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Life's like that. Or how i masturbated to 3d hentai and got caught.

24567

Posts

  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    Mathilda wrote: »
    Geez, so yes I was wanking myself silly to some 3d anime shit and when right after I came I looked over my shoulder and lo and behold my neighbours was having a lil' peek a boo at my bloody expense through the window.

    It's embarassing. IT. IS. EMBARASSING.

    So I beg of you, please tell me stories of you getting caught while you were touching yourself and how you got over it.

    It will really help me feel less embarassed right now.
    So, you basically just wanted to tell us that you whack it to 3d hentai?

    Good for you, I guess.

    I mean, at least we maybe get some fodder out of it. But what to you get? To later "admit" that you were totally just joking all along?

    You don't understand, it wasn't him wacking it to 3D hentai, it was his larp character.
    <3

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    bent wrote: »
    my parents bought me a hentai book for my 16th birthday

    it was pretty funny

    ..knowingly?

    yep, they thought it would be funny because I was watching a lot of miyazaki films around then and, in my dads words, 'was probably into this sort of thing'

    "We want you to know we support you and your lifestyle choices."

    Centipede Damascus on
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    bent wrote: »
    my parents bought me a hentai book for my 16th birthday

    it was pretty funny

    ..knowingly?

    yep, they thought it would be funny because I was watching a lot of miyazaki films around then and, in my dads words, 'was probably into this sort of thing'

    "We want you to know we support you and your lifestyle choices."

    Better than the alternative, I guess.

    "Ain't no son of mine gonna be no goddamn weeaboo! Now you get out there and you play some goddamn football!"

    Poorochondriac on
  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? the foot of mt fujiRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    bent wrote: »
    my parents bought me a hentai book for my 16th birthday

    it was pretty funny

    ..knowingly?

    yep, they thought it would be funny because I was watching a lot of miyazaki films around then and, in my dads words, 'was probably into this sort of thing'

    "We want you to know we support you and your lifestyle choices."

    "But none of that 'furry' shit. I will not have a two-dicked dolphin for a son."

    Olivaw on
    signature-deffo.jpg
    PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    bent wrote: »
    my parents bought me a hentai book for my 16th birthday

    it was pretty funny

    ..knowingly?

    yep, they thought it would be funny because I was watching a lot of miyazaki films around then and, in my dads words, 'was probably into this sort of thing'

    your dad is awesome

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • <3<3 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    well, wouldn't masturbating be larping in the first place? Cause it's you pretending to fuck some girl, except it's your hand. you know.

    That's pretty meta.

    <3 on
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    my girlfriend surprised me with a visit one afternoon

    luckily I had her facebook minimized, so I brought that up lickity-split in a motion that seemed to be trying to hide it

    Skull Man on
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    3d hentai?


    really?

    Don't you get to that point afterwards and just despair?

    BoredGamer on
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Skull Man wrote: »
    my girlfriend surprised me with a visit one afternoon

    luckily I had her facebook minimized, so I brought that up lickity-split in a motion that seemed to be trying to hide it

    wait, you were jackin' to her facebook?

    Bad-Beat on
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Bad-Beat wrote: »
    Skull Man wrote: »
    my girlfriend surprised me with a visit one afternoon

    luckily I had her facebook minimized, so I brought that up lickity-split in a motion that seemed to be trying to hide it

    wait, you were jackin' to her facebook?

    no, to vida guerra actually--my kryptonite

    but a quick alt-f4 made it seem as though I was jacking it to pictures of her

    which was acceptable

    Skull Man on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Bad-Beat wrote: »
    Skull Man wrote: »
    my girlfriend surprised me with a visit one afternoon

    luckily I had her facebook minimized, so I brought that up lickity-split in a motion that seemed to be trying to hide it

    wait, you were jackin' to her facebook?

    "Look at how many friends she has. unf unf unf. And wow, look at all her useless apps."

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    In the end you always have a decision. The door is opening.....

    Do you....


    A) Hide the porn?
    B)Hide your boner?

    DECIDE!

    BoredGamer on
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Skull Man wrote: »
    Bad-Beat wrote: »
    Skull Man wrote: »
    my girlfriend surprised me with a visit one afternoon

    luckily I had her facebook minimized, so I brought that up lickity-split in a motion that seemed to be trying to hide it

    wait, you were jackin' to her facebook?

    no, to vida guerra actually--my kryptonite

    but a quick alt-f4 made it seem as though I was jacking it to pictures of her

    which was acceptable

    So she just sat down and watched you finish?

    Bad-Beat on
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    it was french hentai too, oddly enough

    with the story of Rosalie, the intergalactic space reporter who had a long frustrating day and ended up masturbating in front of the entire galaxy

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Bad-Beat wrote: »
    Skull Man wrote: »
    Bad-Beat wrote: »
    Skull Man wrote: »
    my girlfriend surprised me with a visit one afternoon

    luckily I had her facebook minimized, so I brought that up lickity-split in a motion that seemed to be trying to hide it

    wait, you were jackin' to her facebook?

    no, to vida guerra actually--my kryptonite

    but a quick alt-f4 made it seem as though I was jacking it to pictures of her

    which was acceptable

    So she just sat down and watched you finish?

    man do I have to draw you a picture

    Skull Man on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It's Skull Man, she obviously finished him off and then baked him a pie.

