The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Damaged Goods
Kazhiim
__BANNED USERS regular
__BANNED USERS regular
So, my brother is dating a stripper.
She was raped by both of her parents as a child, and had a rape-baby from her father at 14. Now she's 20, and has been living in my brother's room at my parents' house for the past three months.
I've only been home from college a total of maybe three weeks in that time, and she's destroying this family. She demands absolute control over my brother- if he isn't at work, he's in the room caring for her. She has alienated him from friends and family; all his friends supposedly made advances towards her, so he's all but abandoned them. I haven't been able to hang out with him, because that's time she thinks he'd be wasting. Despite this, she still yells at him for not spending enough time with her. She demands he change: and yet, she always complains about the things he provides for her. She wastes the food that my mother generously cooks for her; three days ago, she threw away an entire plate of spaghetti because the sauce was too runny. She calls my brother an idiot for hoping to get a job at the airport. She says he shouldn't have any confidence that he'll get what he wants. She takes showers and baths at 3 AM, when my dad needs to work and my sister needs to go to school that day. She's stolen from my dad's liquor cabinet, and threatened to commit suicide dozens of times. She quit her job because "people were hitting on her." People were hitting on a stripper.
My brother has tried to reason with her. I don't know why he loves her. I don't think he loves her. I'm in the room next to theirs, and I can always hear what they're arguing about. He's always talking calmly and reasonably, and she's always yelling at him. He takes his anger out on the family; for several weeks, my sister and mother feared for their own physical safety around him. They've kicked him out once, a few weeks ago. He had 22 dollars to his name, and begged to be let back in. My parents gave in after he promised that they'd only be here for a week, and then she'd move in with people she knew. Those people didn't want to deal with her, so my brother conned my dad into letting them stay a few weeks more. She wants my brother to either buy her an apartment, or pay for her to live in a hotel. And yet, the continue to live on our money, in this house, eating our food. My father is too old to remove them by force.
My brother believes she is pregnant. Last night, she said she was miscarrying, and my brother took her to the ER three times despite what doctors told him each time. She has no insurance, and he only works part time. I think the fear of a child is the only thing that ties my brother to her.
She was raped by both of her parents as a child, and had a rape-baby from her father at 14. Now she's 20, and has been living in my brother's room at my parents' house for the past three months.
I've only been home from college a total of maybe three weeks in that time, and she's destroying this family. She demands absolute control over my brother- if he isn't at work, he's in the room caring for her. She has alienated him from friends and family; all his friends supposedly made advances towards her, so he's all but abandoned them. I haven't been able to hang out with him, because that's time she thinks he'd be wasting. Despite this, she still yells at him for not spending enough time with her. She demands he change: and yet, she always complains about the things he provides for her. She wastes the food that my mother generously cooks for her; three days ago, she threw away an entire plate of spaghetti because the sauce was too runny. She calls my brother an idiot for hoping to get a job at the airport. She says he shouldn't have any confidence that he'll get what he wants. She takes showers and baths at 3 AM, when my dad needs to work and my sister needs to go to school that day. She's stolen from my dad's liquor cabinet, and threatened to commit suicide dozens of times. She quit her job because "people were hitting on her." People were hitting on a stripper.
My brother has tried to reason with her. I don't know why he loves her. I don't think he loves her. I'm in the room next to theirs, and I can always hear what they're arguing about. He's always talking calmly and reasonably, and she's always yelling at him. He takes his anger out on the family; for several weeks, my sister and mother feared for their own physical safety around him. They've kicked him out once, a few weeks ago. He had 22 dollars to his name, and begged to be let back in. My parents gave in after he promised that they'd only be here for a week, and then she'd move in with people she knew. Those people didn't want to deal with her, so my brother conned my dad into letting them stay a few weeks more. She wants my brother to either buy her an apartment, or pay for her to live in a hotel. And yet, the continue to live on our money, in this house, eating our food. My father is too old to remove them by force.
My brother believes she is pregnant. Last night, she said she was miscarrying, and my brother took her to the ER three times despite what doctors told him each time. She has no insurance, and he only works part time. I think the fear of a child is the only thing that ties my brother to her.
Kazhiim on
0
Posts
Harder answer is slap your brother till he fucking realizes what's up.
...stripper girlfriends?
this is exactly the sort of situation where my advice is, in fact, to murder a human being.
dr. phil i ain't.
this is one of those "I'm posting this because I needed to get it off my chest" moments
none of my friends are on AIM right now and I just learned about the goddamn miscarriage
Wii Friend Code: 0072 4984 2399 2126
PSN ID : Theidar
Facebook
Behold the annhilation of the extraterrestrial and the rise of the machines.
