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Deleted Scenes

graffd02graffd02 Registered User regular
edited February 2008 in Artist's Corner
I'm trying to start a webcomic based on the movies we all know and love. I've created 5 strips so far this week and im looking for input on whether I should continue... Sorry about them being on deviantart I havent had the chance to build a website around them yet. I plan on making 2-3 comics a week. I just would like some input...

http://graffd02.deviantart.com/gallery/#Deleted-Scenes

Deleted Scenes - A Movie Commentary Webcomic by Dave Graff-http://deletedscenescomic.com
graffd02 on

Posts

  • DeeLockDeeLock Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    First of all, you would get a much better response if you post the comics in the thread itself.

    Head over to the rules thread to get the formal explanation for this.

    Personally, I found the comics surprisingly funny.

    The art isn't terrible and that helps a lot.

    Keep at it!

    DeeLock on
  • MaydayMayday Cutting edge goblin tech Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Yes, hello.
    May I interest you in our rules thread?

    I took a quick look and the art looks promising (the jokes- not so much) so as long as you appease the angry mob by following its rules, I'm sure you'll get valuable tips.

    EDIT: DAMNIT DEELOCK! mad.gif

    Mayday on
  • NeoRedXIIINeoRedXIII Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I can enjoy this comic.

    NeoRedXIII on
  • HopperHopper Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I think the content is pretty funny, such as the droid ring / onion ring comparison and how silly the trial by stone is.

    However, your dialogue could use work. A few areas needed better punctuation, and you should avoid using the same words back-to-back, such as in the Vader comic when he says "Well, blah blah" and the psychiatrist responds with "Well, blah blah". Try to cut back on words like 'well', 'oh', 'yeah', when starting sentences. They can definitely be useful, but don't really need to be there most of the time.

    Also, you've committed the most blasphemous act imaginable by using "your" instead of "you're" in the jawa comic. Fix it before the angry mob burns your house down.

    Hopper on
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  • JandaruJandaru New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I like the idea of making the comic itself look like a film strip - but somehow in practice the top and bottom borders of your strip look really ugly to me. Maybe try giving the holes rounded corners like real film stock, or just not making the background white.


    Or this could just be my eyes fucking with me. For the record, I tend to set my browser's default background to grey instead of white (which messes up pages made my lazy web designers...) and prefer not to use ClearType for on-screen fonts (I'm on a mac, so that shit is on by default) because I can see little flashes of colour dancing between the letters while I try to read them...

    Jandaru on
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  • r-jasperr-jasper Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Went to your DA page to read one. I ended up reading all of them. i really enjoyed them. The only problem i had was with the lack of definition that the storm troopers had. i think adding some dark lines around the edges would really help. but art is good and i enjoyed the material.

    r-jasper on
  • srsizzysrsizzy Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    If you improved on the art I would read it every day, and if you practiced on making the jokes more...uhh, I don't know..."poppy". I like the actual jokes, but they aren't written in a way that makes them incredibly enjoyable.

    Also, deviant art is lame.

    srsizzy on
    BRO LET ME GET REAL WITH YOU AND SAY THAT MY FINGERS ARE PREPPED AND HOT LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE SUN TO BRING RADICAL BEATS SO SMOOTH THE SHIT WILL BE MEDICINAL-GRADE TRIPNASTY MAKING ALL BRAINWAVES ROLL ON THE SURFACE OF A BALLS-FEISTY NEURAL RAINBOW CRACKA-LACKIN' YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE HERE-NOW SPACE-TIME SITUATION THAT ALL OF LIFE BE JAMMED UP IN THROUGH THE UNIVERSAL FLOW BEATS
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited February 2008
    Post the actual images/comics here. None of this linking (sitewhoring) nonsense.

    Until next time...

    bomblock.gif

    bombardier on
This discussion has been closed.