My phone rang last night
"Hello?"
"Hi Jordyn, sweetie. It's Mary."
"..."
"Your dad's girlfriend."
"oh uh ok."
I see my dad about once every 5 years. Now his girlfriend his calling me? What in the fuck. She starts getting all weepy and shit and my immediate thought "ah fuck, my dad didn't die or some shit, did he? I can't go to some funeral and pretend to be sad."
No, apparently my dad's mom died. Sometimes referred to as a grandma. I didn't really know her either though so whatever.
Mary wants me to talk to my dad on the phone, like what do I say? Gosh dad, sorry that lady I guess I was related to but didn't know at all died. She puts him on the line and he says a bunch of stuff including "it's nice to hear your voice" which kinda pissed me off, and a bunch of other stuff pissed me off.
But before Mary handed him the phone she said "I love you."
I LOVE YOU. This lady I never talk to, who I have met a total of maybe 3 times had just decided to say "I love you" to me, expressing, among others things, the fact that she knows absolutely nothing about me and is stupid.
I replied
"uhng"
How have you improperly replied to things?
Posts
he would be ashamed
Fram's working on the divorce paperwork already.
edit: hi5 Fallout
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
"Hello?"
"Hi Shibby, sweetie. It's Mary."
"..."
"Your dad's girlfriend."
"oh uh ok."
I see my dad about once every 5 years. Now his girlfriend his calling me? What in the fuck. She starts getting all weepy and shit and my immediate thought "ah fuck, my dad didn't die or some shit, did he? I can't go to some funeral and pretend to be sad."
No, apparently my dad's mom died. Sometimes referred to as a grandma. I didn't really know her either though so whatever.
Mary wants me to talk to my dad on the phone, like what do I say? Gosh dad, sorry that lady I guess I was related to but didn't know at all died. She puts him on the line and he says a bunch of stuff including "it's nice to hear your voice" which kinda pissed me off, and a bunch of other stuff pissed me off.
But before Mary handed him the phone she said "I love you."
I LOVE YOU. This lady I never talk to, who I have met a total of maybe 3 times had just decided to say "I love you" to me, expressing, among others things, the fact that she knows absolutely nothing about me and is stupid.
I replied
"uhng"
Thats how I did it
And I was all like, "SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE!"
And I started headbanging around him.
No, wait.
That was the proper response.
lucky break, eh?
I stuttered for a second and came up with "cunt...butt..."
and then I turned around
You'd be surprised to find how many times "You sold me queer giraffes" is applicable in everyday conversation
Man you are like
so metal
Also, umm, my bbcode was messed up one time, i guess.
Doc: "Well, what sorts of things, sky diving, mountain climbing, etc?"
CancerDad: "Well...I've never fucked a midget."
During his memorial service a week or two ago the minister began talking about 'Living life to the fullest, etc.' and CancerDad's wife whispered to their daughter (my roommate's girlfriend) 'This is the midget speech' and she burst out laughing.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
ahahahhaa
We tried so hard to find a female midget who would dress up in a nurses outfit for when he became bedridden. Midgets are harder to find that you'd think.
Improper reply
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
I said yes.
I do this.
"Do you have any Wiis?"
"Nope."
"oh...."
"No problem."
"Uh....thanks"
take luck
good luck taking the luck that you may have
I noticed, that among many self-help and motivational books that the husband had, were two books dealing with custody battles. That boss-lady was always showing pictures of their little baby.
Later that week, when ms. boss-lady came and sat on my desk and told me that she just wanted everyone to know she was going through a tough time and that she was beginning the process of divorce and she just hoped everyone would understand, I giggled.
I didn't mean too, it just came out.
you monster
'You too...uh...if you see a movie anytime soon...'
you're dumb
it's funny. she seemed to have much the same reaction.
That was a lie.
Her crotch-bulge disgusted me.
I didn't say it to one customer and because he was an ass he said, "thank you for waiting". To make me feel bad for not saying it to him.
I just said "no problem" and finished serving him.
HTTP 404 USER IS USELESS
Learn to type, you n00b.
old woman, with massive tennis-ball sized cancer: oh that's good?
[she looks at her loving husband, who has visited her every day in hospital and brought her good food and read to her and things. her husband smiles back, it's really touching.]
doctor: yes, that's normal.
my thoughts: [god i feel awkward just standing here like i've been doing for the last five minutes. better say something.]
cancer woman: so i'm not dying then!
me, jovially: yet!
doctor, old woman, old man all staring at me: D :<
Like when I say I'm going to go eat, and someone says "Have a nice dinner." I just respond with "You too!"
(not the exact quote, 5 e$ for anyone who can find or remember the quote)
EDIT: Oh, I was beatd.