One of my friends has an outstanding bounty on any video footage of another one of my friends whacking off, because "based on the way he rolls dice, it must be pretty intense."
So thats how he got all those gause-rifle-at-extreme-range headshots. Twelve and twelve, my ass....
Sword_of_Light on
"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. "
If theres some sort of wierdness going on with your dick, you take it up with a doctor. Wierd shit comming out of your car, thats what a mechanic is for. Mr. Happy is sad, take it to a doctor.
Not your buddies.
Yeah, this is why I don't talk about "girl-specific" stuff with female friends, because, to be honest, I don't care for their opinion, because they don't know more about my body than I do, generally-speaking. Same reason I don't talk about hair or makeup or anything, I guess, because I don't care what they think. Well, actually, I just don't care about stuff like that period. The closest I get to that is asking someone where they bought their earrings or something, because I like it and want one.
If theres some sort of wierdness going on with your dick, you take it up with a doctor. Wierd shit comming out of your car, thats what a mechanic is for. Mr. Happy is sad, take it to a doctor.
Not your buddies.
Yeah, this is why I don't talk about "girl-specific" stuff with female friends, because, to be honest, I don't care for their opinion, because they don't know more about my body than I do, generally-speaking. Same reason I don't talk about hair or makeup or anything, I guess, because I don't care what they think. Well, actually, I just don't care about stuff like that period. The closest I get to that is asking someone where they bought their earrings or something, because I like it and want one.
It's not about asking someone for a diagnosis, it's more of a "hey this is happening to me, ever happened to you? what'd you do about it" when it comes to body type things. And since all the girls sitting around do have a vag (I'm assuming) then at least they can say "no that's not happened to me" or "my doctor told me XYZ" or "that has happened to me, and I can understand and sympathize with your problem" etc.
Obviously more private people simply won't care to talk about these things at all.
If theres some sort of wierdness going on with your dick, you take it up with a doctor. Wierd shit comming out of your car, thats what a mechanic is for. Mr. Happy is sad, take it to a doctor.
Not your buddies.
Yeah, this is why I don't talk about "girl-specific" stuff with female friends, because, to be honest, I don't care for their opinion, because they don't know more about my body than I do, generally-speaking. Same reason I don't talk about hair or makeup or anything, I guess, because I don't care what they think. Well, actually, I just don't care about stuff like that period. The closest I get to that is asking someone where they bought their earrings or something, because I like it and want one.
It's not about asking someone for a diagnosis, it's more of a "hey this is happening to me, ever happened to you? what'd you do about it" when it comes to body type things. And since all the girls sitting around do have a vag (I'm assuming) then at least they can say "no that's not happened to me" or "my doctor told me XYZ" or "that has happened to me, and I can understand and sympathize with your problem" etc.
Obviously more private people simply won't care to talk about these things at all.
I am relativly private in person - but I'm reminded that there is a difference between how men and women communicate. I think it was that whole Men are from Mars thing - in a break up women want to be consoled (a guy did that same exact thing to me!), men want to fix it (ok, heres what you should do, get a bottle of tequila...). There is something to that, judging by our posts, becasue we're both taking those exact stances.
Sword_of_Light on
"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. "
If theres some sort of wierdness going on with your dick, you take it up with a doctor. Wierd shit comming out of your car, thats what a mechanic is for. Mr. Happy is sad, take it to a doctor.
Not your buddies.
Yeah, this is why I don't talk about "girl-specific" stuff with female friends, because, to be honest, I don't care for their opinion, because they don't know more about my body than I do, generally-speaking. Same reason I don't talk about hair or makeup or anything, I guess, because I don't care what they think. Well, actually, I just don't care about stuff like that period. The closest I get to that is asking someone where they bought their earrings or something, because I like it and want one.
It's not about asking someone for a diagnosis, it's more of a "hey this is happening to me, ever happened to you? what'd you do about it" when it comes to body type things. And since all the girls sitting around do have a vag (I'm assuming) then at least they can say "no that's not happened to me" or "my doctor told me XYZ" or "that has happened to me, and I can understand and sympathize with your problem" etc.
Obviously more private people simply won't care to talk about these things at all.
