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Major League Eating - the game! Shove food down your digital gullet till you spew!

cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
edited February 2008 in Games and Technology
1142787973_7602.jpg

Ah, what a wonderful world it is in which people who willingly call themselves "gurgitators" hork down 47,000 hot dogs or matzo balls or whatever in order to be crowned the champion of horking stuff down. And since other sports get video games, then why not competitive eating?

Yes, for some unfathomable reason a bunch of unspecified systems will soon get Major League Eating (yes, that's the actual name of the organization) from some publisher called Mastiff. And Mastiff is fucking proud of it.
"Major League Eaters aren't just elite athletes," says Bill Swartz, Head Woof at Mastiff with a straight face. "They are the people who built America. Or at least the competitive eating part of America. And I am deeply honored that the International Federation of Competitive Eating and Major League Eating choose Mastiff as their exclusive videogame partner."

Okie dokie. In the game you can assume the persona of several real-world eating champions, including Takeru Kobayashi, that shrimpy Japanese guy who can out-eat five big fat Hell's Angels combined. Mastiff is describing it as a "fighting game," with an arsenal including belches and "mustard gas." Your goal is to avoid the dreaded "reversal of fortune," which is competitive eating code for tossing your cookies.

Great game, or greatest game?

http://ps3.ign.com/articles/850/850440p1.html

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cloudeagle on
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Posts

  • LewiePLewieP Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Oh humanity.

    What have you wrought...

    LewieP on
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  • darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    This would be brilliant on the Phantom.

    darleysam on
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  • urahonkyurahonky Cynical Old Man Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    On the ps3? It'd be better on the Wii.

    urahonky on
  • GoodOmensGoodOmens Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Well, shit, is it April already?

    GoodOmens on
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  • skarsolskarsol Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Reversal of Fortune. In HD. *sadface*

    skarsol on
    why are you smelling it?
  • TalTal Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    That's it. I've lost all faith in humanity now. What little shred there may have been left, it's gone.



    Seriously...it's April right? I've been in a coma the past 2 months? Please?

    Tal on
  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    And Mastiff is fucking proud of it.

    Why wouldn't you be?

    Ryadic on
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  • Niceguyeddie616Niceguyeddie616 All you feed me is PUFFINS! I need NOURISHMENT!Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    Niceguyeddie616 on
  • darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    America gets a good ol' slow clap for that one.

    darleysam on
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  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    darleysam wrote: »
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    America gets a good ol' slow clap for that one.

    That's what's great about being an American. We piss people off and when they do shit to us for it, we just piss them off more. "If we don't break this ham eating record, the terrorists win. Do you want that fuckers? Do you want the terrorists to win, goddamn un-American bastards."

    Ryadic on
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  • Resident0Resident0 Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    70 pounds of ham... What. The. Fuck?

    I have a quarter pound of ham when I have sandwiches and thats about 5 slices...

    My brain cannot begin to even imagine someone eating 70 pounds of ham without being violently sick, also has anyone ever choked to death in this 'sport' as that would be quite amusing seeing some guy choking and going blue and everyone just continuing to look at him while stuffing more ham into their faces.

    Resident0 on
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  • darkmayodarkmayo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Ryadic wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    America gets a good ol' slow clap for that one.

    That's what's great about being an American. We piss people off and when they do shit to us for it, we just piss them off more. "If we don't break this ham eating record, the terrorists win. Do you want that fuckers? Do you want the terrorists to win, goddamn un-American bastards."


    well the terrorists dont eat ham anyways, HAM FUR MERICKA!

    darkmayo on
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  • SirUltimosSirUltimos Don't talk, Rusty. Just paint. Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I, for one, am finally glad that America's most ignored sport is finally getting some attention. Too long have we live our lives, not caring about Major League Eating. Hopefully this game will spark interest in the sport, make it grow more popular, and usher a true golden age of sport!

    Wait, no. This is fucking stupid. Yeah, that's the one.

    SirUltimos on
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  • cocheseisdeadcocheseisdead Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    70 POUNDS!?!?!?

    I've butchered pigs before and I have seen 70 pounds of pork in a pile. 70 POUNDS!?!?!?!?

    cocheseisdead on
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Yes, for some unfathomable reason a bunch of unspecified systems will soon get Major League Eating (yes, that's the actual name of the organization) from some publisher called Mastiff. And Mastiff is fucking proud of it.

