Trouble...DOWN THERE.

fakey_mcgee

This is an alternative account, as there's some people here that know me and this is kind of embarrasing.

I recently started going out with this girl. Everything is going pretty well, except when it comes down to intimacy. She's decided to wait on the whole sex thing, which is fine with me. We still manage to do stuff(pretty much everything EXCEPT sex) and while i have manage to get her off, she's never been able to do the same for me.

It's happen before, and it's really frustrating. I mean, it almost feels like there's this block in my mind that stops me. And the wrose part is that the mroe I think about it, the worse it gets, to the point were I'm not even hard anymore.

help?

wunderbar

Relax, and stop worrying about it. The more you worry, the worse it will get.

Tell her how you like it, give her tips/pointers. It sounds weird, but it can help. Each person reacts differently to different things, and she just may be doing something that doesn't "work" for you. Don't be embarrased to talk about it with her.

However, again, I cannot stress enough, that you need to relax and stop worrying about it. If you spend the whole time thinking about trying to get off, instead of just enjoying it, it won't happen.

Gihgehls

The same advice can apply to her as well. If she is focusing solely on getting you off she might just be trying to hard and not really moving at your pace.

Infinity Minus One

Or it's possible it's just not enough for you. Might have to just go all the way. Besides, who do you guys think you're really kidding? Yourselves?

Trowizilla

You're stressing out too much, and stress is like the anti-orgasm for both sexes. Next time you guys are fooling around, go into it with the attitude that you don't care if you get off. After all, you can get yourself off, right? Orgasms are not a scarce commodity. However, getting someone you like to touch you in a pleasurable way, that's special. Just enjoy the sensations, make out, show her what feels best, take breaks for snacks (take this in a dirty and a non-dirty way), etc. Have fun without the pressure of "oh god why can't I come" hanging over you. If you really want to get off at the end of all this, take matters into your own hand and let her watch. Hot for her, you get off, AND you get more accustomed to getting off pressure-free in her presence.

TrippyDK

The question is, do you masturbate by yourself? Because if you do fairly frequently, you get used to how you do it, and it messes with you when someone else does it.

hank94jp

TrippyDK wrote: »

The question is, do you masturbate by yourself? Because if you do fairly frequently, you get used to how you do it, and it messes with you when someone else does it.

I wouldn't say that necessarily. Obviously you're going to be better than she is at it, so it won't be exactly how you "like it". But I don't think that should really "mess" with you to the point where you can't maintain an erection.

The problem is exactly what you think it is. You're thinking about it too hard. Even though it's hard advice to follow, try just relaxing and not worrying when you start getting intimate. Just let things happen and don't let your mind wander off and start worrying. Like what trowizilla said, you should avoid stress at all costs. Just flow with it.

Crashtard

TrippyDK wrote: »

The question is, do you masturbate by yourself? Because if you do fairly frequently, you get used to how you do it, and it messes with you when someone else does it.

Limed for truth. Stop touching yourself at home

Also. Wait's to have "sex" but will do other things? What's the difference morally? (i.e. why does she want to wait for sex but still do other things? Doesn't make sense to me.)

jotate

My first g/f and I did the "everything but sex" thing for a long while. The idea is to get off, have fun, and share an intimacy. None of which is exclusive to intercourse, so it's not a big deal. We did it because of the sheer risk associated with condoms breaking and pregnancy. We ended up giving in eventually and just doing it. It was fun, but not any more/less than what we had been doing. Just different.

I'd guess the same is the situation for the OP.

To the OP: 69, my friend. Nothing gets your mind off you getting off than focusing on her getting off.

noobert

jotate wrote: »

To the OP: 69, my friend. Nothing gets your mind off you getting off than focusing on her getting off.

Lime'd for personal truth.

I always find it much more enjoyable if i play with her while she plays with me. The moans and squirms etc get me off just as much as everything else. You may be the same!

Dulcius_ex_asperis

Have you talked to her about it?