I am relativly private in person - but I'm reminded that there is a difference between how men and women communicate. I think it was that whole Men are from Mars thing - in a break up women want to be consoled (a guy did that same exact thing to me!), men want to fix it (ok, heres what you should do, get a bottle of tequila...). There is something to that, judging by our posts, becasue we're both taking those exact stances.
It's a fantastic book and one of the central points is that there are 2 ways to view relationships: Independence, and Intimacy. She says men more often view things via the lens of Independence, which puts relationships in a hierarchical order vs women who tend to view things thru the lens of Intimacy, which stresses connection instead of hierarchical position. It's all super interesting.
I've never understood the whole Girls/Guys Night Out thing. In most of the circles I frequent, there is no such distinction.
As an extension, I really hate the idea of Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. I find both equally disgusting, and I don't think it's empowering to women to sink to the level of neanderthal men.
They sink lower, since it's mostly just an excuse to get together and ruin bars for everyone by shrieking a lot, as far as I can tell. Girls who really know how to party don't go to those things.
As for myself, I'm not really into "guys night out." We have BS sessions where we sit around, watch horrible movies (last week was Red Dawn), drink beer, and play RISK or whatever. Female friends are welcome, but I guess it doesn't appeal to them so much.
This happens with me and my friends too. One of my friends and his wife often host us, so she's there sometimes and she plays D&D, Axis & Allies, M:TG, and other things with us, and my girlfriend will come along every now and then as well. Most of the time, however, it's just the five or six of us guys sitting around doing obscenely nerdy things for about six hours once a month.
I don't think I've ever been to a "guy's night out." I hang out with 3-5 guys pretty much every weekend and play some Rock Band, maybe watch a movie, play a few RTS games, etc. We'd be more than happy to have some of the girlfriends/wives join in, but so far none of have accepted the offer.
I think at some level the core "group of guys" can be somewhat intimidating. Something that might be unique to my friends - although I don't think it is - is just how brutal we can be to each other. The torrent of abuse from your buddies that a single missed vocal phrase in Rock Band can induce is hilarious, and that's just how guys that have known each other since grade school seem to relate to each other.
I'm guessing repeated assurances that "you don't have to be any good, and you can play on easy, it'll be fun!" don't carry much weight when you just finished heaping scorn on your buddy for not getting 100% on expert.
Vrtra Theory on
Are you a Software Engineer living in Seattle? HBO is hiring, message me.
I don't think I've ever been to a "guy's night out." I hang out with 3-5 guys pretty much every weekend and play some Rock Band, maybe watch a movie, play a few RTS games, etc. We'd be more than happy to have some of the girlfriends/wives join in, but so far none of have accepted the offer.
I think at some level the core "group of guys" can be somewhat intimidating. Something that might be unique to my friends - although I don't think it is - is just how brutal we can be to each other. The torrent of abuse from your buddies that a single missed vocal phrase in Rock Band can induce is hilarious, and that's just how guys that have known each other since grade school seem to relate to each other.
I'm guessing repeated assurances that "you don't have to be any good, and you can play on easy, it'll be fun!" don't carry much weight when you just finished heaping scorn on your buddy for not getting 100% on expert.
The most intimidating thing to see is someone struggle for a comeback, fail, and the rest of the group falls into laughter. Then they try to talk their way out of looking like an idiot, which causes a kind of laughter closed feedback loop where it just keeps getting worse for them.
I've never understood the whole Girls/Guys Night Out thing. In most of the circles I frequent, there is no such distinction.
As an extension, I really hate the idea of Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. I find both equally disgusting, and I don't think it's empowering to women to sink to the level of neanderthal men.
They sink lower, since it's mostly just an excuse to get together and ruin bars for everyone by shrieking a lot, as far as I can tell. Girls who really know how to party don't go to those things.
As for myself, I'm not really into "guys night out." We have BS sessions where we sit around, watch horrible movies (last week was Red Dawn), drink beer, and play RISK or whatever. Female friends are welcome, but I guess it doesn't appeal to them so much.
This happens with me and my friends too. One of my friends and his wife often host us, so she's there sometimes and she plays D&D, Axis & Allies, M:TG, and other things with us, and my girlfriend will come along every now and then as well. Most of the time, however, it's just the five or six of us guys sitting around doing obscenely nerdy things for about six hours once a month.
