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Approaching an attractive stranger

thewildroverthewildrover Registered User regular
edited February 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
Hey everybody, i've got one situation specific to me, but i think any advice given can be appreciated by anyone in similar scenarios

mine goes like this. in the middle of december i went to a local build a bear workshop to make a gift for my baby nephew. there was a girl working there who helped me out and i couldn't help but notice she was incredibly attractive, we flirted a little but then the christmas rush came in and i couldn't manage to get her name let alone her number. oh well i thought to myself

fast forward a few weeks and i'm in the mall wandering with a friend of mine and i pass this very same girl, we both recognized each other but we both had places to be and it was more of a passing "hey! it's you!" moment. to make sure it was even the same girl i looked back and saw her looking back at me smiling, very encouraging.

I have decided that i want to get to know this person and at the very least know her name, if she's not interested then no big deal but i am having trouble thinking of how i could even approach her without it looking awfully creepy. all i know is that she works at the build a bear so i'd have to go there and hope that she's working, and while she's at work i'd have to try to talk to her. the whole thing reeks of creepyness to me but i don't know if it is or if there's a better way out there.

for the record i don't have any huge enfatuation with her or stalking her or anything, i just think she's cute and wouldn't mind getting to know her, if nothing ever happens then it's not a huge deal to me.

any advice?



long story short: cute girl works at build a bear who i want to get to know but unsure how to approach

thewildrover on

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    JeryhnJeryhn Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Unfortunately, it seems the only time you can really approach her without it being creepy is at her job.
    However, you gotta be aware that she's at work, so you can't exactly have a full conversation with her while she's there.

    I'd say just walk in, buy a bear or something so her boss doesn't get mad, and just pop the quick question of whether or not she'd like to go out for coffee or something when she's off work. Lunch break meetings kinda suck, and don't go into a lengthy discussion of why you'd like to get to know her. If she says yes, it'll be a start, if no, no skin off your teeth - you can just enjoy the eye candy next time you're at the mall.

    Jeryhn on
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    Metal Gear Solid 2 DemoMetal Gear Solid 2 Demo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Jeryhn wrote: »
    Unfortunately, it seems the only time you can really approach her without it being creepy is at her job.
    However, you gotta be aware that she's at work, so you can't exactly have a full conversation with her while she's there.

    I'd say just walk in, buy a bear or something so her boss doesn't get mad, and just pop the quick question of whether or not she'd like to go out for coffee or something when she's off work. Lunch break meetings kinda suck, and don't go into a lengthy discussion of why you'd like to get to know her. If she says yes, it'll be a start, if no, no skin off your teeth - you can just enjoy the eye candy next time you're at the mall.

    That's pretty much what I was going to say. Be casual, smile, and just be nice. It sounds like you two are not just at some random 'smile to be nice' stage

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    starmanbrandstarmanbrand Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    The only way to make this really work is to smile like Kevin, is Prosthetics's avatar.

    For serious.

    But I don't know if I would buy a bear. maybe just pop in really quick and ask if she'd like to out after she gets off. That way you wont be stuck with some stupid bear. You two obviously recognize each other, so it shouldn't appear like some sort of kamikaze date troll.

    starmanbrand on
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    KingAgamemnonKingAgamemnon Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Nah, buy the bear, then you have a built in conversation starter if you meet somewhere, maybe even give it to her at some later point (maybe, depending how much she digs you, if she digs you).

    KingAgamemnon on
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    SeldomSeldom Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    valentines day is coming up, find a couple of mates and go to the build a bear shop.
    they can build a bear for their valentines day presents or something, you can chat to the shop attendant while they do that.


    just a thought, if she doesn't seem to keen or something, just go back to chatting with your mates and building their bear. it might seem too contrived, i dunno.

    Seldom on
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    MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    The best way to approach a girl you don't know that well is to make it as nonthreatening and as relaxed as possible. Just go with a "Hey, do you wanna grab some food sometime?" followed by getting her number and getting out of the workplace - not a big deal.

    MegaMan001 on
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    TopiaTopia Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    The best way to approach a girl you don't know that well is to make it as nonthreatening and as relaxed as possible. Just go with a "Hey, do you wanna grab some food sometime?" followed by getting her number and getting out of the workplace - not a big deal.

    Easiest way to go out with a girl is to ask her out. Simply like he said. If she has any interest with you at all, as a friend or otherwise, she will 95% of the time say yes. If she says no, she's probably a stupid bitch anyway. Well, or has a boyfriend. I guess that happens sometimes too. The girl wants to get to know you as well as you want to get to know her if she displayed interest like you mention. So just go in there and be like "Hey, I wanted to ask you the other day, but then it got busy..." to throw in an excuse for why it's been so long. (or however long it's been)

    Topia on
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    DaemonionDaemonion Mountain Man USARegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    She works at the mall? Great. Ask her what she's doing for her lunch break and if she wants to grab something at the food court with you, and maybe schedule something for later that night/later in the week.

    If she's doing double-takes, I would take that as a pretty good sign that she wouldn't be creeped out.

    Daemonion on
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    corcorigancorcorigan Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    There's a book called "The Game" or something about how to impress and pull women easily. My (female) flatmates read it and went through a stage of thinking every time a man spoke to them politely he was trying to get them into bed. It was amusing.

    corcorigan on
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Seldom wrote: »
    valentines day is coming up, find a couple of mates and go to the build a bear shop.
    they can build a bear for their valentines day presents or something, you can chat to the shop attendant while they do that.

    just a thought, if she doesn't seem to keen or something, just go back to chatting with your mates and building their bear. it might seem too contrived, i dunno.

    Having a back-up (bear-up?) plan is always good, in case she was just being friendly. Also if you keep buying bears, she'll think you've got like 20 kids.

    MichaelLC on
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    ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    Find another attractive girl and make sure not to miss the boat again.

    ViolentChemistry on
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    GordoparaGordopara Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    no no no, those guys are all wrong, their plans are way too subtle. You need to go big or go home! If you don't eng up in there with a dozen roses and a wedding ring, then obviously you don't like this girl enough to approach her in a non-threating way!

    Seriously just do what everone above has said! But be casual, there is thin line between the I was in with a nephew or something getting a bear and a "I drop in every day trying to see you, where do you live by the way?"

    Gordopara on
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    DocDoc Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2008
    only reading the OP:

    go give her your number

    It's actually pretty easy once you do it a couple of times.

    Doc on
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    cogellcogell Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Out of curiosity, where do you live? I ask because I work at Build a bear, and in the slim chance she works at the same store I do, I could totally hook you up.

    Anyways, buying clothes is going to be much cheaper than buying a bear every time. Also, they take up less space, so if you keep going in there to see her and keep buying clothes, you're not going to fill up your home as quickly.

    I second the lunch break idea. Ask her when she goes on break, then set up another date there if you want. If she's looking back at you when you pass each other, there's definitely some interest there.

    cogell on
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    jotatejotate Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I saw a cute girl in the student center back at school last year and got a sudden in flux of balls for an inexplicable reason. I just went up to her and said "Hey, this is weird because we've never talked or met, but do you want to get some coffee sometime?" She was really polite and said that she was really busy, then not so subtly mentioned that her boyfriend was going to be in town that weekend. I laughed and said it was all good. Then I walked away. It was actually pretty painless.

    I haven't, however, regained the testicular fortitude to do it since. Not sure wtf was going on that day. :|

    Anyway, this OP was a week ago. Is there any update on this?

    jotate on
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