I first met Podly in a little border town just inside Mexico opposite West Texas. He was fucking bears for spare change at that point. Something about his girlish frame and pretty eyes made the growling beasts tender with him. The locals would watch and occasionally pelt him with their worthless local currency, especially if he pulled off an uncommonly acrobatic position. It was all very quaint and authentic.
I remember when Po(dl/ld)y once vomited some prose up in the chat thread. He actually used "izquierdic" to refer to someone's left hand. No shit.
The entire piece was such a massive wad of pseudo-intellectual, self-consciously pretentious tripe that it collapsed into a singularity and devoured half the chat thread. I think more than a few forumers were sucked, screaming, across the event horizon that day. The official story is that they were later banned, but a few of us recall the truth. Pi, Wiild57, HarryB... I can only hope that there's an end to your suffering in sight, and that someday you will cease to swirl around the suffocating vortex as fifty cent words tear through your ears like Podly through the discount vest section at Nordstrom Rack.
Podly, I extend my obeisance in the general direction of your esteemed personage.
Wow, even when I use a thesaurus to replace every word in a sentence with a snootier-yet-less-suitable one, I still fall leagues short of capturing your essence. Truly, yours is a rare gift.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Wow, even when I use a thesaurus to replace every word in a sentence with a snootier-yet-less-suitable one, I still fall leagues short of capturing your essence. Truly, yours is a rare gift.
Indeed, Podly's ability to suck dick while still remaining exceptionally pretentious and articulate is no small feat.
Hacksaw on
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Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
edited December 2007
Podly is beloved by this forum because he represents the fat dork who goes off to college and becomes a skinny dork who dresses like a downmarket pimp and talks about Joyce too much. From a literary perspective, it's kind of a minor step up from waking up one morning to find that you're a cockroach.
Or maybe this: it's a quintessential 21st century bildingsromans. The Trials Of Young Podly: The Journey of a Tubby Dork to an Academically Disreputable Overpriced Lib-Arts School Located In a Slum But Really It's Okay Because He gets Laid by a Green-Card Seeker.
Irond Will on
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Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
You guys are being too harsh. Podly is just fumbling his way through the adolescence of pretension. He is already in possession of a firmly rooted sense of superiority and wholesale dismissal of all things in which he does not think himself an expert. Eventually, though, he might develop out of this awkward caterpillar phase and learn to couch his condescension in honeyed words that will make people marvel at his intellect rather than want to punch him for being a snob.
It really is a magnificent quote. And I'm sure that it was 100% in earnest.
Well, I think you're at your most earnest when you're drunk. I'm sure many people agree with the essence of what Podly was saying, but most people have enough sense to not say anything that corny unless they've been hitting the sauce.
IreneDAdler on
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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HachfaceNot the Minister Farrakhan you're thinking ofDammit, Shepard!Registered Userregular
Nothing I say will do the Podster justice. The only thing I can do is to provide some excerpts of a story he wrote.
It was absolutely magical. Having just finished, after the ineffable hours of work required to input every modicum of possible data, James leaned back in his opaque plastic office chair. A grin of moral superiority, seen on ministers who have convinced a child that masturbation is wrong or men of letters who have proven their theory to be true, a grin similar to the venerated "I told you so" smirk, inched its way slowly across his face. This was followed by a warm, staccato hum resonating a tone less pleased than victoriously disinterested. With three quick raps of his izquierdic digits, he finished his unwatched gloating and propelled himself from the chair by swinging his legs off the table to the floor, allowing the momentum to carry his torso along.
....
This, of course, is not to say that James was a fan of the basics. He combined a strange love of minimalism in architecture with a lust of encyclopedic knowledge. Had James been particularly skilled in a certain area, yr. narrator has no doubt that he would be at the top of his field. Perhaps there would even be a cure for cancer. (Isn't that the purpose of medicine?) But alas, a full purse and empty stomach never inspire one to take up a job or craft, leading instead to a desire to become cultured. Nor does yr. faithful narrator wish to imply that James lacked work ethic. The son and heir of nothing in particular except free time and abstract worth, James was never pushed to anything in particular, though he was pushed. Money, after all, was not time. His first foreign language was algebra, his second Greek. He could recite Hector's funeral oratorio by age nine. At twelve, he reconstructed Watson and Crick's DNA molecules with Lincoln Logs and Pogs. (It was later featured at PS1 under the title Logs And Pogs) By fifteen, his paper on binary and tertiary influences on the development of the Germanic sonata was all the rage of those common practicing. Baby Mozart indeed.
James, however, had a very different view of satisfaction than most people. He would study something ferociously until he came to some point at which he would simply stop. There was never a set goal or any specific reason. He was like a homeless man in the world of knowledge: not belonging anywhere, he was free to wander as he pleased, but never had any reason to stay in one place for long. When something held is attention, he pursued it, at times almost conquering a subject, until the source of inspiration, like unstable timed faucets, shut off.
I rest my case.
Elki on
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MrMisterJesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered Userregular
Only three pages of roasting Poldy? I know it's like shooting fish in a barrel and some may view it as not being a challenge, but we need to roast the fucker more than three lousy pages.
Only three pages of roasting Poldy? I know it's like shooting fish in a barrel and some may view it as not being a challenge, but we need to roast the fucker more than three lousy pages.
Personally I think the wall of pretention the young lad built around himself has created a situation where everyone is eager as hell to harp on him, but afraid at the same time that if they joke about his arcane interests they'll get something wrong.
I mean where to start with Joyce -- he's Irish, he's a chore to read, and fuck if it means anything.
but
wait
what if it actually does mean something and I'll look dumb for mocking Poldy for that?
Only three pages of roasting Poldy? I know it's like shooting fish in a barrel and some may view it as not being a challenge, but we need to roast the fucker more than three lousy pages.
