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GAY BARS AND THE CHRONICALLY RETARDED
Calamity Jane
That Wrong LoveRegistered User regular
That Wrong LoveRegistered User regular
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR
I WANNA-
Okay, I'll shut up with that fucking song.
So, yesterday night I went to this gay bar in Nashville called "Play" with my brother, his girlfriend, her brother (who has rotted out teeth and decided to wear a fucking Naruto ninja headband there) and her friend who I was trying to fuck.
We get in there, and after paying the cover charge (fifteen bucks for me, and they put a big X on my hand oh my god I hate that shit) we were in.
The layout for this portion of the bar was your standard seating, with a stage. The dudes serving drinks were scantily clad, wearing Christmas themed undies and a red santa cap. Motherfuckers were just runnin' everywhere. I look around and everybody sort of seemed as bored and pissed as I was that nothing was happening. Or they were kissing and grinding and shit. Oh wait there's somebody coming on stage!
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, the drag queens lip-synching was pretty surreal.
Imagine people walking up each side of the stage giving money to the "singer" but no clothes are taken off.
I couldn't decide if I was pissed at how lame this was, or if it was something that I wasn't supposed to enjoy. But after the black singer doing an Eryka Badu number got finished, the giant bird man-lady singing Kelly Clarkson helped me realize this shit was terrible.
At some point, I caught a glimpse of DJ Qualls during this, and he was gonna pay the singer too. I think he chicken-shitted out though. More on that dude later.
After a Celine Dion song set to a fart-track (which was admittedly great), we got to the dance floor.
Gays was goin' wild, son.
Not just gays though. One or two trannies (you had to be real observant to notice), some middle aged straight couples, old (presumably gay) men, and once in a great while some moderately attractive lesbians.
Now, Play's atmosphere isn't as nearly as fun as one might think, but one thing they did do right was the music. Fucking hell, that dance music was fucking spectacular.
Might've been the best music I've ever drank to, and good lord they had some good drinks. I can't remember everything imbibed that night, but thank god my brother just hooked me up left and right with them. I just had to be sneaky with the shit.
Everything was great at that point. I was chilling, and watching the prospective fuckee dance like crazy. I start walking to the floor cause this was a now or never moment.
Luke taking out the death star.
Mayweather destroying Hatton.
John Wilkes Boothe shooting Abraham Lincoln.
But then I saw her kissing some girl.
Hey sweet! But then she kept going.
And the two exchanged numbers, and later left with one of the drag queens.
After this heartbreaking moment I sat back down and a gay man who seemed to be on ecstasy lurched over me.
Dang.
I get out of there to take a piss and the bathroom's packed. The john I try to get into had two dudes. One was sucking the other off.
Dang.
I meet back up with my brother and the gang and they're looking for fuckee. I explain what went down and they keep looking.
At some point, DJ Qualls is at the bar and is surrounded by people. The table and adjacent area is completely empty.
Motherfucker stared at me for something like 6 minutes. That shit was strange.
I'd of taken a picture but I didn't want to get clocked by a possibly-gay b-list actor.
Anyhow, the night sucked ass and I didn't get laid. It was a terrible feeling, being in a room full of happy folks and feeling like 12 sorts of shitty. Getting shot down again.
Getting home to sleep but you can't because the girl came back to your house with four drag queens and girls she is gonna fuck simply to get her cell phone.
Man, ain't no love out here for me.
TL;DR
Gays, fags, lol.
ITT gay bar stories
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Calamity Jane on
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Posts
maybe I am just too gay
worst posts
ajin-san "world's worst"
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/wishlist/1A4GKH199FBMU/ - My wishlist
I don't think so, but maybe.
I should read it again.
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
You should not be wearing that shit at all.
man, yourclothes
what happened
what happened to us
the prize was a free drink coupon and a jar of Play-Doh
my "date" didn't want anything to do with a straight, skinny dude with shaggy hair
I'd say it was a win-win scenario
i just love posts too darn much
They are where souls go to die.
3DS: 1607-3034-6970
I hate that fucker.
it's me
Still, console yourself that the girl didn't turn lesbian after going out with you for a few days, and telling you quote/unquote 'I can't go on living a lie.'
On Valentines Day, no less.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/wishlist/1A4GKH199FBMU/ - My wishlist
I've never been so flaccid in my life.
He brought a sword to my work, and he had it sheathed and covered with a cloth.
My manager was like, "Is that a real sword?"
"Yeah."
"Get out."
Certainly not you, you insignificant, ineffectual little man.
HIGH VOLTAGE
That level of nerdiness takes some balls, though.
skull, it was established beforehand she wasn't gay
perhaps she had some gay in her, but shoot i'd of liked to have known a little earlier
wait
nevermind
fuck a running lawnmower, you useless scumfuck
He doesn't wash his hair, either, so the top knot is all nasty.
you went to a gay bar as a fun date?
turns out her sister was one of the drag queens, and she was in town
so she wanted to make a date of it and we all went
Ha. That's the best joke ever.
Eh, take the advice of a random stranger from the 'net who's been through the same thing.
Just move on. It's not worth getting into any further.
If it's any help, about a year after that I met my girlfriend and soon to be fiance.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/registry/wishlist/1A4GKH199FBMU/ - My wishlist
how can her sister be a drag queen
does she "identify as female"
jesus I hate that shit
did it ever occur to you that she may be bi?
that perhaps you might have possibly ruined your chances for a 3 way (not my bag but many guys seem to dig that sort of thing)?
you deserved to go home alone
post op and so and so
The highest power level I encountered so far has been an overweight furry turned aquatic animal lover or something
fatty loved dolphins
he also always wore tight fitting shirts tucked into his pants, so you could see where his fat lurched over his belt.
Teefs signal