Space Gorillas and Rocket Reads!

Flyingman

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Hackers from the /i/nsurgency, a splinter group of anonymous raided scientology's secret, even sacred documents this morning. Documents were leaked. Splongcat, after raiding replied with "For the /i/nsurgency! Oh and, we did it for lulz." www.xanga.com/lordxenu

So yeah, those retards over at that site that shall not be named did something right for once. They hacked Scientology's secret (read; sacred) documents.

An exerpt.

And you say, "All right. Now, I'm going to say the item

again. 'Inevitable catsfish,' 'inevitable catsfish.'

All right. That rocket read." And it will. It rocket read

beautifully. Where was the charge? The charge is

insisted on. You must realize that these RIs don't have any more

charge on them than you see on the meter.

Just mark that down. This meter is not indicating the presence of

charge. The rocket read doesn't tell you

that there is some charge someplace. Just do a total associate.

See? The rocket read is the charge. All the

charge that is going to come off of that thing is seen in and has

velocity in that rocket read. That is the

charge. Now, you could be very pedantic and say, "Well, actually

the thetan in the facsimile is subjected to

certain impulses which causes him to impulsify and the 7.6-volt or

9-volt current which is being passed

through the corporeal resistance chamber known as a human body is

therefore modulated and monitored by

the various circuits which are approached from the right-hand

electrode and which terminate in the left-hand

electrode, and there's a magnetic influence so that you get a

visual response in the ohmmeter" --

oh-damn-iter.

If you needed any more proof that Tom Cruise was batshit crazy.

Soup

ahaha

what

Poorochondriac

I have this theory that all Scientologists are actually brilliant.

Now, bear with me here. Donations to religious organizations are tax deductible, right? And Scientology revolves around pay-based advancement. So they take in just a shitload of cash, but they don't seem to spend nearly as much as they receive. But money doesn't just disappear. I think it gets rerouted to the higher-ranking members.

I mean, look at it from a celebrity level. Getting paid 20 mil a picture, your taxes are insane. BUT, donate enough money to get to Ot 9, and your tax bill has gone way the fuck down. The Scientology folks cook the books a bit, get some of your cash back to you, and bam. You have made out like a bandit.

And I think the patently ridiculous "belief" system is all part of their cover. That shit about Xenu and volcanoes is just to keep the religion from getting too popular. I mean, the more people in on any illicit scheme, the more likely it is to fail. So they make it seem retarded and creepy to keep folks away, yet mysterious enough to lend an air of credibility. It is all one great, big, tax fraud enterprise.

But this is just a theory.

Knob

i could make up some gibberish and post it on the internet, too

check it

purple banana crescendo

i got that from secret (read; sacred) scientology computers

Poorochondriac

Lugubrious dentist romance

Flyingman

Gee Brain what do you wanna do tonight?

ouzaru

Poorochondriac wrote: »

I have this theory that all Scientologists are actually brilliant.

Now, bear with me here. Donations to religious organizations are tax deductible, right? And Scientology revolves around pay-based advancement. So they take in just a shitload of cash, but they don't seem to spend nearly as much as they receive. But money doesn't just disappear. I think it gets rerouted to the higher-ranking members.

I mean, look at it from a celebrity level. Getting paid 20 mil a picture, your taxes are insane. BUT, donate enough money to get to Ot 9, and your tax bill has gone way the fuck down. The Scientology folks cook the books a bit, get some of your cash back to you, and bam. You have made out like a bandit.

And I think the patently ridiculous "belief" system is all part of their cover. That shit about Xenu and volcanoes is just to keep the religion from getting too popular. I mean, the more people in on any illicit scheme, the more likely it is to fail. So they make it seem retarded and creepy to keep folks away, yet mysterious enough to lend an air of credibility. It is all one great, big, tax fraud enterprise.

But this is just a theory.

I'm pretty sure this is exactly what Mr. Hubbard had in mind when he came up with the shit in the first place.

You're not breaking new ground on this one, Poo.

