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No John, YOU ARE THE DEMONS (fanfic thread I guess)
Muggins
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Remember the days of Doom 3d?
Remember how fucking awesome that game was? But then remember the creation of the internet?
And more importantly the creation of FanFiction.net?
That fucking site
THAT FUCKING SITE
Aside from the horrible erotic shit in it, it has true masterpieces such as DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
which I quote...the entire fucking story:
Brilliant.
Well this brilliant bastard named Peter Chimaera has decided to write a fucking BOOK
http://www.peterchimaera.com/
This fucking wonderful book that everyone needs to buy right now.
AUDIO BITCHES:
TL;DR hahahah what a fucking horrible story
Remember how fucking awesome that game was? But then remember the creation of the internet?
And more importantly the creation of FanFiction.net?
That fucking site
THAT FUCKING SITE
Aside from the horrible erotic shit in it, it has true masterpieces such as DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
which I quote...the entire fucking story:
DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.
Brilliant.
Well this brilliant bastard named Peter Chimaera has decided to write a fucking BOOK
http://www.peterchimaera.com/
This fucking wonderful book that everyone needs to buy right now.
AUDIO BITCHES:
TL;DR hahahah what a fucking horrible story
Muggins on
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dude i have not drank enough tonight to handle this shit
No John. You are the demons.
...
He...he doesn't mean it, right?
RIGHT?!
fake edit: how the fuck are we supposed to z0r chain if you can't post a single letter
Created by Peter Chimaera
"Chief?"
"Not now," Master Chief answered, as he blasted his rifle at the Covenant guys. "I am in an emergency."
When the emergency was over, he said to the radio, "What is the message?"
"It is very important," said Private Martha Berk, "and you must return to base. I will drive you there."
She pulled in on a warthog just in time as more Covenant came running with other guns.
Chief jumped into the back and fired with the turret at full power.
"What is it?" He said as he shot all over.
"Hold on," Martha panicked. "We are driving right into a black hole."
When Master Chief killed the last of the covenant he let go of the turret and picked up two rocket launchers.
"It's action time," he said. Then he pointed and fired the rockets at the black hole but it did nothing.
"Giant greats!" He exscreamed! But it was too late and they got sucked in. His plan didn't work.
"Our only plan is to use a teleport," she shouted but couldn't be heard over the black hole. Minutes later they were on
the ship and everything was okay.
"Thanks for saving us," Master Chief sighed because it was a long day.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
I just got this mental picture of a Covenant Elite running towards the chief, backed up by a bunch of AK-47's on legs.
Also, "exscreamed" is now the bestest word ever, anyone that disagrees is a communist.
BATMAN: NEMESIS FIGHT
The Joker was Batman's evli nemisis and tehy foughts too many times so now Batman was tired.
"Morning Alfred" he said as he took off his bat suit.
"I made yuo teh eggs." And Bruce Wayne ate the eggs. But too bad becaus Joker knew what Batmans scret idenity was Bruce Wayne and came to combat him.
"No! You can not hurt the master Wayne" said Alferd and he was killed by the Joker's men.
"Good shoot!" shouted Joker at the gun man.
Batman wsa very angary for the kill of hsi frend so he shouted "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and shoot a big fireball like on Dragonball Z.
Joker was exploded over all the place and turned into a ghost. So Batman needed to fight with gohst powars to fight Joker's ghost.
Hsi magic baterang flew and cut Joker head off.
"I safed the day!" Batman shouted..
Later he wsa having sex with Catwoman becuas she was good now. But after tehy wer done she laufhed.
"Hah." seh said "taht was a trick. I am not good lkie I sad. I am alyaws evil!!" and she teird to kill him with a knife.
Batman had too use his refelxes to sotp the knife and kciked her.
Robin ran into to see what was noise and saw that it was naked Catwoman.
"Oh no, is Catwoman"
Catwomna tried now to kill Robin but she msised and Robin pncuhed her to go threw the window and she fel down and died.
"Batamn" Robin said and he was sad "I dont want to fight criem any more. I am tired of kiling." and he left.
"No! Robin!" But it was teh end. Adn he nevr saw Robin afetr that.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
Fucking paper back not e-book. I'm taking this with me on the tram and reading out loud you fuckers.
Also, is his book only two paragraphs long?
The "forth annul yuo rite gud" award?
write well
write good is grammatically flawed
"No I am not" she said and she gotted some water drink.
Morpheus walking into the bedroom "Good morning Neo we must kung fu"
So they trained the jiu jitsu and martia larts.
Neo kick him "Good job"
"Morpheus we got a distress signal it is from Niobe"
So they ran into the ship and they found Nioba and she was okay but there was a sentinal.
Neo punched it. His hand was hurting very badly.
"Neo you must be careful" Morphus said and shot the robot.
"Wait" Neo said and he downloaded how to kill the sentinels. But it was too late and cause the machines created a new matrix.
"No, we cannot our powers in the new matrix"
Then Neo disconnected but he was looked dead, and they all told Niobe the sad news.
"What happen in the first matrix" "They are all dead"
"tihs is too much" Morphus shotted quietly "help me fight to save this"
"i illh elp you" Trinity say with the cry she was sad cause thoughts neo was dead but it was matrix trick!
Neo try to say help but his body wads frozedn
"sOh no!" Merpheus say at teh radar screen "more matrix is attack us"
"we will have to jug in" Trinity hooked her up
Wehn they entared teh place was filled with Smiths because the matrix was curroopted with the matrix virus.
"I'll fight this 500" Morpus said and he sworded out his katana at great attack.
Trinity watch in amazing! "You are so good"
"What's this" Morpeud read a data becauz he was fight agents and make them run, but the data said some information!
