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HunterChemist with a heart of AuRegistered Userregular
edited November 2007
Last week one of the fucktards I work with was trying to clear a drain that was all clogged with various bits of food items and other garbage they try to put down there. They don't understand that this isn't their home and there is not fucking garbage disposal thing to chop all of it up.
So Mr. Braintrust dumps some Draino down but didn't have enough, so in his infinite wisdom he proclaims "I'll go get a bottle of concentrated Nitric Acid and pour that down, it's the same thing". Luckily the other guy who is stupid, but knows that dumping random chemicals down a drain might result in very much bad things, gave me a call. I went down and informed the original numbnuts that Draino is a base, and that concentrated nitric acid is (DUR DUR) an acid. Acid-Base reactions are pretty potent, and should not occur in a clogged drain.
He then asked me "then what should I do Mr. Smarty Pants". Yes...he said Smarty Pants. I wanted to hit him with fire, but instead I told him to drive to Home Depot like 2 minutes away and buy more fucking Draino, and to stop being a moron. I'm waiting for HR to call me in for calling a co-worker an unsafe retard, but then again I'm getting downsized anyway and the guy truly is a fucking retard.
The other day we told one of our dumb waitresses that our sister restaurant next door ran out of Freon and that she needed to take them some. So we gave her a big plastic bucket and the lid to it, told her to walk into the fridge and wave the bucket around and then put the lid on it real fast so the Freon doesn't get out. Then we made her run over to the store next door to give it to them.
They called us like 5 minutes later laughing their asses off.
Coworker: You know what i want to do?
Me: shoot
Coworker (staring into the distance heaps intensly with this serious look on his face): Fuck a black chick.
Coworker: You know what i want to do?
Me: shoot
Coworker (staring into the distance heaps intensly with this serious look on his face): Fuck a black chick.
I work doing help desk/PC support for a medium sized company. Mostly a solid set of people, a few gamers. 2 of them are Xbox360 FPS heads (Halo 3/COD4 etc etc) and 1 is a WoW girl. Never really get to play anything with them due to the fact that I don't have a 360 and I loathe MMOs. We played TF2 over steam a couple of times but then Halo3 came out and I lost em. They keep asking me to get a 360 but I think they'll buy PS3's before I buy a 360 (if ever) so I think I can hold out.
MistaCreepy on
PS3: MistaCreepy::Steam: MistaCreepy::360: Dead and I don't feel like paying to fix it.
The other day we told one of our dumb waitresses that our sister restaurant next door ran out of Freon and that she needed to take them some. So we gave her a big plastic bucket and the lid to it, told her to walk into the fridge and wave the bucket around and then put the lid on it real fast so the Freon doesn't get out. Then we made her run over to the store next door to give it to them.
They called us like 5 minutes later laughing their asses off.
One Time, a busboy from the restaurant across the street came into our kitchen saying that he was sent over to borrow a bottle of "Ice mix" because they ran out.
I once told my mum I wanted a left hand screwdriver for my birthday.
Her (being quite sharp) said that I shouldn't need one because I'm right handed.
I responded to her saying that sometimes I'm holding things with my right hand and need to use my left hand to use the screwdriver.
She nodded sagely and admitted she hadn't thought it through.
I should ask for some headlight fluid for christmas.
You dumb motherfucker, you just switch the things you're holding with your right hand to your left hand!
God, some people.
Dead Legend on
diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
0
The Black HunterThe key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple,unimpeachable reason to existRegistered Userregular
edited November 2007
The funny thing is when someone asks you for left handed scissors, and you say you don't have any, then someone bursts out laughing about how stupid you are.
Then the other person says "Uhh, they do exist..."
Man all I'm saying is that it's nice to have an escape. This is true in pretty much everything. Let us meditate upon this as we gaze into the heart of the candle.
Man all I'm saying is that it's nice to have an escape. This is true in pretty much everything. Let us meditate upon this as we gaze into the heart of the candle.
Finished up the production of a show. It's always a mxture of relief of getting away from a work and sadness from saying goodbye to the people. In the past 24 hours, these people have sent me about 30 emails saying what a great time they had and inviting me as friends on Facebook. You'd think from the way they are acting that we were never going to see each other again (most of us are in the Opera starting in two weeks or have classes together).
