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Two girls are in love with me, and I am left very unhappy.
Ginzue
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Well, this is a problem that has been going on for over a month now.
Girl A: Dated her all summer, had a great time, spent every day togeather. We once we both moved to a new city I was occupied with college, her with work, even though we only live 5 blocks away. She loves me and I love her.
Girl B: Lives in the room above mine with a good friend of mine in my Dorm. We started fooling around a month ago, and I have developed feelings for her. She loves me, and I love her.
Simple enough right? Well, they both passionatly love me... and I can't seem to find the large feelings of love anymore in my body. I feel numb. Girl A is wonderful, but I just don't feel the same about her as I used to, for reasons I cant understand. There is really no reason I shouldn't feel the same about her. Girl B is in a sense, the rebound to a girl I haven't committed to leaving. Girl A is a strong and dark rebel, fierce and passionate and sweet, Girl B is a beautiful girl who is bubbly and always cheery, but not as deep as Girl A. I'm so fucking split. I am happy hanging out with both, A is rough around the edges and can drive me insane, but the strife almost makes the times of happiness more rewarding, with Girl B there are never problems, but it all seems like a high school romance with it being easy and happy but not all there.
I need to make a decision about who I will end up with. I love them both, but I can't find in my heart to leave one. I don't know what to do. I want to feel love again, and I am divided completely on both. No matter what I will break a heart by the end of winter break. How the hell do I find love in my heart again? Ever since this whole situation started I have felt sick every day, so has Girl A, Girl B does not know about my split feelings, Girl A does.
I'm so lost, I really need some advice here. Every day is hell for me. I need to find a solution, so if you can, may you lend me some advice? Thank you.
TL : DR
Two girls are very much so in love with me. I am divided about who I will commit to, and even worse I can't seem to feel the feelings of caring and love that I used to be able to. I need advice.
Girl A: Dated her all summer, had a great time, spent every day togeather. We once we both moved to a new city I was occupied with college, her with work, even though we only live 5 blocks away. She loves me and I love her.
Girl B: Lives in the room above mine with a good friend of mine in my Dorm. We started fooling around a month ago, and I have developed feelings for her. She loves me, and I love her.
Simple enough right? Well, they both passionatly love me... and I can't seem to find the large feelings of love anymore in my body. I feel numb. Girl A is wonderful, but I just don't feel the same about her as I used to, for reasons I cant understand. There is really no reason I shouldn't feel the same about her. Girl B is in a sense, the rebound to a girl I haven't committed to leaving. Girl A is a strong and dark rebel, fierce and passionate and sweet, Girl B is a beautiful girl who is bubbly and always cheery, but not as deep as Girl A. I'm so fucking split. I am happy hanging out with both, A is rough around the edges and can drive me insane, but the strife almost makes the times of happiness more rewarding, with Girl B there are never problems, but it all seems like a high school romance with it being easy and happy but not all there.
I need to make a decision about who I will end up with. I love them both, but I can't find in my heart to leave one. I don't know what to do. I want to feel love again, and I am divided completely on both. No matter what I will break a heart by the end of winter break. How the hell do I find love in my heart again? Ever since this whole situation started I have felt sick every day, so has Girl A, Girl B does not know about my split feelings, Girl A does.
I'm so lost, I really need some advice here. Every day is hell for me. I need to find a solution, so if you can, may you lend me some advice? Thank you.
TL : DR
Two girls are very much so in love with me. I am divided about who I will commit to, and even worse I can't seem to feel the feelings of caring and love that I used to be able to. I need advice.
Ginzue!
Ginzue on
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That or Girl A.
I don't blame you for feeling apathetic. Too much emotional turmoil will do that to anyone. Your brain gets overloaded and pretty much just shuts off your feelings for a bit. Just hang out, re-connect with friends (not girl A or B or anyone too connected with them), play games, read books, and take it easy. The answer will come in time (although it may not be a choice between A or B but something entirely new. This is a good thing!)
I mean, it's an important way to approach it. Are you asking this because you want to be in a long term relationship? Or do you want to simply not deal with drama, but don't really care if things fall apart in a year because you'll just find someone else (aka you don't really like either of them in *that* way).
If you're simply diggin' them both because they're fun to hang out with and occasionally have sex with, you can be explicit and say "i really like you but I want you to know I'm not in a place where I can commit to a serious relationship." If you're actually past that point, and are only seeing girl B, then I think you've naturally moved on from A. And if you're simply using B to fill in for A, then again it's pretty obvious what you should do.
I think you're actually scared of making the wrong choice and not having anyone at the end of the day. And really, the longer you string both of them along, the longer the humiliation becomes, and the greater chance that you get caught in this scenario and are unable to end it on your terms.
Fact is you strayed from someone without giving the benefit of allowing them to do the same thing (date other people). The fact is, you're not likely to be spending any longterm time w/ these ladies, so you need to make a decision on who can continue to be fun in the immediate future.
Man, melodramatic much? I find it hard to believe that there's any actual love involved in the situation from any of the parties. Girl A may be able to make a claim on it, but probably not since things have apparently fallen off a bit since the summer even though you're just a few blocks from each other. Even though you're both busy, if there was actual love involved you'd both find the time somewhere. If you actually loved Girl A, you wouldn't be fooling around with Girl B, either. And if you loved Girl B you would have broken it off with Girl A. Again, this isn't love, it is having a good time and each girl is acting as back up for the other girl in case something happens.
Also, you're a jackass. You're stringing Girl A along and are even rubbing her nose in it by her knowing about Girl B and not making a decision. All the while you get to lament that you want to feel love again and find love in your heart. But you're not the tortured soul you want to be, you're just a guy that's playing with the emotions of Girl A while getting his jollies with Girl B.
My real advice is to break it off cleanly with both of them. You don't know what you want, but it sure isn't either of these girls or you would have picked one or the other. All they're doing for you is giving an ego boost because you have two women that are so madly in "love" with you.
Oh snap, I totally didn't see that part. Yea - Girl A either isn't "in love" (she no doubt has feelings for you), or has something herself on the side, or feels that you all are just "dating" so whatever, or has one of the most shot sense of self on her block.
This. Couldn't have said it better myself.
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Agreed.
I have a feeling Girl B's just there to fulfill a more superficial want of yours. And Girl A is taking pain for it, unless she's got another lover of some sort you don't know about (which I hope is the case).
Stop being an emo fucker and choose one of them. Or take a break from both and use that break to clear your head a little. Tortured soul... puh.
You should do the right thing and marry her.
So be very careful my friend.
I'm assuming neither one know of each other. Just talk to both of them, and tell them you have had a change of heart. Do not tell them you've been seeing someone else... They don't need to hear that.
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All the bashing in this thread aside, if you were reading someone else's post about how they fall in love twice with just a month's notice... would you believe them?
My advice, break clean with girl A and fuck girl B, but also let girl B know that you are just fucking her.
I can totally understand wanting to have someone instead of nothing, but neither of these girls looks right for you. That being said, I don't know how anyone could just stop seeing both all together.
Anyway, I don't really understand what happened with Girl A. Is there some distance? Between two girls that turn me on physically I would pick the one with the deeper personality every single time.