    NotASenator on
  • VorusVorus Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    it was french hentai too, oddly enough

    with the story of Rosalie, the intergalactic space reporter who had a long frustrating day and ended up masturbating in front of the entire galaxy

    you give off an impression of oddly specific tastes, apparently

    Vorus on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    It's Skull Man, she obviously finished him off and then baked him a pie.

    Then had him buy her cigarettes

    Poorochondriac on
  • M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    It's Skull Man, she obviously finished him off and then baked him a pie.

    I hope it was a good pie.

    M.D. on
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    She sat on it.

    DUH.

    BoredGamer on
  • bentbent Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Vorus wrote: »
    bent wrote: »
    it was french hentai too, oddly enough

    with the story of Rosalie, the intergalactic space reporter who had a long frustrating day and ended up masturbating in front of the entire galaxy

    you give off an impression of oddly specific tastes, apparently

    I do exude an aura of sorts

    bent on
    sig1.png
  • Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    It's Skull Man, she obviously finished him off and then baked him a pie.

    wait, no

    that ain't what I meant

    it was really awkward but not as bad as it would have been if it were another chick

    I'm apparently not a very attractive masturbator

    who knew

    Skull Man on
  • sdrawkcaB emaNsdrawkcaB emaN regular
    edited March 2008
    Skull Man wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    It's Skull Man, she obviously finished him off and then baked him a pie.

    wait, no

    that ain't what I meant

    it was really awkward but not as bad as it would have been if it were another chick

    I'm apparently not a very attractive masturbator

    who knew

    I don't think anyone's an attractive masturbator unless they are making the conscious effort.

    I hunch over my boner like some craven jerk-fiend

    sdrawkcaB emaN on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    and what a magnificant boner it is.

    NotASenator on
  • ColdbrandColdbrand Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    uh, most ladies tend to be pretty attractive masturbators to me

    Coldbrand on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    uh, most ladies tend to be pretty attractive masturbators to me

    umm, fatties, old people, fatties, your mom, fatties

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    Coldbrand wrote: »
    uh, most ladies tend to be pretty attractive masturbators to me

    umm, fatties, old people, fatties, your mom, fatties

    fat old moms

    NotASenator on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    ewwwww. you would think all the negatives cancel each other out, but nooooo

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Two wrongs make it worse.

    Bad-Beat on
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Vorus wrote: »
    bent wrote: »
    it was french hentai too, oddly enough

    with the story of Rosalie, the intergalactic space reporter who had a long frustrating day and ended up masturbating in front of the entire galaxy

    you give off an impression of oddly specific tastes, apparently

    I'd watch that

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    hey at least they caught you jerking it to porn and not your well worn copy of dead or alive beach volleyball

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
  • SageinaRageSageinaRage Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    At least you weren't looking at chicks mashing around birthday cakes under their bottoms.

    SageinaRage on
    sig.gif
  • StraythStrayth Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    PUT ON YOUR 3D GLASSES NOW!

    Oh Jesus Christ hahahahaha

    hahahahahahahaha

    I've been caught having sex before, but it was more of a "come back in 4 and a half minutes" thing. I mean "twenty minutes" thing.

    Strayth on
    That's right.
  • ScudoScudo Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Scudo wrote: »
    all my porn is embedded in those optical illusions where you have to stare real hard and kind of let your eyes not focus to see the hidden picture

    sometimes I'll be halfway there before I realize it's a sailboat

    And just like that, I have a new sig

    this is going on my resume

    Scudo on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    bent wrote: »
    PUT ON YOUR 3D GLASSES NOW!

    PPUUTT OONN YYOOUURR 33DD GGLLAASSSSEESS NNOOWW!!

    NotASenator on
  • AslanAslan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I was masturbating to a nice set of a girl in a riding outfit complete with crop when my dad walked in to tell me dinner was ready. Awkward.

    Aslan on
    Captain_Renault.gif I'm shocked...shocked, to find faggotry in this thread.
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    ahaha that was fucking amazing scud0

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I've always wondered what sort of person found computer-generated porn to be arousing, rather than lifeless, dull, and pathetic.

    Now I know. The kind that jerks it front of an open window, and acts surprised when somebody sees.

    GODDAMN

    Harsh

    Anyway, I don't know, I don't see the difference, really. An erotic image or animation created by an artist as opposed to film of actual sex? It's really not that far off, I think. Is all CG porn really bad or something?

    Defender on
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It's like jerking off to pictures of a RealDoll.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • skinny87skinny87 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Defender wrote: »
    I've always wondered what sort of person found computer-generated porn to be arousing, rather than lifeless, dull, and pathetic.

    Now I know. The kind that jerks it front of an open window, and acts surprised when somebody sees.

    GODDAMN

    Harsh

    Anyway, I don't know, I don't see the difference, really. An erotic image or animation created by an artist as opposed to film of actual sex? It's really not that far off, I think. Is all CG porn really bad or something?

    I guess to me it's akin to jerking off to barbies or somesuch. All completely fake, no real skin or anything.

    skinny87 on
This discussion has been closed.