    As a quick note, Mastiff is the company that gave us Pump it Up: Exceed, and La Pucelle...

    Rythym-based tactical RPG about eating?

    Shadowfire on
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  • FoodFood Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Bill Swartz, Head Woof at Mastiff, on competitive eaters wrote:
    "They are the people who built America. Or at least the competitive eating part of America."

    :lol:

    Food on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Yes, for some unfathomable reason a bunch of unspecified systems will soon get Major League Eating (yes, that's the actual name of the organization) from some publisher called Mastiff. And Mastiff is fucking proud of it.

    As a quick note, Mastiff is the company that gave us Pump it Up: Exceed, and La Pucelle...

    Rythym-based tactical RPG about eating?

    Well, this game DOES involve tactics, in that you have to strategically burp and fart at the right times to make your opponent barf, without barfing yourself.

    ....this game will KILL in the seventh-grade boy demographic.

    Edit: Am I the only one amused by the fact that a guy with the handle "food" posted in this thread?

    cloudeagle on
    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I can't help thinking of, as has been said, Ethiopia or some place like that. "Hey! Addis Ababa! Watch this 350-pound manbeast hork up pounds of delicious, nutritious meat product! While farting!"

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • GoodOmensGoodOmens Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that. 70 pounds is, roughly, half of me, a fully grown human. I can't see how another human could consume half of me.

    I'm sure there are pictures on teh Innerweb that could help me visualize that, though.

    GoodOmens on
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  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Food wrote: »
    Bill Swartz, Head Woof at Mastiff, on competitive eaters wrote:
    "They are the people who built America. Or at least the competitive eating part of America."

    :lol:

    Fun Fact: George Washington was the first competitive eating champion of America.

    Zombiemambo on
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  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Zombiemambo wrote: »
    Food wrote: »
    Bill Swartz, Head Woof at Mastiff, on competitive eaters wrote:
    "They are the people who built America. Or at least the competitive eating part of America."

    :lol:

    Fun Fact: George Washington was the first competitive eating champion of America.

    Cherries?

    Ryadic on
    steam_sig.png
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Because I was morbidly curious, I decided to look for competitive eating records and found a few pretty horrifying things (note some are for speed, not for sheer amount):

    http://www.ifoce.com/records.php
    Baked Beans
    Six Pounds Baked Beans
    One Minute, 48 Seconds
    Don Lerman

    Butter
    7 quarter-pound sticks, salted butter
    5 minutes
    Don Lerman

    Chicken Wings, Long form
    182 chicken wings
    30 minutes
    Joey Chestnut

    Corned Beef Hash
    4 pounds of hash
    1 minute 58 seconds
    Eric Booker

    Cow Brains
    57 (17.7 pounds)
    15 minutes
    Takeru Kobayashi

    Hamburgers
    7 Burgers (3/4 pound) "Thickburgers"
    10 minutes
    Sonya Thomas (Note: a chick did this)

    Jalapenos, Pickled, Short-form
    247 pickled jalapeno peppers/State Fair of Texas
    8 minutes/Oct. 8, 2006
    Richard LeFevre

    Mayonnaise
    4 32-ounce bowls mayonnaise
    8 minutes
    Oleg Zhornitskiy

    Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches
    42 PB&J/Drum Corps International
    10 minutes/Aug. 8, 2007
    Patrick Bertoletti

    Edit: And an image for your viewing pleasure.

    bookerkobayashi.jpg

    cloudeagle on
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  • RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Because I was morbidly curious, I decided to look for competitive eating records and found a few pretty horrifying things (note some are for speed, not for sheer amount):

    http://www.ifoce.com/records.php
    Baked Beans
    Six Pounds Baked Beans
    One Minute, 48 Seconds
    Don Lerman

    Butter
    7 quarter-pound sticks, salted butter
    5 minutes
    Don Lerman

    Chicken Wings, Long form
    182 chicken wings
    30 minutes
    Joey Chestnut

    Corned Beef Hash
    4 pounds of hash
    1 minute 58 seconds
    Eric Booker

    Cow Brains
    57 (17.7 pounds)
    15 minutes
    Takeru Kobayashi

    Hamburgers
    7 Burgers (3/4 pound) "Thickburgers"
    10 minutes
    Sonya Thomas (Note: a chick did this)