My guy friends never played Risk again after I kicked their collective asses at Risk: Godstorm. I took a gamble and went for Atlantis, and it payed off. Someone finally realized that they had the Sink Atlantis card, but he was out of mana and it was the last turn of the game.
Ok, they're not really sore losers, it just wasn't that good of a game.
Most of the time we either play poker or Bang! We've played some Settlers and some Carcassone (I think it was Carcassone, not sure). I kept trying to get people to play Dork Tower, the board RPG, but it took too much energy for everyone to learn the rules
We never have "guys night out" but I do know the girls of our circle of friends will specifically chose not to join in some of our events "so that you can have a guys night". These girls are all girlfriends of guys in the group so I think it's their way of doing the "both people in a relationship need some personal time every so often" thing.
Our board game and Rock Band nights are always co-ed, cause the girls in our group are (generally) awesome and into that type of shit. Usually it's the anime nights that they opt out of.
No, guys coming into our group think we are unbearable douchebags as well.
Yeah, that's really not a guys-not-girls phenomenon that you and Vrta described above. I am entirely to content to start berating my friends (or husband) as filthy, cock-mongering taardvarks if they screw up a Guitar Hero duet or (for example) our paladin in D&D announces our presence to a roomful of monsters that would like nothing more than to digest cute little bite-sized roguish me. Actually about half our D&D group is female (3 girls, 4 guys ... vice versa if you count the fact that Mr. DG decided to roll a female half-elf) which is pretty good. And I'm better both at Guitar Hero and screaming incoherent insults than any of the dudes are. :P Maybe it's just a hanging-out-with-grad-students artifact, but our group of friends is really well integrated gender-wise, and I like that about it.
No, guys coming into our group think we are unbearable douchebags as well.
Yeah, that's really not a guys-not-girls phenomenon that you and Vrta described above. I am entirely to content to start berating my friends (or husband) as filthy, cock-mongering taardvarks if they screw up a Guitar Hero duet or (for example) our paladin in D&D announces our presence to a roomful of monsters that would like nothing more than to digest cute little bite-sized roguish me. Actually about half our D&D group is female (3 girls, 4 guys ... vice versa if you count the fact that Mr. DG decided to roll a female half-elf) which is pretty good. And I'm better both at Guitar Hero and screaming incoherent insults than any of the dudes are. :P Maybe it's just a hanging-out-with-grad-students artifact, but our group of friends is really well integrated gender-wise, and I like that about it.
We never have "guys night out" but I do know the girls of our circle of friends will specifically chose not to join in some of our events "so that you can have a guys night". These girls are all girlfriends of guys in the group so I think it's their way of doing the "both people in a relationship need some personal time every so often" thing.
Our board game and Rock Band nights are always co-ed, cause the girls in our group are (generally) awesome and into that type of shit. Usually it's the anime nights that they opt out of.
Oh yeah, and I meant to say, we do separate girls and guys nights maybe ... two or three times a year? And it's generally seen as a "time away from SO so that no one gets sick of each other or anything" thing. Plus I go out to lunch or dinner with just my best friend (well, second best if you count Mr. DG) but that's just because she's my best friend and god dammit we don't get to hang out enough.
Did people really imply in the last page that men prefer to be alone then connected to people?
Really?
I must have misinferred.
I think he was more pointing out that guys in a group don't necessarily interact like girls in a group might.
There have been studies done on this. Their methodology is certainly questionable, as always, but the conclusions were a bit telling. American men tend to say their piece and shut up, sometimes completely ignoring other contributions. American women tend to actively exchange ideas, and take a much more active role in conversations in general.
The problem is that it doesn't generalize easily. There's a whole lot of variation, but that does seem to be the societal trend.
Do women talk more about penis or vaginas? I'm pretty sure guys talk more about vaginas. If women talk about vaginas too then I see no reason we can't all hang out and not talk about penises.
Did people really imply in the last page that men prefer to be alone then connected to people?
Really?
I must have misinferred.
I think he was more pointing out that guys in a group don't necessarily interact like girls in a group might.
