Do you know what chaps my ass? (sorry, gross)

dman222

Seriously, I wouldn't post this if I wasn't desperate but:
A year and a half ago I got really sick (sinus infection that eventually required sinus surgery) and was given hardcore antibiotics that, you know, gave me the runs for a while... and ever since things just haven't quite worked right. Now, I have, for lack of a better description, a constantly chapped ass. Or at least I think this is how you would define chapped? It feels like a horrible itch or just general discomfort right up there in the anus. If I wear tight pants it seems to make things worse. Loose fitting clothes help but it is not like I can go to the office everyday in mesh shorts. And really the goal is to have the problem go away for good.

Whenever I "drop a deuce" it is a choice between seeing little bits of red on the TP afterwards or not getting things clean enough, either way (wipping a lot or wipping a little) doesn't seem to be better. But I mean seriously, who wouldn't be freaked out by seeing any amount of blood come from his anus. I tried asking my doctor about it and he kind of blew me off and said "it will get better, just tough it out". But man, this has been going on for a year and a half and it is kind of causing trouble in life. I'll somewhat oftten have to stop into a bathroom just to re-wipe thinking "maybe that will help"... sometimes it does... sometimes it doesn't.

So now in desperation I come to the help/advice forums and hope someone else has some sort of advice to offer. And yes, I wasn't man enough to post under my usual nick so I created a new one for just this threads purpose. Sorry, I know it is gross, but does ANYONE have ANY ideas that are better than my doctors advice? please?

Trowizilla

It sounds like a hemorrhoid, kind of. Maybe get some Preparation-H? Oh, and get a different doctor that won't blow you off when you complain about a legitimate problem. There's surgery to relieve hemmorhoid pain, if it comes to that. Either way, I hope you feel better!

real_pochacco

this totally happens to me too, I think softer toilet paper helps

supabeast

Try wiping with baby wipes for a few days, and rub some moisturizer down there before bed.

Improvolone

Use wet wipes (flushable only!!!) after every shit.
Are we talking about asshole only chapping, or but crack and cheeks?

dman222

Hi, I definitely appreciate the replies. I tried Preparation-H when it first started happening and it didn't seem to do anything different than moisturizer. When I saw the doctor I mentioned hemorrhoids and he did in fact check to confirm it wasn't that.

I have been using moisturizer to get some relief and something like 75% of the time it helps but once I throw down two bills the moisturizer is gone and it is as if I never had it there... so at least so far it only seems to work as a short temporary fix. And worse, sometimes it seems to keep things too moist which makes it worse. I might try to pick up some vaseline to see if that does any better... but I don't know. I'll definitely pick up some babywipes and see how that goes... for a while I even tried just the "shit then shower method" which I thought should work for sure... but still no luck. The only thing that works is not shitting. If for some reason I get sick or whatever and don't shit for like a day and a half then things seem to start improving during that time... but once i hit the toilet again all that improvement is gone. it also definitely doesn't help that I have been working out quite a bit lately and (i think as a result) shitting sometimes twice a day and doing so at work where the tp is like sandpaper.

Oh and we are talking only about asshole chapping. I'm still not even 100% sure what is causing it, wiping? some kind of walking around friction?
I'll be sure to post and update whether any of the suggestions seem to be working.

Svelte Penguin

See the doc again and be more insistent, or see another doc. You could have a number of different problems. Could be a fungal thing, could be hemmorhoids. Might be treatable with some steroids. No matter what it is, it's worth having a doc take a look at it because it could be treatable. Wet wipes might be a good idea too. Even if it's nothing serious you deserve to be listened to when you see a doc. You don't need to yell at him or anything, but get across to him what an impact it is on your life.
Also, it could be a bit of a vicious cycle. Not being clean tends to cause irritation on its own.

spacerobot

Maybe try and get more fiber in your diet? I've never had surgery or anything, but the same thing happens to me frequently. It can be annoying and embarassing. I used to eat really unhealthy meals, but now I only eat organic and make sure to get extra fiber in my diet and it's been sooo much better.

And perhaps you can find some answers you're looking for at the poop report: http://www.poopreport.com/ It may seem like a strange website (it is) but they do have advice for stuff like that there, I think.

dman222

I Thought I would put out an update incase anyone comes across this thread with the same problem. I took a look at spacerobots link and found a huge amount of people with the similar symptoms and apparently no solution.

So I switched over to flushable wipes exclusively and now as long as I stick to those things go pretty well. I usually stash a few in a ziplock bag in my desk at work and then keep a pack at home. I have to say though, I don't know if I will ever go back to regular tp. Using these things? It is like the royal treatment for your cornhole. I would probably recommend it to anyone.

on the occasions when I do switch back to regular tp it does still seem to cause trouble, so i'm not actually 100% cured... but maybe I'm getting there.

Thanks guys!

saggio

Get the thickest olive oil that you can find, and then slather it on after you get out of the shower. Then keep a bottle with you, and apply it after you go to the bathroom (using the wipes, of course). Change your underwear at least once a day.

Your problem should go away.

meeker

I looked into this and found out about these:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinworm

Now I am scared of worms crawling out of my ass...

BlochWave

This happens when you get the runs pretty bad usually

My solution, and I looked to make sure I am in fact NOT the only person in the world who has done this, was to rub vaseline around the affected area

Oh yes I did

You gotta get in there! Gloves are optional