Personally I think the wall of pretention the young lad built around himself has created a situation where everyone is eager as hell to harp on him, but afraid at the same time that if they joke about his arcane interests they'll get something wrong.
I mean where to start with Joyce -- he's Irish, he's a chore to read, and fuck if it means anything.
but
wait
what if it actually does mean something and I'll look dumb for mocking Poldy for that?
Honestly, if you do get something wrong, I doubt Poldy would notice. For all his pompous ramblings, I doubt he knows much more about the subjects than we do. I know for a fact that his command of Greek is atrocious. In fact, I have it on good authority that he's the real reason behind the Trojan war. He tried to say "Screw the bitch! Let's party!" and instead said "Destroy Troy! I like my mother's anus!"
Honestly, if you do get something wrong, I doubt Poldy would notice. For all his pompous ramblings, I doubt he knows much more about the subjects than we do. I know for a fact that his command of Greek is atrocious. In fact, I have it on good authority that he's the real reason behind the Trojan war. He tried to say "Screw the bitch! Let's party!" and instead said "Destroy Troy! I like my mother's anus!"
That's what I'm saying.
I think young Poldy has grasped onto the strategy of my younger days, wherein I would claim to have read large, boring books, proudly proclaim they are good, and know that no one else has really read them, and/or if they had, all they want to say about it themselves is "it's good" because the shit was waaaay the fuck too boring to actually create any kind of cohesive sense or meaning out of it (with the bonus of the title Infinite Jest playing perfectly into this little joke of mine).
"Infinite Jest? Yeah, I read it. It was good. Oh you haven't? You should, you'd really like it. Great book. Yeah, I read a lot."
I never made those same fashion mistakes, though -- I mean jesus.
And as we know, every white man derives pleasure from watching a black man suffer -- it's simply genetics -- which makes me think we might finally have an explanation for why Poldy has chosen to wear those outfits in that region of New York.
Bronx, meet plaid. Everywhere. With some stripes and pastels, too.
If anyone has any better explanations, they're free to put them forth.
I hear he buys his hair from anemic British 8 year old boys. And once he's gathered it all atop his head, he prances about the room dressed up like Little Lord Fauntleroy.
Posts
I'm no fashion maven, but I've never seen a polo shirt that looks like that.
Doesn't keep it from looking hideous, though.
I don't really think I need to post anything other than that.
His innate ability to instantly dismiss an erection (and not just his own)
AND
He's the only man in internet history to successfully pull of a Paul Lynde avatar.
Poldy, I salute you with a highball, and a reach-around- should the situation ever arise.
I mean, c'mon now.
The entire piece was such a massive wad of pseudo-intellectual, self-consciously pretentious tripe that it collapsed into a singularity and devoured half the chat thread. I think more than a few forumers were sucked, screaming, across the event horizon that day. The official story is that they were later banned, but a few of us recall the truth. Pi, Wiild57, HarryB... I can only hope that there's an end to your suffering in sight, and that someday you will cease to swirl around the suffocating vortex as fifty cent words tear through your ears like Podly through the discount vest section at Nordstrom Rack.
Podly, I extend my obeisance in the general direction of your esteemed personage.
Wow, even when I use a thesaurus to replace every word in a sentence with a snootier-yet-less-suitable one, I still fall leagues short of capturing your essence. Truly, yours is a rare gift.
Or maybe this: it's a quintessential 21st century bildingsromans. The Trials Of Young Podly: The Journey of a Tubby Dork to an Academically Disreputable Overpriced Lib-Arts School Located In a Slum But Really It's Okay Because He gets Laid by a Green-Card Seeker.
Well shit how are you supposed to win bar fights against people who have voodoo skills?
I think it's a pajama top. His girlfriend made him take off the Babar one before they went out.
Haha, was he drunk when he wrote that?
If by "Joyce", you mean "cooking sherry", then yes.
Well, I think you're at your most earnest when you're drunk. I'm sure many people agree with the essence of what Podly was saying, but most people have enough sense to not say anything that corny unless they've been hitting the sauce.
I rest my case.
really now.
I was a fan of victoriously disinterested.
Someone who's not a mod.
I got him to post the whole thing in exchange for a chat thread.
What the fuck.
Podly's worse than cryptic Christian poetry. I bet that fucker speaks in footnotes.
I mean where to start with Joyce -- he's Irish, he's a chore to read, and fuck if it means anything.
but
wait
what if it actually does mean something and I'll look dumb for mocking Poldy for that?
I'm guessing this is where many are stuck.
Honestly, if you do get something wrong, I doubt Poldy would notice. For all his pompous ramblings, I doubt he knows much more about the subjects than we do. I know for a fact that his command of Greek is atrocious. In fact, I have it on good authority that he's the real reason behind the Trojan war. He tried to say "Screw the bitch! Let's party!" and instead said "Destroy Troy! I like my mother's anus!"
I think young Poldy has grasped onto the strategy of my younger days, wherein I would claim to have read large, boring books, proudly proclaim they are good, and know that no one else has really read them, and/or if they had, all they want to say about it themselves is "it's good" because the shit was waaaay the fuck too boring to actually create any kind of cohesive sense or meaning out of it (with the bonus of the title Infinite Jest playing perfectly into this little joke of mine).
"Infinite Jest? Yeah, I read it. It was good. Oh you haven't? You should, you'd really like it. Great book. Yeah, I read a lot."
I never made those same fashion mistakes, though -- I mean jesus.
Bronx, meet plaid. Everywhere. With some stripes and pastels, too.
If anyone has any better explanations, they're free to put them forth.
His mother still dresses him?
OR
He's gay?
OR
He's gay and his mother dresses him?
OR
He's really, really gay?