I don't think the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is an author
He wrote a lot of books about organic food. :V
Wait so the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is Brian Jacques?
(I'm making a joke right there)
(about how Brian Jacques spends pages describing food.)
(Seriously, every novel had to have at least one feast scene, like the moneyshot in a porno. It was in his contract)
Tossrock on
0
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
I've never actually read them. I was too busy reading R.A. Salvatore and not realizing how bad he is.
Oh man, Salvatore is so bad.
But you don't underSTAND. There's this Drow, right, and he's like this elf but black, but he's good, and he has two swords, bro. Two swords!
And there's this guy with a hammer, and this surly dwarf and his adopted human daughter and this big piece of magic glass they chase around and shit and there's magic and the drow has a ghost-kitty for a pet.
I've never actually read them. I was too busy reading R.A. Salvatore and not realizing how bad he is.
Oh man, Salvatore is so bad.
But you don't underSTAND. There's this Drow, right, and he's like this elf but black, but he's good, and he has two swords, bro. Two swords!
And there's this guy with a hammer, and this surly dwarf and his adopted human daughter and this big piece of magic glass they chase around and shit and there's magic and the drow has a ghost-kitty for a pet.
And, for the more adult readers (read: You got older at about the same rate as he released books, funny thing, that) there is now the ever present bait of drow-on-feisty-daughter-cake
I've never actually read them. I was too busy reading R.A. Salvatore and not realizing how bad he is.
Also, James Patterson and Dean Koontz and Stephen King.
And the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar.
Read them, they're really good. They're really short, so you should be able to finish one in only a couple hours.
I loved Redwall up until mid-elementary school, but I'm not so sure I'd advise someone to read them now. I mean, they're good children's books, but they're pretty clearly children's books. Unless Metzger Meister was lying in his profile and is actually about 8, he probably won't fall in love.
I've never actually read them. I was too busy reading R.A. Salvatore and not realizing how bad he is.
Oh man, Salvatore is so bad.
But you don't underSTAND. There's this Drow, right, and he's like this elf but black, but he's good, and he has two swords, bro. Two swords!
And there's this guy with a hammer, and this surly dwarf and his adopted human daughter and this big piece of magic glass they chase around and shit and there's magic and the drow has a ghost-kitty for a pet.
And, for the more adult readers (read: You got older at about the same rate as he released books, funny thing, that) there is now the ever present bait of drow-on-feisty-daughter-cake
Oh my yes.... Seriously though, he's so fucking terrible. It's like he took as many cliche fantasy titles as he good, ground them into a paste, and then gave himself an enema, and then by some dark power made that shit-paste of digested awful flow out onto blank paper.
I loved Redwall up until mid-elementary school, but I'm not so sure I'd advise someone to read them now. I mean, they're good children's books, but they're pretty clearly children's books. Unless Metzger Meister was lying in his profile and is actually about 8, he probably won't fall in love.
Sort of like how The Hobbit is a kid's book, but adults can enjoy it as well. Certain works intended for children are well-written enough that an adult can read them too.
I've never actually read them. I was too busy reading R.A. Salvatore and not realizing how bad he is.
Oh man, Salvatore is so bad.
But you don't underSTAND. There's this Drow, right, and he's like this elf but black, but he's good, and he has two swords, bro. Two swords!
And there's this guy with a hammer, and this surly dwarf and his adopted human daughter and this big piece of magic glass they chase around and shit and there's magic and the drow has a ghost-kitty for a pet.
I had this friend in high school, always trying to get me to read the Icewind Dale trilogy
"It's so awesome!" He'd say. "Drizzt takes his swords and does a flip or something and totally murders this guy!"
I've never actually read them. I was too busy reading R.A. Salvatore and not realizing how bad he is.
Oh man, Salvatore is so bad.
But you don't underSTAND. There's this Drow, right, and he's like this elf but black, but he's good, and he has two swords, bro. Two swords!
And there's this guy with a hammer, and this surly dwarf and his adopted human daughter and this big piece of magic glass they chase around and shit and there's magic and the drow has a ghost-kitty for a pet.
