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Book sketches, please crit

jibjibjibjib Registered User regular
edited March 2008 in Artist's Corner
One of my typography assignments is to illustrate a poem or song. I chose King of Carrot Flowers part 1, and here are the sketches and layout i have so far. Any thoughts/suggestions?

kingofcarrotflowersfrontmoc.jpg


kingofcarrotflowersbackmock.jpg

jibjib on

Posts

  • MaydayMayday Cutting edge goblin tech Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    IMG tags please, you're not jailed.

    Mayday on
  • TamTam Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    For future reference, please just post the images directly rather than linking them.

    The pieces themselves are really great. They're very well composed and I love the style.

    Tam on
  • icebergiceberg Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Those drawings are fantastic. The hand rendered type is alright, nothing stellar. You should definitely go back and darken it to the amount the drawings are. The cover type? Horrible. Why didn't you hand render it like the type inside? That font is horrible.

    iceberg on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The illustrations are tremendous! I don't like how they're layed out on the page, you could have used the type in a more interesting way that would have also balanced out the illustrations.

    MagicToaster on
  • jibjibjibjib Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    iceberg wrote: »
    Those drawings are fantastic. The hand rendered type is alright, nothing stellar. You should definitely go back and darken it to the amount the drawings are. The cover type? Horrible. Why didn't you hand render it like the type inside? That font is horrible.


    I didn't have any samples on hand when i did the general layout. They will obviously be hand-done when i do the final. This is just a sloppy mock-up that I will trace onto good paper with ink. The main function of this stage is to get the layout right.

    On that note, how can i improve the composition?

    *Edit- Here's an alternative to the type layout. thoughts?
    kingofcarrotflowersfrontmoc2.jpg

    jibjib on
  • GreatnationGreatnation Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I'd consider just making the type a bit bigger, its a little small to read and is totally overshadowed by the sick drawings.

    Greatnation on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2008
    A couple points - first of all, I'm not sure how this is a typography exercise. It's a great looking book-making exercise, but I always think of typography as designing type, not page layout.

    If this is indeed a typography exercise, I'd tighten up your script and I'd hand-letter the title page. That font (Lucida Calligraphy, right?) is dull and has all sorts of issues with the ways it connects to adjoining letters, spacing, kerning, ugh. It's plain and looks like it was done in MS Word. If you still want to do it in a script face, there are a number of much better typestyles out there.

    I'd also look at how you are doing your hand lettering. I love the drawings you're doing, but I don't see how the type relates to the character your linework has in your illustrations - I'd play with breaking out of the cursive type and developing a typestyle you can hand-letter that evokes the same wandering, detailed lines of your sketches.

    Also, frame and line your type blocks, give yourself lines to work within and on, with even spacing or even staggered spacing with certain words drawn larger to provide emphasis. I like what you've got right now, but it seems like you're paying a lot more attention to the drawing aspect than the typography.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    gorgeous style
    i really like these
    i have no crits

    beavotron on
  • supabeastsupabeast Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    The illustrations are doing all of the work, the typography none. Put the illustration away for now and work on making the letters more than just a few paragraphs tacked onto some good drawings.

    supabeast on
  • misosoupmisosoup Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    neutral milk hotel? me likes

    misosoup on
    APTBSsig.jpg
  • Mr DaveMr Dave Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    yeah truly great
    especially the girl facing upwards with stuff coming from her mouth

    Mr Dave on
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