Pickup Lines!

matthias00

Because everyone knows that pick-up lines are always so successful and useful!

No, actually this Thursday I have a "pick up line" contest in front of the entire school for this pageant thing we do. Basically the idea is to get the most ridiculous/funny pick up line you can while staying within the bounds of "you are going to be saying this in front of the entire student body so don't be crazy". They can be slightly risque, but not anything too bad.

The trouble is, all of the pick up lines I know are kind of bad, so they wouldn't really be that useful here. So I want to hear what PA has up its sleeve!

DarkPrimus

High school or college?

matthias00

High School.

Nibble

"Hey, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"

Uncle Long

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?"

"Enough to break the ice."

Comahawk

If your name is Doug:

"Hey, did you know that Doug is just God spelled backwards with a little 'U' mixed in?"

DarkSymphony

"got any Irish in ya?"

......"no? would you like some?"

Falx

Excuse me, do you smell smoke? No? Because that ass is on fire!

Here you go, here's the menu... oh no this is what I'll be making for breakfast at your place tomorrow morning.

*Go up to someone next to her* Excuse me, could you phone the police? This girl over here has taken my breath away!

real_pochacco

Heh, nerdy one I made up:

"I'd like to calculate the kinetic energy of an inelastic collision in the you-me system."

JoahW

Those are the whitest teeth I'd ever come across.


Bonus terrible math joke-
I wish i was your derivative so I could be tangent to your curves.

His Corkiness

"Let's go back to my place and lock each-other in cages."

Gleve

JoahW wrote: »

Those are the whitest teeth I'd ever come across.

Did we not read the OP where he said

"you are going to be saying this in front of the entire student body so don't be crazy"

hmmm?

I dont know which school you went to, but thats not what I'd want to say if I didn't want to cop a floggin!

My suggestion;

ahem

"Two legs, two arms, a working brain, able to stand on your own, correct me if I'm wrong, but you're attracted to me aren't you?"

txt

If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes

saint2e

I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Mr_Anonymous

Not sure if this would be considered risqué where you are or not, but how about:

"I'm sorry, but if you don't mind me saying, your eyes are like spanners. Every time I see them my nuts tighten."

I heard a lot of them recently I'll try and remember a few more.

EDIT: 5 Stars for the geekier ones. Also, I like the Irish one. Might try it out if I'm ever drunk enough in a foreign country...

Malkor

If you get to spout more than one line then end with 'Hi, my name is *name*.' or something simple, classy and not a pick up line.

ViolentChemistry

Rape-jokes are usually a bad way to talk a girl into coming home with you. Almost always, I'd say.

Daenris

txt wrote: »

If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes

That's it... contest over... this one wins

amateurhour

Are those moon pants? Cause that butt is out of this world...

PirateJon

wunderbar

I want to explore the mountains.....on your chest.

I hate pickup lines. They are horrible, and awesome, but generally horrible.

Tomanta

Would be a bit of a production, but try this legendary pickup line:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UwYJtny_C4U

JihadJesus

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?

Nitsuj82

Uncle Long wrote: »

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?"

"Enough to break the ice."

You stole my thunder.

This one does in fact, work. If nothing else, you'll get a giggle and name out of it.

Malkor

Tomanta wrote: »

Would be a bit of a production, but try this legendary pickup line:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UwYJtny_C4U

That was pretty good.

urahonky

Holy shit. That video owned.

Gleve

"I find the most attractive part of a woman the boobies"

Straight faced, this can be rather entertaining, yet not very appropriate for your environment.

Topia

Hey there. (somewhat angrily)Wait, you don't remember who I am? (sigh)It's alright, I guess, it was pretty dark under the covers.

Lord Yod

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

s_86

-

Topia

Are your pants felt? No? Do you want them to be?


So, do you keep forgetting your name because people keep calling you (handsome/sexy)?

Rubick

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

/shrug

I'd give him my number.