And, for the more adult readers (read: You got older at about the same rate as he released books, funny thing, that) there is now the ever present bait of drow-on-feisty-daughter-cake
Oh my yes.... Seriously though, he's so fucking terrible. It's like he took as many cliche fantasy titles as he good, ground them into a paste, and then gave himself an enema, and then by some dark power made that shit-paste of digested awful flow out onto blank paper.
Man, I read the original Dragonlance trilogy again a couple months ago. I had read it years ago, when I was young and stupid.
HOLY SHIT
They were more terrible than I could have ever imagined. It was basically like the background storyline of a D&D session that through some ungodly power mutated into a series of novels.
EDIT:
Even worse is that I loved them when I first read them.
Man, I read the original Dragonlance trilogy again a couple months ago. I had read it years ago, when I was young and stupid.
HOLY SHIT
They were more terrible than I could have ever imagined. It was basically like the background storyline of a D&D session that through some ungodly power mutated into a series of novels.
EDIT:
Even worse is that I loved them when I first read them.
Even when I read them as a kid, it was pretty damn obvious that they were just a transcribed D&D session.
My name is Janin, and I have read Black Sun Rising. I'm...I'm so ashamed.
Does the Recluse series count as shitty? They seemed good to me, but lots of Modesitt's other books are so terrible (Spellsong Saga HAHAHAHAHA) that it's got me wondering whether I just can't see the brown.
Janin on
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
0
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited November 2007
... Um... I... also read A Series of Unfortunate Events in junior high, because the girl I liked read them and I wanted something to talk to her about.
Metzger Meister on
0
Tossrocktoo weird to livetoo rare to dieRegistered Userregular
edited November 2007
Not only did I read Animorphs, I read Everworld and Remnants
... Um... I... also read A Series of Unfortunate Events in junior high, because the girl I liked read them and I wanted something to talk to her about.
Was anybody a member of the Official Redwall fanclub? I remember when I was and I'd get these awesome holiday cards with the moles and hares sitting by fires and stuff
QuestionMarkMan on
0
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
... Um... I... also read A Series of Unfortunate Events in junior high, because the girl I liked read them and I wanted something to talk to her about.
... Um... I... also read A Series of Unfortunate Events in junior high, because the girl I liked read them and I wanted something to talk to her about.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Turns out we had something even better in common.
Wanting to make out with ladies.
post of the night.
Charles Kinbote on
0
Tossrocktoo weird to livetoo rare to dieRegistered Userregular
... Um... I... also read A Series of Unfortunate Events in junior high, because the girl I liked read them and I wanted something to talk to her about.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Turns out we had something even better in common.
Wanting to make out with ladies.
Ohhhh boy you done fucked up
I feel bad for you
I mean I had my own highschool travails
but lesbian?
Ouch
Tossrock on
0
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
... Um... I... also read A Series of Unfortunate Events in junior high, because the girl I liked read them and I wanted something to talk to her about.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Turns out we had something even better in common.
Wanting to make out with ladies.
Ohhhh boy you done fucked up
I feel bad for you
I mean I had my own highschool travails
but lesbian?
Ouch
We were pretty good friends until I moved. Lost touch with her... which is an ironic sort of phrase.
Oh man, my favorite Redwall book is The Bellmaker. Finbarr Galedeep with his two sabres was the best badass in any of the books.
You mean Drizzt?
anyway, I got two books signed by Jaques, The Legend of Luke and Ghosts of the Flying Dutchmen or whatever. He's a great public speaker, but I felt kind of weird getting my books signed by him. I was all "hi i love you books my favorite is the outcast of redwall please take a picture with me" and he was all "grunt kay." I was third in line too.
He told this one joke that I still remember. "So, I have this little dog named Teddy. Now, Teddy is a wee little puppy, small enough I can hold him in my hand. I like to take Teddy on short walks around the neighborhood, and one time while I was walking I met this young woman and her baby. All while we were talking, her baby kept staring at my dog, so I picked Teddy up and said 'Yes, isn't Teddy cute? Do you want to pet Teddy?' Then the kid looks at me like I'm stupid, and says 'Not a Teddy, Doggy!'"
Taggerung was kinda disappointing to me, and Loamhedge honestly was pretty damn boring. But I think it picked up again with Rakkety Tam (how fucking badass was he?) and High Rhulain was cool, mostly cause I liked the villain
Posts
Wait so the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar is Brian Jacques?
