Monologue

Tarantio

So, the audition for next semester's musical (One Touch of Venus) is next week. I have a song, but I need a monologue to do, and I don't really know where to look.

Some background: I'm 21, male, I've been in leading roles in musicals before, plus a few one-act plays and such. I'm not a theater major at all, don't take any theater classes, and I really haven't auditioned for many things before. I auditioned in high school, but they didn't require us to find a monologue, and I've made it into a few things just by being a guy who could sing when somebody else dropped out.

I'm basically just looking for a good comedic monologue that won't be done by a dozen other guys at the audition, and that can be had quickly. I think it's supposed to be 1 to 2 minutes long.

Ideas?

Improvolone

This is a college production? Alot of colleges have strict rules for casting students who aren't a theatre major OR minor. You know, seeing how they use these experience to learn and everything...

With that said I advise you to not audition. If you still want to, ask yourself why and then consider what your major/minor is, and why.
It sounds like you enjoy singing. Awesome. Go join an acapella group, or a barber shop group, or any group.

Tarantio

This is a college production, and no, they don't have rules about who gets cast. Last year, one of the leading roles was played by a faculty member (this was probably because there weren't many black women that auditioned, but still)

It's also not so large a program that they won't need guys for whatever chorus they have. Hell, I didn't audition for this semester's main stage production (As You Like It) and the director specifically asked me to the day of auditions, even though I hadn't prepared a monologue.

I'm a physics major, with a music minor and a math minor. I'm also in the chorale, and the auditioned choir, and I'm going to a barbershop competition in Texas in January with some friends.

I mean, thanks for the advice, but I'm pretty sure that I do want to audition, and it's not an uncommon thing here for non-majors to do so.

Jerm

I don't know much about monologues, but I do know that when my friends did them in high school speech, they were small sections cut out of scripts, plays, etc (for instance, my brother adapted a monologue from Adaptation. Can you do that (would you be willing to?)

Tarantio

Yeah, that's pretty much what I want to do. I'd even do something not from a play- my girlfriend (who is a theater major) suggested I try to find something in a book, so I'm looking around while I'm at home.

SniperGuy

I did this one once

Hi, I'm just writing a letter to someone in the hospital. You know it's always kinda hard to find the right words to say. You know, somehow "How's the weather in the hospital? Sure is nice outside" just doesn't work. But you gotta try, you know, you gotta show your concern. So here's what I got so far: "Dear Guy, I clotheslined as you went by on your bicycle. You don't know me, but I'm the guy who broke your collarbone. Now, I've asked myself over and over, why did I clothesline that guy? Perhaps I watched too much slapstick as a kid and expected you to get up after being violently assaulted. Imagine my confusion when you did not. Although not so confused that I'd actually hang around. In all fairness, it was pretty funny. I mean, the last thing you'd expect as you were riding merrily by on your bike is that someone you didn't know at all would stick out his arm and crush your throat. I mean, you really should've seen it, it was just like, wham! Bam!
[chuckles]
Anyway... in closing, as you lay there convalescing in your hospital bed, I'm forced to wonder, what were you doing riding your bike on the sidewalk anyway? Huh, ya asshole? SideWALK? Maybe sometimes we bring heartache upon ourselves. Signed, the guy that collapsed your trachea."

Tis from the Kids in the Hall. Got a good laugh.

And Improvolone, that's terrible advice. "Guys, I want to do this, how can I do it better?" "Nah, just don't do it."

Go for it Tarantio. Plays, especially musicals, are a ton of fun regardless of your major.

Improvolone

I don't think it's terrible advice at all to suggest that he allow for people who want to do this professionaly to have the chance to do it during college. You know, where they learn. This is part of their learning experience. To me, it's the same as signing up for a small advanced calc class as a theatre major, taking the spot of someone who needs it to graduate and I'm just doing it because gee I like math.

As far as having faculty in productions, okay, well, I don't know how to say this other than duh. Not only are older actors often needed, but also having the chance to work with very talented and experienced performers is worth your time.

If you are certain that you want to do this, either have your girlfriend give you a play, or as she said, go get a book. Stop by your local library, your schools library, or any bookstore and buy a book of monolouges. I still advise against this in general, but if this school often has non theatre students in productions, that a whole other issue.

Tarantio

I really do understand what you're saying, Improvalone. It's an odd system we seem to have here, and I wouldn't want to prevent the guys in the theater department from having a learning experience- hell, I'm friends with most of them. They still need guys who can sing and act, and I've already told the musical director that I'd be auditioning. It's not unlikely that I'll just get a part in the chorus, that's what happened last year.

Oh, and the faculty member playing a lead wasn't part of the theater faculty- I think she works in advisement. She didn't have much acting experience, and her character was married to a character played by a freshman- there was certainly nothing indicating the character was elderly. This is in addition to the fact that there was another lead in that play who was a bio major.

I guess it doesn't justify stealing a part, if you look at it that way, but I'm already committed by now, and I want it to be a good production, as it's the first one under the musical direction of a professor I like a great deal.

Thanks for the example, Sniperguy, that one would probably be great if I decide to go with it. I've been looking through some books I have laying around- mainly Neal Gaiman stuff, although I'm considering Cookies, by Douglas Adams. The main problem with that one is that it should really be done with an accent, which doesn't fit the play at all. And I should be able to borrow some books of actual plays once I get back. (and actually have time to look at it once my one act closes tonight)

Thanks for the help.

KalTorak

Getting rejected for a role b/c someone more suited to it got it instead is a pretty damn big part of the theatrical "learning experience," Improvolone. If the theatre program only wanted the parts to go to theatre kids, they'd do it that way. If Tarantio is the best guy for the role, then (from what the program sounds like) he should get it.

Improvolone

You get better with practice. These shows are their practice.
Some schools only cast the best person for the role, which really sucks for alot of students who never get a chance. But look, my issues with this have clearly been resolved given the way the school handles these shows and his past experience with them.

Curious, what school?

Raere

I like this one. My friend did it for this year's high school musical. It evokes emotion if you can get the tone right.

Tarantio

It's Ramapo College, a NJ state school. The dorms are great, but the food sucks.