Poorochondriac

sarukun wrote: »

Poorochondriac wrote: »

I have this theory that all Scientologists are actually brilliant.

Now, bear with me here. Donations to religious organizations are tax deductible, right? And Scientology revolves around pay-based advancement. So they take in just a shitload of cash, but they don't seem to spend nearly as much as they receive. But money doesn't just disappear. I think it gets rerouted to the higher-ranking members.

I mean, look at it from a celebrity level. Getting paid 20 mil a picture, your taxes are insane. BUT, donate enough money to get to Ot 9, and your tax bill has gone way the fuck down. The Scientology folks cook the books a bit, get some of your cash back to you, and bam. You have made out like a bandit.

And I think the patently ridiculous "belief" system is all part of their cover. That shit about Xenu and volcanoes is just to keep the religion from getting too popular. I mean, the more people in on any illicit scheme, the more likely it is to fail. So they make it seem retarded and creepy to keep folks away, yet mysterious enough to lend an air of credibility. It is all one great, big, tax fraud enterprise.

But this is just a theory.

I'm pretty sure this is exactly what Mr. Hubbard had in mind when he came up with the shit in the first place.

You're not breaking new ground on this one, Poo.

No, I know. My godmother is good friends with Connie Willis, and I've hung out with her just a shit ton. Used to give me rides home from school. But one of Connie's favorite stories is about when she was at a party with 'ol L. Ron, and he said a variation on his (now infamous) "I’d like to start a religion. That’s where the money is." Way he said it that night, it was something like "Fuck five dollars an inch. The real money's in religion."

ouzaru

Poorochondriac wrote: »

sarukun wrote: »

Poorochondriac wrote: »

I have this theory that all Scientologists are actually brilliant.

Now, bear with me here. Donations to religious organizations are tax deductible, right? And Scientology revolves around pay-based advancement. So they take in just a shitload of cash, but they don't seem to spend nearly as much as they receive. But money doesn't just disappear. I think it gets rerouted to the higher-ranking members.

I mean, look at it from a celebrity level. Getting paid 20 mil a picture, your taxes are insane. BUT, donate enough money to get to Ot 9, and your tax bill has gone way the fuck down. The Scientology folks cook the books a bit, get some of your cash back to you, and bam. You have made out like a bandit.

And I think the patently ridiculous "belief" system is all part of their cover. That shit about Xenu and volcanoes is just to keep the religion from getting too popular. I mean, the more people in on any illicit scheme, the more likely it is to fail. So they make it seem retarded and creepy to keep folks away, yet mysterious enough to lend an air of credibility. It is all one great, big, tax fraud enterprise.

But this is just a theory.

I'm pretty sure this is exactly what Mr. Hubbard had in mind when he came up with the shit in the first place.

You're not breaking new ground on this one, Poo.

No, I know. My godmother is good friends with Connie Willis, and I've hung out with her just a shit ton. Used to give me rides home from school. But one of Connie's favorite stories is about when she was at a party with 'ol L. Ron, and he said a variation on his (now infamous) "I’d like to start a religion. That’s where the money is." Way he said it that night, it was something like "Fuck five dollars an inch. The real money's in religion."

Five dollars an inch, though.

Poorochondriac

He was talking about writing for magazines and newspapers, you lecher.

Butler

$20 won't buy you very much these days anyway.

Butler

Also current is measured in amps not volts. Take that Scientology.

Randall_Flagg

I mean, it's not as if L. Ron was a bad science fiction writer per se

but he just seemed to want more

TankHammer

The whole "It's a giant scam" theory is very-much supported by the fact that the major public figures of Scientology are acclaimed actors. I find it nearly-impossible to believe that so many people can be taken for such a ride as to believe in Scientology, so I've always figured that most of the people within it had ulterior motives.

The crazy-shield is a good way to keep people from digging too deep.

You don't pick the pockets of a filthy, ranting hobo after all. Why pick the brain of a smiling, ranting lunatic?

Garlic Bread

Wallhitter

All hail the inevitable catfish.