    Jalapenos, Pickled, Short-form
    247 pickled jalapeno peppers/State Fair of Texas
    8 minutes/Oct. 8, 2006
    Richard LeFevre

    Mayonnaise
    4 32-ounce bowls mayonnaise
    8 minutes
    Oleg Zhornitskiy

    Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches
    42 PB&J/Drum Corps International
    10 minutes/Aug. 8, 2007
    Patrick Bertoletti

    Edit: And an image for your viewing pleasure.

    bookerkobayashi.jpg

    Is this the kind of shit you're gonna be doing in this game? Trying to break this record?

    I'm gonna eat 10 quarter pound sticks of butter... THAT IS MY LIFE GOAL!

    Are these people sick in the head? My stomach is churning just thinking of that stuff.

    -Edit-

    The chick has her own wiki, too.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonya_Thomas

    Ryadic on
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  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Ryadic wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    America gets a good ol' slow clap for that one.

    That's what's great about being an American. We piss people off and when they do shit to us for it, we just piss them off more. "If we don't break this ham eating record, the terrorists win. Do you want that fuckers? Do you want the terrorists to win, goddamn un-American bastards."

    Most people don't want our genetically modified ham.

    SkyGheNe on
  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    SkyGheNe wrote: »
    Ryadic wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    Niceguyeddie616 wrote: »
    I was watching this during the halftime show with a few friends.

    I learned that someone has the world record for eating the most ham, it was about 70 pounds or so.

    I mean, there are people starving in Africa right now, and we have the record for who eats the most ham

    D:

    America gets a good ol' slow clap for that one.

    That's what's great about being an American. We piss people off and when they do shit to us for it, we just piss them off more. "If we don't break this ham eating record, the terrorists win. Do you want that fuckers? Do you want the terrorists to win, goddamn un-American bastards."

    Most people don't want our genetically modified ham.

    Bullshit. No. I refuse to believe someone can eat 70 pounds of ham in one sitting.

    Malkor on
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  • Niceguyeddie616Niceguyeddie616 All you feed me is PUFFINS! I need NOURISHMENT!Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    um, it may have been 45 or 50 pounds, all I know is we're all sitting there watching these guys sitting at a huge table with piles and piles of ham violently stuffing their faces, and these records were coming up for who the record holder was for eating the most ham. It was quite disturbing

    whoops, got the numbers mixed up, it was 7.14 pounds of ham by Joey Chestnut

    edit: so yeah, way less but the fact that someone can eat so much ham is just....wow

    Niceguyeddie616 on
  • cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Want to know what's even more disturbing? Sonya Thomas, who is apparently a huge eating celebrity and will likely be in the game.

    Here are some of the records she holds, according to her site, sonyatheblackwidow.com.
    a. Acme Oysters: 46 dozen (552) in 10 minutes.
    b. Hard-Boiled Eggs:
    (1) 65 in 6' 40 seconds.
    (2) 52 in 5 minutes.
    c. Downtown Atlantic Cheesecake: 11 pounds in 9 minutes.
    d. Maine Lobsters: 11.4 pounds of Lobster meat (44 soft shell lobsters) in 12 minutes.
    e. Buffalo (Chicken) Wings: 5.75 lbs (of meat eaten off the bone) in 10 minutes.
    f. 84 Lumber Baked Beans: 8.4 pounds in 2' 47 seconds.
    g. Zocalo's Tacos (Soft-shell Chickem): 48 in 11 minutes.
    h. Cheese Quaesadillas: 31 1/2 (four-inch size) in 5 minutes.
    i. Phillips Seafood 3-oz Crab Cakes: 46 in 10 minutes.
    j. Lulu's Crawfish Jambalaya: 9 pounds in 10 minutes.

    Now, what sort of demon of a hambeast can do such a thing? Brace yourselves, I have a picture of her in ALL her glory (clothed, don't worry):
    SonyaPinkPeace.jpg

    She's 5'5" and all of 100 lbs.