There have been studies done on this. Their methodology is certainly questionable, as always, but the conclusions were a bit telling. American men tend to say their piece and shut up, sometimes completely ignoring other contributions. American women tend to actively exchange ideas, and take a much more active role in conversations in general.
The problem is that it doesn't generalize easily. There's a whole lot of variation, but that does seem to be the societal trend.
Well if that's true I should probably stop making friends with guys.
Seriously what is the point of even being around people if you're gonna be like that...?
Did people really imply in the last page that men prefer to be alone then connected to people?
Really?
I must have misinferred.
I think he was more pointing out that guys in a group don't necessarily interact like girls in a group might.
There have been studies done on this. Their methodology is certainly questionable, as always, but the conclusions were a bit telling. American men tend to say their piece and shut up, sometimes completely ignoring other contributions. American women tend to actively exchange ideas, and take a much more active role in conversations in general.
The problem is that it doesn't generalize easily. There's a whole lot of variation, but that does seem to be the societal trend.
Well if that's true I should probably stop making friends with guys.
Seriously what is the point of even being around people if you're gonna be like that...?
Well, like I said, the methodology is questionable. The settings they used weren't the most appropriate for fully observing conversational nuances between and among men and women. It's not true per se, but it's just a general behavior. And instead of saying that men ignore other ocntributions entirely, I should have just said they don't actually respond to them. They'll say their bit in its entirety and let others respond to it instead of actively pursuing something.
So yeah, it's definitely not true about everybody, but it might be true for a slight plurality of American men and women.
Did people really imply in the last page that men prefer to be alone then connected to people?
Really?
I must have misinferred.
You did.
I said the author i was talking about said that men tend to view relationships thru a lens lens of Independence, rather than intimacy. What this usually leads to with men is a bunch of "one-upmanship".
"I drank a fifth of tequilla last night, that was awesome"
"yeah, i remember one time a drank a fifth in an hour and got really fucked up"
"That's nothing compared to the time i stayed drunk for seven days off of 14 bottles of whiskey"
that kind of stuff. You rarely hear women doing the same thing. They tend to have conversations like:
"John is being mean and ignoring me, i don't like it"
"Yeah, i've had guys do that to me before, it makes you feel so unimportant and replaceable"
"Last time a guy did that to me i told him how i felt and he apologized cause he didn't know what he was doing"
etc.
Note: The diologe above was grossly unrealistic, overexagerated and stereotyped intentionally. Just to make a point.
Do women talk more about penis or vaginas? I'm pretty sure guys talk more about vaginas. If women talk about vaginas too then I see no reason we can't all hang out and not talk about penises.
This is the best post of this thread. If I were less attached to my Malfoy sig, I would have sig'd that so fast.
Did people really imply in the last page that men prefer to be alone then connected to people?
Really?
I must have misinferred.
I think he was more pointing out that guys in a group don't necessarily interact like girls in a group might.
There have been studies done on this. Their methodology is certainly questionable, as always, but the conclusions were a bit telling. American men tend to say their piece and shut up, sometimes completely ignoring other contributions. American women tend to actively exchange ideas, and take a much more active role in conversations in general.
The problem is that it doesn't generalize easily. There's a whole lot of variation, but that does seem to be the societal trend.
Well if that's true I should probably stop making friends with guys.
Seriously what is the point of even being around people if you're gonna be like that...?
Some guy did a stage show about a decade ago about stuff like this. I couldn't find his name but it still makes a little sense...
He said men for tens of thousands of years were generally the hunters in most societies and had to remain quite on the hunt, using direct verbiage or hand signals to ensure the hunt was a success.
Women were generally gatherers who watched over the children they bore. They're method of communication was also survival driven as a constant network of sound allowed them to keep track of each other in large groups and perhaps more importantly of their young who had a tendency to scamper off.
I figure if this guy is right, given how relatively young civilization is in comparison to the extent of our hunter/gatherer ancestry then eons of conditioning could work itself into our genetics.
Chatty men starve or get gored by a wild bore.
The women part is hard since I'd figure an entire group of people with no reason to be silent could hardly go without some amount of communication occasionally.
edit: Wasn't there also a study that concluded men used cell phones more but in shorter amounts of time? I believe this was before the golden age of texting.