(I'm making a joke right there)
(about how Brian Jacques spends pages describing food.)
(Seriously, every novel had to have at least one feast scene, like the moneyshot in a porno. It was in his contract)
But you don't underSTAND. There's this Drow, right, and he's like this elf but black, but he's good, and he has two swords, bro. Two swords!
And there's this guy with a hammer, and this surly dwarf and his adopted human daughter and this big piece of magic glass they chase around and shit and there's magic and the drow has a ghost-kitty for a pet.
And, for the more adult readers (read: You got older at about the same rate as he released books, funny thing, that) there is now the ever present bait of drow-on-feisty-daughter-cake
I loved Redwall up until mid-elementary school, but I'm not so sure I'd advise someone to read them now. I mean, they're good children's books, but they're pretty clearly children's books. Unless Metzger Meister was lying in his profile and is actually about 8, he probably won't fall in love.
Oh my yes.... Seriously though, he's so fucking terrible. It's like he took as many cliche fantasy titles as he good, ground them into a paste, and then gave himself an enema, and then by some dark power made that shit-paste of digested awful flow out onto blank paper.
Sort of like how The Hobbit is a kid's book, but adults can enjoy it as well. Certain works intended for children are well-written enough that an adult can read them too.
I had this friend in high school, always trying to get me to read the Icewind Dale trilogy
"It's so awesome!" He'd say. "Drizzt takes his swords and does a flip or something and totally murders this guy!"
Ok, you know that scene in Goodwill Hunting?
I'm Robin Williams
shhh
it's not your fault
it's not your fault
HOLY SHIT
They were more terrible than I could have ever imagined. It was basically like the background storyline of a D&D session that through some ungodly power mutated into a series of novels.
EDIT:
Even worse is that I loved them when I first read them.
You are a good boy.
I just wanted to read a good fantasy book!
And I liked them. God help me did I like those books.
Even when I read them as a kid, it was pretty damn obvious that they were just a transcribed D&D session.
It's alright, I liked them too.
This is like an AA meeting, just for shitty fantasy.
Does the Recluse series count as shitty? They seemed good to me, but lots of Modesitt's other books are so terrible (Spellsong Saga HAHAHAHAHA) that it's got me wondering whether I just can't see the brown.
Although I didn't finish the Remanants series
I have that much
I also read the Elminster series by Ed Greenwood, which I actually enjoyed.
The first one, at least.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Was anybody a member of the Official Redwall fanclub? I remember when I was and I'd get these awesome holiday cards with the moles and hares sitting by fires and stuff
Turns out we had something even better in common.
post of the night.
Ohhhh boy you done fucked up
I feel bad for you
I mean I had my own highschool travails
but lesbian?
Ouch
We were pretty good friends until I moved. Lost touch with her... which is an ironic sort of phrase.
You mean Drizzt?
anyway, I got two books signed by Jaques, The Legend of Luke and Ghosts of the Flying Dutchmen or whatever. He's a great public speaker, but I felt kind of weird getting my books signed by him. I was all "hi i love you books my favorite is the outcast of redwall please take a picture with me" and he was all "grunt kay." I was third in line too.
He told this one joke that I still remember. "So, I have this little dog named Teddy. Now, Teddy is a wee little puppy, small enough I can hold him in my hand. I like to take Teddy on short walks around the neighborhood, and one time while I was walking I met this young woman and her baby. All while we were talking, her baby kept staring at my dog, so I picked Teddy up and said 'Yes, isn't Teddy cute? Do you want to pet Teddy?' Then the kid looks at me like I'm stupid, and says 'Not a Teddy, Doggy!'"
I got to get all up on that
Taggerung was kinda disappointing to me, and Loamhedge honestly was pretty damn boring. But I think it picked up again with Rakkety Tam (how fucking badass was he?) and High Rhulain was cool, mostly cause I liked the villain
ASMODEUS
Orlando the Axe was following the Fox.
i was like 9 and it was the most epic goddamn thing i'd ever read at that point
I'd be a hare for sure. But otters kicked ass too. And they had so much fun doing it.
but i ain't no furry, boy, how 'bout you?
yiff yiff
Hey fuck you man it's just a hypothetical
Seriously furries creep me the fuck out
they just don't want to be