And, my word, somebody needs to make a Facebook App that lets you block other facebook app invitiations from your friends. I don't really need to know how my Chinese Zodiac is causing my card game skills to ruin my love life while travelling abroad with your favorite Disney character.
Finished up the production of a show. It's always a mxture of relief of getting away from a work and sadness from saying goodbye to the people. In the past 24 hours, these people have sent me about 30 emails saying what a great time they had and inviting me as friends on Facebook. You'd think from the way they are acting that we were never going to see each other again (most of us are in the Opera starting in two weeks or have classes together).
And, my word, somebody needs to make a Facebook App that lets you block other facebook app invitiations from your friends. I don't really need to know how my Chinese Zodiac is causing my card game skills to ruin my love life while travelling abroad with your favorite Disney character.
I remember the time Viv had an affair with a coworker and ended up getting in a lot of trouble because of it.
Moral of the story? Don't masturbate while at work.
Well, not where people can see you, in any case.
Vixx on
0
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited November 2007
I worked in a soup kitchen once with a retarded guy. He was pretty cool. He would make jokes a lot and was all around a real nice guy. When we ran out of soup, he got particularly excited, because then we'd serve chef-boy-ar-dee (we got to eat whatever soup was not handed out that day).
Munkus Beaver on
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
Posts
So Mr. Braintrust dumps some Draino down but didn't have enough, so in his infinite wisdom he proclaims "I'll go get a bottle of concentrated Nitric Acid and pour that down, it's the same thing". Luckily the other guy who is stupid, but knows that dumping random chemicals down a drain might result in very much bad things, gave me a call. I went down and informed the original numbnuts that Draino is a base, and that concentrated nitric acid is (DUR DUR) an acid. Acid-Base reactions are pretty potent, and should not occur in a clogged drain.
He then asked me "then what should I do Mr. Smarty Pants". Yes...he said Smarty Pants. I wanted to hit him with fire, but instead I told him to drive to Home Depot like 2 minutes away and buy more fucking Draino, and to stop being a moron. I'm waiting for HR to call me in for calling a co-worker an unsafe retard, but then again I'm getting downsized anyway and the guy truly is a fucking retard.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
They called us like 5 minutes later laughing their asses off.
What I'm trying to say if I love my job so much.
Me: shoot
Coworker (staring into the distance heaps intensly with this serious look on his face): Fuck a black chick.
One Time, a busboy from the restaurant across the street came into our kitchen saying that he was sent over to borrow a bottle of "Ice mix" because they ran out.
Actually one of my coworkers masturbated in the walk-in cooler of the restaurant where I worked. I guess he was bored or something?
Her (being quite sharp) said that I shouldn't need one because I'm right handed.
I responded to her saying that sometimes I'm holding things with my right hand and need to use my left hand to use the screwdriver.
She nodded sagely and admitted she hadn't thought it through.
I should ask for some headlight fluid for christmas.
Satans..... hints.....
You dumb motherfucker, you just switch the things you're holding with your right hand to your left hand!
God, some people.
Then the other person says "Uhh, they do exist..."
etc.
I find that these women are generally good to avoid. See, if that goes badly, which it likely will eventually, SHE STILL WORKS THERE WITH YOU.
All in all, she quit and joined the Air Force.
And I got a raise.
looking into candles makes me think of
And, my word, somebody needs to make a Facebook App that lets you block other facebook app invitiations from your friends. I don't really need to know how my Chinese Zodiac is causing my card game skills to ruin my love life while travelling abroad with your favorite Disney character.
also, you are a vampire.
one of my coworkers wanted to know how to spell Rammenstein
i replied with
rquvexqvqvymnhthswpqv
and he was writing it all down
finally i couldn't hold my laughter in anymore
i wish i could have so i could see how much he would write down
soon
soon I will
I'll be all like
hey se what's up I arrested 38 people today and shot a dude in the leg
your sex appeal would double instantly
Well, she shopped for dildos. I stood there with an awkward look on my face.
man
awesome?
we'll see
boooooooooooooooooooooooo
:x
as he sinks into the tar
cough
cough
sob
mommy!
cough
mommy!!!
sob
cough
cough
sob
mommy don't cry
I think I'd rather bang a hot chick and have work be a bit awkward than to never get any.
The wild and crazy life of a claims adjuster.
Yeeeeeeeeeaah.
Moral of the story? Don't masturbate while at work.
Well, not where people can see you, in any case.