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depression
soshi367
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Okay guys so i posted the whole ex story thing and its gotten worse. i took your advice and stopped calling her however she called me and we got into an hour long fight about how she loves this new guy and why cant i accept that and be her friend. This conversation(2 days ago) has driven me into a depression; i dont eat that much, i just go to work then school then home. I tend to think about her frequently as my job gives me time to think. i know you guys gave the meet new people and read new books advice but now the break up coupled with the depression is creeping in and its going to drive me crazy. How do i prevent this? maybe a new job is in order?(im 21 btw and she'll be 19 dec 13th)
soshi367 on
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I wrote that, then read your original thread and I still think it all stands, you're what? 18, you went out with her since you were 16? She "loves" another guy within a week? End it, don't call her or think about her. You two obviously had nothing. Stop wasting your time worrying about some female and go eat food.
Take a long while with out her in your life in anyway, but make sure that she really does realise that you are doing this so that you can be her friend down the road (doesn't matter if this is true, as it will make her more likely to respect your wishes).
2 Months at least.
So here's the thing no one ever told me. You are going to be fighting, for the rest of your life, anyway. Fighting tooth and nail, for scraps of nothing. Competing till your dying breath for worthlessness. If this girl is worth all that much to you then you should give it your all. To quote Lance Armstrong in Dodgeball "Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever. "
Give it your all. Don't do anything evil but every little drop of hope, faith, and confidence you have in you and any you can fake should be put against this if you want to win her back.
Or just quit. I wouldn't suggest quitting. Unless she has already slept with the other guy. In which case you can do either, IMO, move on or sing her a song. Either or. But if she HAS slept with the other guy you need to have more hope for someone else. Not your fault if you move on.
If you are going to be fighting all your life, anyway, you might as well be fighting for something you love.
Hang out with some friends, do something ridiculous and immature, some guy stuff.
Something that will allow you a rush and fun.
This is super dramatic advice that doesn't even make sense. What was all that crap about scraps of nothing?
GIVE IT YOUR ALL! oh wait she has slept with another guy that's a deal breaker...what?
You need to cut contact and take some time to lick your wounds.
Dude. She broke up with you to be with another guy. She does not get to dictate what happens to whatever remains of a relationship with you. She does not get to berate you for not "accepting" her dumping you on her time frame. She does not get to push a phony friendship on you so she can feel okay about what she did.
It seems you cannot handle being friends with her. I can completely understand that. She just dumped you for the new guy. She's not evil for doing that. People move on. But it is rather bitchy to treat you how she has been.
Tell her you do not want to be friends, at least for the time being. Tell her that she does not get a say in the matter. Tell her that you do not want to hear from her again unless you call her. Tell her there are no exceptions to what you just said.
You are not her pet. You are not her toy. She does not get to force a friendship on you. Why? It's not friendship. She wants to keep a string tied to your heart so that she can come back if the new guy doesn't work out. I'm not saying that's true in every instance of ex's staying friends. But given her behavior since you broke up, it is pretty clear this is what is happening.
tl;dr Tell her to fuck right off and don't you dare start talking to her again until you can do so without getting emotionally cluster fucked. (I say this with much love. Tough love!)
:-)
I would feel depressed too if I learned that the things I cared most about were so easily stolen from me. But any way I don't keep my heart her on earth. Not safe, dontcha know.
My advice: don't listen to this guy. This advice is obviously a result of watching one too many romantic comedies.
Do what everyone else is saying. Cut off all contact, have a life, find someone new and forget all about her. It doesn't take long.
He sounds like a fucking moron to me.
It makes no sense whatsoever trying to win the affections of someone who isn't even with you anymore.
TWITTER TWATS
You shouldn't encourage people being "hung up" on girls they met in high school. You're seriously delusional if you really think that the female gender has nothing to offer you other than a girl who just happened to grow up in the same town, go to the same school, went to the same class as you. You're 21 and you've devoted a lot of your life to an immature relationship (we can tell it's immature because neither of you could tell when it was over: she hung on to you while having much stronger feelings for another guy, you still don't think it's over). Most guys have been in the same situation. You're not alone in getting duped by passion. It might take a while to realize this and you might be pretty bummed until you do but you really need to learn to depend on yourself. Love is great, but you won't find true love until you find yourself.