"It say Neo is alife! We shuld wait go back to seak to him" and they tooks off by using phone interface.
Neo was okay they finds because of mediskel equipmont.
"The matrix is virused wso they cans not control the people any morR,. We arm not win yet but shall continue of the fight!"
They aggreed and formed for strewngth so they could fight the matrix one other day
"gentalmen the fight goes on" Neo said with fist and the crews cheered with new hope.
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
http://www.lulu.com/items/volume_62/1576000/1576026/2/preview/Microsoft_Word_-_Peter_Chimaera_segment_1.pdf
William Wallace burst into the door!!
"You were executedat!"
"Yes but I survived!" And William Walase took
his sword and skewered guards.
"You cannot kill my guards I am at king!"
"Maybe but! YOU YOURE NOT THE
KING OF IRELAND"
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
my eyes are bleeding
Desert Bus Ride #1 - A Romance Story and for Ladies
Mr. Oakland was he driving. He was drive to get the place, was Las Vegas but hads made make to drive all the way for eight hours approximately.
"Oh great" he am talk loudly at him! It was too long for enjoyable ride.
Just suddenly there was time to drive faster.
"Oh no, speed limit" he announcered to his driving bus who was shocked. They wondered what was his drive problem.
The passengers became listen to him as he told them what happen.
"It is powerful drive across desert. No man has ever"
"No man?" said them quietly.
"One man is, he is powerful warlock and he discover this desert incredibily"
"Scares children," one mother said and she was scared with earmuffs.
Is not cold in desert so Mr. Oakland did not know why she wear them so he leafs bus operation to investigate. A man who was there drove as well because he could drive a bus with his license.
The earmuffs were made of scientific discovery. "It keep me cool while we bus drive." She explanned.
Mr. Oakland decided to be believe her story but knew there was something up.
"We nearly hit a skunk," said the driver man who was named Bob Orlando and he speaked with no nervousness for the task was unfrightening. "We did not hit so it okay"
"I must drive for safety," Mr. Oakland say and he get back into wheel. Bob Orlando fall.
"He's sick"
"No," Bob replied. "Thank you for your concern, kind woman. I have losted my balancing." When he gets up they find blood.
"How far to Las Vegas and if they have hospital" the lady woman said with her dress in her fist.
"It is seven hours and forty five minutes more so hold on for speed, but we must make most of gasoline"
So they did not speed up.
"I am okay," Bob putted his hand on the blood and it stop so it was only small blood. "What is name"
"Margaret," she say distantly as look out window into desert. It was hot so she holding dress carefully in case of hot exhausting.
"I see you are wearing expensive dress"
"Thank you, it is one of my favourite clothing but it is not important. I have meet my boyfriend in Las Vegas and he will be in trouble"
Bob was sad that she had girlfriend but knew he would win her triumphantly to like him and maybe get a very good cup of coffee.
"But why?" he ask of information.
"My boyfriend is work for FBI and they have dangerous terroristm"
"That is outrageous," Bob demanded. "I hope he is safe"
"Thank you for concerning you"
Mr. Oakland thought carefully, it was too hard to tell the truth that him first name was Kyle Roberts and he work for FBI too but internal affairs send him to watch FBI so he knowded that Margaret boyfriend would be him job. Stressed he almost drove off the line but he pressed left and did not.
"It was a close one," he said but no one understand and did not know so he did not bother with them.
One man on the bus was from India and he talk of what it like to grow up in India.
When they arrive, boyfriend was got shot.
"He am hit by bullets!" Margaret thought very loudly.
"This is all because terrorists!" Mr. Oakland punched fist into air with angry. He was angry.
Boyfriend say "I am Jim and I am your cousin, Kyle"
It was too much and so Mr. Oakland cried in bus for eight hour drive back to Tucsan, Arizona. He never found out how it went at hospital and was never told.
"What happen?" ask an old woman, "This is frightening! Frightening me"
"We will be back soon but it will be very dark." He said to new passengers. One of passengers worked with Kyle Roberts for FBI many years ago but Mr. Oakland could not tell him the harsh news.
The End
Dedicated to the brave FBI
ATUHOR'S NOSE:
Uncycylopedia (which is online encyclopidia like wikiped) said I was writing story called Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction and dontn't know where come but I decide to write anyway.
CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IT MEANS
Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratoried.
Fellow scientist cow-orker Jimm said "Gordon Freemant what are you working on"
"UI have discovered new radoactive isatope but it is so vollatile that it does not have a half-life but quarter-life so we must observe with hasty"
Juts then a headcrab went on Jimms head OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM! GHordon wents to get his crowbarb ut it was missing so hhad to borrow a claymore sword. He hits teh headcrab and Jimm was okay but his head was cut
"Watch where you swings at me just kidding thanks"
" HAha" They laughed
"Whait oh no where id isotop?"
"UIt is been stoled!"
CHAPTER TWO: THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T
Gordon and Jimm arrived at teh alien scene where a bad guy from the game said "I have take the isotope and it will cause meltdown!"
"NO, NOT ALL OF DALLAS!" Which swas target of where they were and it was nice place and my friend lives there.
"IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS"
"TOO LATE" and the isotope hit quarterlife and teh room was slowly become vaporize
"Ew must escapes out of here fastly" but Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons.
CHAPTER THREE: DESTRUACTION IS IMMINANT
"This is Gordon Freeman how do we contain teh meltdown? I know!"
And he used portals to push henemy headquarters into a portal so Dallas wouldnt melt down and it would only go off harmless in Atlantic ocean.
"Hooray I scucceeded at winning the mission"
"Not so fast, Mr. Gordon"
What happens next? You deiside!
Tahnks for reading please buy my book at peterchimaera .com i am poor
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
this is art