I need stupid, inoffensive computer-related jokes

Steev

I teach a class on Yahoo webmail. One of the things I teach is how to forward messages, and I do this by sending the students a stupid joke for them to forward to each other. Currently I send the same joke each time:

Why do sheep like computers? Because they have a lot of RAM.

Yes, it actually gets laughs. My students are mostly elderly and middle aged people. What I'd like to do is have a few more dumb jokes like this so I'm not sending out the same thing every class.

Any suggestions?

altmann

Why did the floppy disk go to the doctor? Too many bytes! HAHAHAH

Sorry, I just made it up.

YamiNoSenshi

Why do they call them hyperlinks?
Too much Java

bagelpirate

There is the classic "There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don't."

I'd think most computer jokes would be over the head of middle aged yahoo webmail students.

Doc

Why do Computer Scientists confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because OCT31 == DEC25

Taximes

Do general nerdy jokes work? There was a thread on those recently.

Three statisticians go duck hunting. Their dog chases out a duck and it starts to fly. The first statistician aims and takes his shot, it misses a foot too high. The second statistician aims and takes his shot, it misses a foot too low. The third statistician says, "We got him!"

Rend

Have you heard about the Adam and Eve virus? It takes bytes out of your Apple.

embrik

Doc wrote: »

Why do Computer Scientists confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because OCT31 == DEC25

That is awesome.


Should you really be teaching people how to forward lame jokes? That's how they learn to start forwarding chain letters and other related crap.

How about some Windows errors as Haiku?
These made me smile.

Spoit

bagelpirate wrote: »

There is the classic "There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don't."

I'd think most computer jokes would be over the head of middle aged yahoo webmail students.

...and those who start indexing at 0

stigweard

A byte walks into bar and orders a drink. The bar tender pours him a cold one and says, "You alright?"

The byte responds, "Parity error."

The bartender says, "Yeah, you looked a bit off."

DrFrylock

A physicist, an engineer, and a computer scientist were riding in a car. Going down a hill, something went wrong and the car skidded off the road and crashed into a tree. Luckily, nobody was hurt.

The physicist said "we should look at the debris and calculate our velocity at the time of impact, that might tell us when the problem started."

The engineer says "bah, too theoretical. We should take apart the wreckage and try to figure out if there was a mechanical failure that caused us to crash. What do you think, CS guy?"

The computer scientist says "we should push the car up the hill and drive it down to see if it happens again!"

Revolutionary

Try xkcd.com.

It generally covers nerd/computer culture.

ben0207

stigweard wrote: »

A byte walks into bar and orders a drink. The bar tender pours him a cold one and says, "You alright?"

The byte responds, "Parity error."

The bartender says, "Yeah, you looked a bit off."

Not sure if I should laugh or cry.

The Cat

The BadTimes 'virus' is pretty neat, although you might have to wait for 20 minutes for people to read through and figure it out. Mind you, there's always a lot of fun to be had from the ones who think its real, and you can always use their overreaction as a stepping-stone into a talk about how to browse sensibly without a) freaking out at every little thing or b) believing banner ads and taking bullshit chain letters seriously and forwarding them to everyone. I mean, the more people you manage to head away from that path, the better.

falsedef

Why is computer illiteracy so high? Because computers can't read.

Why do vegetarians hate email? Because they keep getting spam.

Why did the processor take aspirin? Because it megahertz.

The Cat wrote: »

The BadTimes 'virus' is pretty neat, although you might have to wait for 20 minutes for people to read through and figure it out. Mind you, there's always a lot of fun to be had from the ones who think its real, and you can always use their overreaction as a stepping-stone into a talk about how to browse sensibly without a) freaking out at every little thing or b) believing banner ads and taking bullshit chain letters seriously and forwarding them to everyone. I mean, the more people you manage to head away from that path, the better.

Sounds like something that can end up getting him fired.

Steev

Thanks for the ideas, everyone. I can definitely use some of them, although some are definitely a bit too advanced for me to use.

I don't think Cat's idea could get me fired, although it probably is too involved for my 1-hour class. It's definitely something I might incorporate into one of my lecture classes.

falsedef

SteevL wrote: »

Thanks for the ideas, everyone. I can definitely use some of them, although some are definitely a bit too advanced for me to use.

I don't think Cat's idea could get me fired, although it probably is too involved for my 1-hour class. It's definitely something I might incorporate into one of my lecture classes.

Oh, I actually clicked the link. I thought it was one of those fake viruses meant to scare people.