    Here's some more pictures of this beauty.
    SonyaEyes.jpg

    WingBowlCourtBradleyBowerAP.jpg

    SonyaWBXIIBigPic.jpg

    cloudeagle on
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  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    That sounds a lot more accurate, being that a human being can't possibly eat 70 pounds of food in one sitting, let alone a day or even three days.

    Zombiemambo on
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  • Niceguyeddie616Niceguyeddie616 All you feed me is PUFFINS! I need NOURISHMENT!Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    yeah that didn't sound right, I think I was just dazed by the fact that there's a sport where someone can eat that much ham :lol:

    Niceguyeddie616 on
  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Thats stupid.

    No one can eat fifty eggs in an hour.

    Bloods End on
  • darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I wonder how many of these people are just looking for a free meal.

    darleysam on
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  • GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Baked Beans
    Six Pounds Baked Beans
    One Minute, 48 Seconds
    Don Lerman
    What did they do, stick a funnel in Don's mouth and pour?

    Oh, and found the record book. Let's see some of my "favorites":
    Burritos, Long Form
    11.81 lbs burritos/Costa Vida Fresh Mexican Grill
    10 Minutes/Sep. 22, 2007
    Timothy Janus

    Cabbage
    6 pounds 9 ounces giant cabbage
    9 minutes
    Charles Hardy

    Chicken Nuggets
    80 Chicken Nuggets
    5 Minutes
    Sonya Thomas

    Crawfish
    331 crawfish
    12 minutes
    Chris Hendrix

    Dumplings
    91 Chinese dumplings
    8 minutes
    Cookie Jarvis

    Gelatin Dessert
    7 16-ounce portions
    3 minutes
    Steve Lakind

    Matzo Balls
    21 baseball-sized matzo balls
    5 minutes, 25 seconds
    Eric Booker

    Rice Balls
    20 pounds rice balls
    30 minutes
    Takeru Kobayashi

    Strawberry Shortcake
    15.25 lbs Strawberry Shortcake/Mattituck Lions Club Strawberry Festival
    8 Minutes/June 17, 2007
    Patrick Bertoletti

    Gosling on
    I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    None of these records are things to be proud of.

    Zombiemambo on
    JKKaAGp.png
  • OrogogusOrogogus San DiegoRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    darleysam wrote: »
    I wonder how many of these people are just looking for a free meal.

    Wouldn't there be an entry fee or something?

    I'm given to understand that the competitive players purge after the contest as a matter of course, which I don't really like to think about.

    Orogogus on
  • darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Orogogus wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    I wonder how many of these people are just looking for a free meal.

    Wouldn't there be an entry fee or something?

    I'm given to understand that the competitive players purge after the contest as a matter of course, which I don't really like to think about.

    mrcreosote.gif

    darleysam on
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  • Niceguyeddie616Niceguyeddie616 All you feed me is PUFFINS! I need NOURISHMENT!Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    That fact makes it even more disgusting than previous,

    I remember the announcer saying that they were drinking dipping sauce to make the ham go down smoother. There must have been gallons of that shit on the table because they were fucking guzzling dipping sauce

    I actually wanted to turn it to Tom Petty :(

    Niceguyeddie616 on
  • tachyontachyon Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Sonya Thomas is awesome! When I was stationed at the Pentagon, a buddy and I saw her at the Andrews BX (She worked there at the time) We started bowing to her in the middle of the food court, good thing she had a sense of humor for geek fans willing to get down on their knees in their BDU's in front of 100 people. Well worth it.

    tachyon on
  • ArcibiArcibi Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    That's it

    Somebody stop the humanity train

    I want off

    Arcibi on
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  • Nitsuj82Nitsuj82 Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Why?

    I guess that's really all there is to say.

    Oh, and do they really think they can charge any more than $20 out the gate?

    Nitsuj82 on
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  • Resident0Resident0 Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    She's so freaking THIN! Surely someone that ate so much food would be the size of a small house.

    Seriously I want to see a video of this woman, she sounds terrifying, I would never take her to McDonalds:

    "Yeah i'll have 25 big macs, 90 chicken nuggets, 30 chicken burgers, 2 liters of dipping sauce, and a stopwatch please..."

    How is it not doing irrepairable damage to these peoples stomachs and organs? Her stomach must be like a deflated beach ball to fit all that food into it.

    Resident0 on
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