Posts
So thats how he got all those gause-rifle-at-extreme-range headshots. Twelve and twelve, my ass....
Yeah, this is why I don't talk about "girl-specific" stuff with female friends, because, to be honest, I don't care for their opinion, because they don't know more about my body than I do, generally-speaking. Same reason I don't talk about hair or makeup or anything, I guess, because I don't care what they think. Well, actually, I just don't care about stuff like that period. The closest I get to that is asking someone where they bought their earrings or something, because I like it and want one.
It's not about asking someone for a diagnosis, it's more of a "hey this is happening to me, ever happened to you? what'd you do about it" when it comes to body type things. And since all the girls sitting around do have a vag (I'm assuming) then at least they can say "no that's not happened to me" or "my doctor told me XYZ" or "that has happened to me, and I can understand and sympathize with your problem" etc.
Obviously more private people simply won't care to talk about these things at all.
I am relativly private in person - but I'm reminded that there is a difference between how men and women communicate. I think it was that whole Men are from Mars thing - in a break up women want to be consoled (a guy did that same exact thing to me!), men want to fix it (ok, heres what you should do, get a bottle of tequila...). There is something to that, judging by our posts, becasue we're both taking those exact stances.
Yeah, there's an awesome book by Deborah Tannen called You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation.
It's a fantastic book and one of the central points is that there are 2 ways to view relationships: Independence, and Intimacy. She says men more often view things via the lens of Independence, which puts relationships in a hierarchical order vs women who tend to view things thru the lens of Intimacy, which stresses connection instead of hierarchical position. It's all super interesting.
Obviously these are generalities, not rules.
https://medium.com/@alascii
This happens with me and my friends too. One of my friends and his wife often host us, so she's there sometimes and she plays D&D, Axis & Allies, M:TG, and other things with us, and my girlfriend will come along every now and then as well. Most of the time, however, it's just the five or six of us guys sitting around doing obscenely nerdy things for about six hours once a month.
I think at some level the core "group of guys" can be somewhat intimidating. Something that might be unique to my friends - although I don't think it is - is just how brutal we can be to each other. The torrent of abuse from your buddies that a single missed vocal phrase in Rock Band can induce is hilarious, and that's just how guys that have known each other since grade school seem to relate to each other.
I'm guessing repeated assurances that "you don't have to be any good, and you can play on easy, it'll be fun!" don't carry much weight when you just finished heaping scorn on your buddy for not getting 100% on expert.
https://medium.com/@alascii
The most intimidating thing to see is someone struggle for a comeback, fail, and the rest of the group falls into laughter. Then they try to talk their way out of looking like an idiot, which causes a kind of laughter closed feedback loop where it just keeps getting worse for them.
girls can't play with the big boys etc etc.
https://medium.com/@alascii
No, guys coming into our group think we are unbearable douchebags as well.
My guy friends never played Risk again after I kicked their collective asses at Risk: Godstorm. I took a gamble and went for Atlantis, and it payed off. Someone finally realized that they had the Sink Atlantis card, but he was out of mana and it was the last turn of the game.
Ok, they're not really sore losers, it just wasn't that good of a game.
Most of the time we either play poker or Bang! We've played some Settlers and some Carcassone (I think it was Carcassone, not sure). I kept trying to get people to play Dork Tower, the board RPG, but it took too much energy for everyone to learn the rules
But that's just because I'm a commie.
Our board game and Rock Band nights are always co-ed, cause the girls in our group are (generally) awesome and into that type of shit. Usually it's the anime nights that they opt out of.
Yeah, that's really not a guys-not-girls phenomenon that you and Vrta described above. I am entirely to content to start berating my friends (or husband) as filthy, cock-mongering taardvarks if they screw up a Guitar Hero duet or (for example) our paladin in D&D announces our presence to a roomful of monsters that would like nothing more than to digest cute little bite-sized roguish me. Actually about half our D&D group is female (3 girls, 4 guys ... vice versa if you count the fact that Mr. DG decided to roll a female half-elf) which is pretty good. And I'm better both at Guitar Hero and screaming incoherent insults than any of the dudes are. :P Maybe it's just a hanging-out-with-grad-students artifact, but our group of friends is really well integrated gender-wise, and I like that about it.
hi5!
