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It's kinda complicated (Read:Kinda Girl Thread)
KetBra
Dressed RidiculouslyRegistered User regular
Dressed RidiculouslyRegistered User regular
So, I'm currently in a Long Distance Relationship with a girl. We'll call her Sue. She lives far enough away that we can only see each other once every few months. She used to live where I do, but had to move away for a variety of reasons. I'm not looking for relationship advice, here, what the issue is, is that she has a couple good mutual friends where I live that don't like the fact that she's dating. Not that she's dating me, that she's dating anyone. Both have been involved to one extent or another with her in the past, and with the one, it's definitely an issue of jealousy, but he seems to be okay with it. The other one...he gets very angry with her, demeans her constantly when they talk about me, basically telling her that she's unfit to make decisions for herself, etc..
Now, she wants to stay friends with these two, as they're two of her best friends. She gets really worked up about this, especially the latter one, who really rips into her, essentially calling her worthless. I really have no clue how to help her other than be supportive...if anyone has any insight, that would be great.
Now, she wants to stay friends with these two, as they're two of her best friends. She gets really worked up about this, especially the latter one, who really rips into her, essentially calling her worthless. I really have no clue how to help her other than be supportive...if anyone has any insight, that would be great.
KetBra on
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They are not her friends. They are waiting for their turn to be her boyfriend.
I don't know why young women (and young men) have such a hard time with this concept.
Men and women can be friends, but they need clear boundaries for it to stay that way.
If she doesn't believe this have her do this simple test. Have her tell her friends that you two are breaking up and see what their reaction is.
I don't see where the complicated part is. She hangs out with two guys who are total dicks to her. The solution is for her to hang out with people who are actually her friends.
Agreed/Echo.
This isn't an issue of complexity. Friends change and friends betray, unfortunately. These people are no longer her friends. What they might once have been, they are no longer. She needs to know this.
This.
People will probably disagree, but I always been in the opinion that if a guy is friends with a girl, then there's a good chance that he is waiting out his time and trying to become more.
And I mean, as long as the girl knows that and isn't going to cheat with them, that's fine. But when they start pulling this shit is when it goes to far. If your gf still hangs around them, then she really can't complain. I mean, how hard is it not to talk to someone that's treating you like shit?
I would think it prudent to require more evidence than that. Like outward displays of jealousy over actual boyfriends and shit. I mean sure it's fair to say that if a guy is friends with a girl he probably likes her, but you really need more information than that to start talking about how much or in what way he likes her.
I've been that guy enough times in the past to say this is it for sure.
(I'm not proud that i am that guy)