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Should I go back to work?
nizlopi
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Here’s how it goes, I love my life at the moment, I live in a great house with an amazing partner and the cutest little baby boy evar, but recently I’ve been getting the urge to go back to work.
It’s not like I need to, and at first it would only be part time, but my sons only 8 months old, and I don’t really *need* to go back. Financially, we could USE the money, but we'd only spend it on childcare and DVDs anyway. We're not by any means rich, but we don’t go without. I really don’t want to miss out on my son growing up, but at the same time I just feel like I’m not doing anything. Right now, he's asleep so I’m just sitting on the internet refreshing the heat magazine website.
I love being a stay at home mother, I really do, but I do need something else and a little part time job would be great. I just feel so guilty
Oh, also, in the opticians the other day, when I was asked what it was I did I said 'I’m a full time mum' and the man looked at me like I was the scum of the earth or something!
Should I apply for some part time jobs? Or should I just stay at home and feel blessed that I dont have to work? I dunno what to do.
It’s not like I need to, and at first it would only be part time, but my sons only 8 months old, and I don’t really *need* to go back. Financially, we could USE the money, but we'd only spend it on childcare and DVDs anyway. We're not by any means rich, but we don’t go without. I really don’t want to miss out on my son growing up, but at the same time I just feel like I’m not doing anything. Right now, he's asleep so I’m just sitting on the internet refreshing the heat magazine website.
I love being a stay at home mother, I really do, but I do need something else and a little part time job would be great. I just feel so guilty
Oh, also, in the opticians the other day, when I was asked what it was I did I said 'I’m a full time mum' and the man looked at me like I was the scum of the earth or something!
Should I apply for some part time jobs? Or should I just stay at home and feel blessed that I dont have to work? I dunno what to do.
nizlopi on
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Firstly, to hell with him
Having a parent at home full time is great for the kid and is a full time job in it's own right, so don't feel like you aren't doing a good thing by giving your child parenting.
However, that being said, there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting to take a full or part time job either. It's entirely your choice.
I guess one recommendation might be to think about whether there is something you could do on your own terms, like starting up a small business that you can run from home so you'd be able to still look after the kid (and not have to just put all the money you earned into childcare) but also have something productive to do in your spare time. If you still have energy left after looking after your kid full time, I can certainly see why you'd want to use it.
If you are going to spend any proceeds you would earn on childcare and DVDS, its more or less a wash. You can work your whole life, more or less, your child is only going to be this age once. My mother sacrificed her career to become a stay at home mother and I immensely appreciate and respect her for it.
Seriously, fuck that guy, damn.
I just want to third this, because it is really, really important. I am so appreciative of all that my mother did for us by staying at home.
Have you considered part time study? You could do it from home in the moments when your baby is asleep, and it'd keep you busy whilst giving you extra qualifications for if you go back to full time work when your child/children are older.
That's a great idea. Four years off work, get a second degree with the OU or whatever - do something like Project Management or an MBA - kid goes to school, BAM! high-paid job. Damn, I wish I could get away with doing that now.
For example, my mother worked as a book-keeper for a small jewelry store for as long as I can remember during my childhood along with that of my two younger brothers. She was able to stay at home for most the time and mabye once a day had to go in for an hour and sometimes she could wait until my father got home from work.
That way, you can make a little money and you can spend time with your son.
Oh god no, my mother did that, she packed tights for most of my childhood, it made her miserable, so no worries there.
I like the idea of studying though, Id never thought of that. Id like to maybe look into that, so whoever suggested it thanks
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Honestly, if you're in a position where you can stay at home w/o going into debt and can live pleasantly, I'd suggest getting a part time job. Your kid is old enough where some daycare (or a regular sitter) isn't going to be a big deal for him or you two, and honestly, you shouldn't feel guilty, BUT your interactions are essentially just your partner and the kid. It's not not at all surprising that you'd want to get out a bit.
But you're also right in that a new full-time job probably won't really DO anything other than put your kid in daycare and essentially pay for that and maybe a few DVDs. A part time job is better because you can work a few days, and if it doesn't work out you can quit with fewer hard feelings. It might also be a good way to "get your feet wet" after having the kid, since you'll probably be in a different place mentally when it comes to work.
What's better is that if you look around, you might easily find a part time job that offers a kid's space, or is happy to let you bring your kid along. Perfect!
By part time, I don't mean walmart or starbucks, either, just 10-20 hours at a business.
Also, as an aside Nizlopi is a great band.
Do what you feel comfortable with, but for me some form of adult interaction and conversation was necessary for my sanity.
I suggest taking that into account before a decision is made.
"This is where I say something profound and you bow, so lets just skip to your part."
Oh lord, another baby? Im fine with the one I have thanks!! Haha