How girly of you.
Oh yeah, and I meant to say, we do separate girls and guys nights maybe ... two or three times a year? And it's generally seen as a "time away from SO so that no one gets sick of each other or anything" thing. Plus I go out to lunch or dinner with just my best friend (well, second best if you count Mr. DG) but that's just because she's my best friend and god dammit we don't get to hang out enough.
I see what you mean.
We're not talking about more exciting things, like sex, as much as I'd like.
I just multiclassed into wizard. Now I can do pretty pretty dancing lights!
It's a rave!
Girls aren't supposed to play classes that require intelligence.
Delete your character immediately and report to the laundry room.
My charisma has a -1 modifier, I'll almost certainly fail at my "Charm Washing Machine" roll!
Nothing compared to the -10 modifier to strength because you're a girl!!!
Dexterity gets a bonus though. :P
Really?
I must have misinferred.
Fortunately you don't need strength when god designed your hips for resting laundry baskets and/or small children on them!
So would that imply a bonus to your constitution score?
I think he was more pointing out that guys in a group don't necessarily interact like girls in a group might.
There have been studies done on this. Their methodology is certainly questionable, as always, but the conclusions were a bit telling. American men tend to say their piece and shut up, sometimes completely ignoring other contributions. American women tend to actively exchange ideas, and take a much more active role in conversations in general.
The problem is that it doesn't generalize easily. There's a whole lot of variation, but that does seem to be the societal trend.
Well if that's true I should probably stop making friends with guys.
Seriously what is the point of even being around people if you're gonna be like that...?
Well, like I said, the methodology is questionable. The settings they used weren't the most appropriate for fully observing conversational nuances between and among men and women. It's not true per se, but it's just a general behavior. And instead of saying that men ignore other ocntributions entirely, I should have just said they don't actually respond to them. They'll say their bit in its entirety and let others respond to it instead of actively pursuing something.
So yeah, it's definitely not true about everybody, but it might be true for a slight plurality of American men and women.
You did.
I said the author i was talking about said that men tend to view relationships thru a lens lens of Independence, rather than intimacy. What this usually leads to with men is a bunch of "one-upmanship".
"I drank a fifth of tequilla last night, that was awesome"
"yeah, i remember one time a drank a fifth in an hour and got really fucked up"
"That's nothing compared to the time i stayed drunk for seven days off of 14 bottles of whiskey"
that kind of stuff. You rarely hear women doing the same thing. They tend to have conversations like:
"John is being mean and ignoring me, i don't like it"
"Yeah, i've had guys do that to me before, it makes you feel so unimportant and replaceable"
"Last time a guy did that to me i told him how i felt and he apologized cause he didn't know what he was doing"
etc.
Note: The diologe above was grossly unrealistic, overexagerated and stereotyped intentionally. Just to make a point.
Some guy did a stage show about a decade ago about stuff like this. I couldn't find his name but it still makes a little sense...
He said men for tens of thousands of years were generally the hunters in most societies and had to remain quite on the hunt, using direct verbiage or hand signals to ensure the hunt was a success.
Women were generally gatherers who watched over the children they bore. They're method of communication was also survival driven as a constant network of sound allowed them to keep track of each other in large groups and perhaps more importantly of their young who had a tendency to scamper off.
I figure if this guy is right, given how relatively young civilization is in comparison to the extent of our hunter/gatherer ancestry then eons of conditioning could work itself into our genetics.
Chatty men starve or get gored by a wild bore.
The women part is hard since I'd figure an entire group of people with no reason to be silent could hardly go without some amount of communication occasionally.
edit: Wasn't there also a study that concluded men used cell phones more but in shorter amounts of time? I believe this was before the golden age of texting.
We do it a little, but mostly its in the form of insults, which is our main method of entertaining ourself.
There's very little "I stayed up for 48 hours one time"
"Oh yeah, well i stayed up for a year!" type stuff that goes on with us.
None of my friends do it either, but two of their fiancees do it.
I kid, I kid. Know what's also bad? Name droppers.