Hail Satan!
WISHLIST
I don't!
Hell, half that shit could be made up!
It's not beneath people like that to make their pasts more tragic than they really are to garner sympathy.
basically kaz i ain't got shit for real advice for you
since my advice is basically to kill the bitch
i mean, holy shit.
she obviously should be kicked out, and not let back in ever
I did when I first learned about the bad shit, too.
And then a few days passed and I saw that she uses her past as an excuse. She controls my brother, does terrible things to him and this family, and then cries and pulls a Uriel when anybody asks her why she isn't doing anything about it. My parents are too compassionate to throw a crying, supposedly suicidal mess out on her ass. I wish they weren't.
As in several years of intensive therapy.
Well if she's lying, then I retract my sympathy and recommend the slightly less extreme leave her in the desert solution.
Wii Friend Code: 0072 4984 2399 2126
PSN ID : Theidar
Facebook
Behold the annhilation of the extraterrestrial and the rise of the machines.
Hail Satan!
WISHLIST
He thought she was pregnant
She says she's miscarried
He takes her to three different ERs and they all say she's not pregnant?
or what?
huh?
Give your mom a high-five.
Then tell her to call the cops and have the chick committed.
alright see
this is where i say something and people say i am a bad person for saying it
and that thing is
people should never be unconditionally loved or tolerated
there should always be an upper limit to compassion
there should always be an edge beyond which you just won't put up with a person anymore
it doesn't matter who this person is, or what their situation is
there should always be a line
She claims she's pregnant. Last night, she starts bleeding (a woman bleeding out of her vagina, truely a cause for concern) and tells my brother she's miscarrying. However, at the ER, she doesn't let the doctors confirm that she's pregnant.
Honestly, committing her may be the best solution, especially if she's threatening to kill herself. Although, she's probably lying and doing it to get attention.
Wii Friend Code: 0072 4984 2399 2126
PSN ID : Theidar
Facebook
Behold the annhilation of the extraterrestrial and the rise of the machines.
Hail Satan!
WISHLIST
I do pity the girl for having such a messed up background, but that's no excuse to ruin other people's lives. It's pretty clear that she needs to go. There really is no alternative that will not result in someone becoming totally miserable.
If he's worried about a child, he should consider adoption. It doesn't sound like they're really ready to raise a family, and the woman doesn't sound like she'd make much of a mother.
okay listen
i am not a psychologist or nothin'
but, as is well-known i do have this condition
fun thing about this condition? i can usually recognize other people who have it
and this whole situation sounds a lot to me like a textbook case
you should have the chick bounced to a mental hospital
Now your brother, probably swimming with syphilis right now.
can I make it any more obvious
I feel this way about her, but not about my brother.
My brother has been a "mild" fuck-up throughout his life. He dropped outta high school, but went to an alternative school and was getting his shit together, training to be a fireman, etc. before he met her. And the way he's tried to deal with her, I know he really wants all the bullshit to end. But, if we kick her out, we kick him out.
Wow.
That's a mix of both desperately needing therapy, and being a desperate attention whore.
that just means your brother hasn't reached that limit yet, which is fine
but your brother also needs to man the fuck up
unconditional love is, to quote ted kennedy, "wicked retarded"
sometimes you need to realize the person you love is a horrible person and needs to be put into an institution before she continues to destroy the lives of others and accept that.
True.
Is she one of the only GFs he's ever had? Maybe he's confusing attraction for affection, and needs to realize that there are other girls out there. Girls who are not completely batshit crazy.
if he can't get her out of his life you need to get both of them out of yours
I know it's not that easy though
with the right environment, self-discipline, and possibly medication they can live entirely normal lives with positive relationships with others and be happy
it just takes work
and as a lot sociopaths are pretty lazy fuckers
I mean, I understand that she had a hard life but no excuse for her to act this way.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Wii Friend Code: 0072 4984 2399 2126
PSN ID : Theidar
Facebook
Behold the annhilation of the extraterrestrial and the rise of the machines.
Hail Satan!
WISHLIST
He's had a couple girlfriends before, but they've always been a little off. His first girlfriend stalked him for upwards of a year after they broke up, and almost convinced our current landlord that we were a very, very fucked up family when we moved onto the same street as her.
My brother is a good person. His girlfriend isn't. But she's putting so much stress on him that he's becoming a bad person and my family is suffering from it and my father is at the age where he very well could die from this sort of stress (plus the other goddamn burdens he's had to carry over the past months) and my little sister shouldn't be living in this environment and I just want to fucking kill the bitch