out but the drawerer's are past it? I strongly suggest fixing that shading issue right there.

I would say more but odds are PA is about to error boot me again

Raslin

Loomdun wrote: »

...................................................................................

I typed 4 paragraphs of error discriptions and Penny Arcade forums give me a error. Whenever I go to Penny-arcade forums I keep getting these errors why oh why does it boot me and make me lose what I type.

Anyways before it boots me again I'll say it quickly, Shading is out of order all are aiming in different directions or improperly shaded in specific areas and also The top haf of the desk is demensionally wrong with the drawers in a physically Impossible state, the shading sais they are under the drawer which the buttom part is correct. But the top part sais the wood extends out but the drawerer's are past it? I strongly suggest fixing that shading issue right there.

I would say more but odds are PA is about to error boot me again

I... didn't understand any of that. I see nothing wrong with the drawers, maybe you could explain it in better detail?

Death of Rats

I... I don't think he realized that this is a render, not an illustration.

Lemming

This is kind of niggling, but the headphones coming out of the iPod (I'm assuming that's what they are) are a bit too squiggly. Normally wires and stuff won't bend like that, it's straighter overall. It kind of looks like string right now as opposed to wire.

Heartlash

Raslin wrote: »

Loomdun wrote: »

...................................................................................

I typed 4 paragraphs of error discriptions and Penny Arcade forums give me a error. Whenever I go to Penny-arcade forums I keep getting these errors why oh why does it boot me and make me lose what I type.

Anyways before it boots me again I'll say it quickly, Shading is out of order all are aiming in different directions or improperly shaded in specific areas and also The top haf of the desk is demensionally wrong with the drawers in a physically Impossible state, the shading sais they are under the drawer which the buttom part is correct. But the top part sais the wood extends out but the drawerer's are past it? I strongly suggest fixing that shading issue right there.

I would say more but odds are PA is about to error boot me again

I... didn't understand any of that. I see nothing wrong with the drawers, maybe you could explain it in better detail?

It's okay. He wasn't making much sense.

Loomdun

Raslin wrote: »

I... didn't understand any of that. I see nothing wrong with the drawers, maybe you could explain it in better detail?

Sorry I'm just frustrated that the forums kept booting when I was typing so I started to forget what I was saying and started rambling as quickly as possible to get my point across, The drawers seem unnatural in that the top half seem to be jutting out more forward then the buttom half due to the fact that the bar which juts out from the desk giving shade in between where the drawers are, arn't darkened at all on the top so it gives a sense that its pulled out more, But, the buttom half is actually right above the bar which means it is pushed in all the way. Therefore when you stare at it, the drawers give a off feeling as if half of it is pulling out while the other half is not.

After typing the same thing a third time you start losing any interest in even saying anything

In other words the drawers dont feel consistant



I'm sooo lazy to try making legible words... Just.. look at the pointy arrows

Also.. While where on the subject of my strange Drawerer fetish....
Also take note that the drawers are no angled correctly.



Vs



I am not crazy and have no idea what i'm talking about people I just sometimes space out and start typign without thinking once my brain goes numb. SHUTUP MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME BAD THINGS AGAIN URK

So there yah go, now you got two things to fix so that you can feel super special

I... I don't think he realized that this is a render, not an illustration.

Mr. H.G. Blob

The scale seems kind of fucked up to me. That would be an enormous desk if the iPod is that small...

Angel_of_Bacon

Loomdun wrote: »

Also.. While where on the subject of my strange Drawerer fetish....
Also take note that the drawers are no angled correctly.



Vs

AHAHAHAHHAHAAH

A computer program rendering a 3d model in 3 point perspective is not considered by most to be a flaw. Obviously, you have a different opinion.

rts

Well 3d programs are far from perfect.

Shiekahn_boy

Think of were you would sit. Would I tilt certain items tword me?

That's all i can really think of that hasn't been said.

dangerdoomdanger

Mr. H.G. Blob wrote: »

The scale seems kind of fucked up to me. That would be an enormous desk if the iPod is that small...

Maybe the artist is just really really big?

Raslin

Thanks for all the kind words so far. Just to mention, the desk part looking polygonal was fixed before I even posted the render, but I took the render before I fixed it, so its no problem.

I realize the iPod seems small, but look at it relative to the pack of cigarettes. I've actually tested it out, and their scale is right, relative to eachother, and pretty much to most of the other things too. I think the problem will be fixed by shortening the distance from where the person would sit, to the back of the desk(How the hell would someone reach all the way over to the books? Which are massive, btw). I think the drawing threw off my scale of things, as I meant for it to be over-sized, but then started making things relative to the size of a regular paper size.

I need to find a way to break it up as I work on it. I get really bad framerates when I try to edit anything now, with all the seperate materials and everything, though it renders pretty quickly. I'd just do it on my dads machine, which was made with heavy rendering and art work in mind, but he only has modo 203, and I'm using 301(and don't want to go back :P)

Should have an update sometime this weekend

NightDragon

I would think that when a group of people point out the iPod looks too small, it's because it really does look too small. It may be the right size in relation to the pack of cigarettes, but it's incredibly small when compared to the size of the table.

Along those lines, it could be because the pack of cigarettes is too small, as well.

Raslin

NightDragon wrote: »

I would think that when a group of people point out the iPod looks too small, it's because it really does look too small. It may be the right size in relation to the pack of cigarettes, but it's incredibly small when compared to the size of the table.

Along those lines, it could be because the pack of cigarettes is too small, as well.

Which I addressed. I don't think its because they're too small, I think some things are too damned big. I think shrinking the desk size, book size, and perhaps the lamp will help(also, lengthening and de-stringing the headphones).

NightDragon

Raslin wrote: »

I think shrinking the desk size, book size, and perhaps the lamp will help(also, lengthening and de-stringing the headphones).

Right. I agree with you on all of that.

CyberMonkeytron3000

NightDragon