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Politeness and Small Talk
CommunistCow
Abstract MetalThingyRegistered User regular
Abstract MetalThingyRegistered User regular
So I was wondering what everyones take was on politeness and small talk in our(western) society.
To me it seems like most daily interactions with acquaintances and random people around town, the office, or school are superficial and insincere. How often do you ask someone "How are you?" or "Whats up?" and expect or care for a real response? Most of the time it seems like these comments and interactions are meant as unnecessary pleasantries. Has anyone ever noticed that if you respond to "How are you?" with anything other than "good" or "great" the other person seems uncomfortable or doesn't care? The same thing goes for small talk. It just seems to be designed to fill the void of silence and avoid any sort of awkwardness.
Of course these sort of phrases and interactions with people you know better are completely different, but I do not care to discuss most of those cases for what I hope are obvious reasons.
I've noticed, in southern places like Texas, people are very nice, polite, and friendly but it seems mostly to be insincere. On a side note I think most of these people would turn to utter hatred if you let them know that you were of a vastly different religion(atheism) or political party. It seems to be the opposite on the east coast where people are not as 'friendly'. What would you prefer, the insincere niceness or honest apathy? That might be a false dichotomy / strawman, but you get the gist of the question.
Similarly with friends, if I am cooking dinner I want honest opinions on the food I make so the next time I spend 2 hours cooking I make something better. I don't need an ego boost or validation from hollow praise. In a less familiar setting, I would thank someone for cooking even if I didn't like the meal, but I wouldn't go as far as (white) lying about the quality.
Are these things necessary for society to function properly or are they just unnecessary vestiges to keep people from feeling awkward? How do you guys handle these situations?
I would venture to guess that these are necessary despite the disingeniousness of it.
To me it seems like most daily interactions with acquaintances and random people around town, the office, or school are superficial and insincere. How often do you ask someone "How are you?" or "Whats up?" and expect or care for a real response? Most of the time it seems like these comments and interactions are meant as unnecessary pleasantries. Has anyone ever noticed that if you respond to "How are you?" with anything other than "good" or "great" the other person seems uncomfortable or doesn't care? The same thing goes for small talk. It just seems to be designed to fill the void of silence and avoid any sort of awkwardness.
Of course these sort of phrases and interactions with people you know better are completely different, but I do not care to discuss most of those cases for what I hope are obvious reasons.
I've noticed, in southern places like Texas, people are very nice, polite, and friendly but it seems mostly to be insincere. On a side note I think most of these people would turn to utter hatred if you let them know that you were of a vastly different religion(atheism) or political party. It seems to be the opposite on the east coast where people are not as 'friendly'. What would you prefer, the insincere niceness or honest apathy? That might be a false dichotomy / strawman, but you get the gist of the question.
Similarly with friends, if I am cooking dinner I want honest opinions on the food I make so the next time I spend 2 hours cooking I make something better. I don't need an ego boost or validation from hollow praise. In a less familiar setting, I would thank someone for cooking even if I didn't like the meal, but I wouldn't go as far as (white) lying about the quality.
Are these things necessary for society to function properly or are they just unnecessary vestiges to keep people from feeling awkward? How do you guys handle these situations?
I would venture to guess that these are necessary despite the disingeniousness of it.
No, I am not really communist. Yes, it is weird that I use this name.
CommunistCow on
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But the sort of small talk you get into with barely-acquaintances where you prattle on about the weather and "how are your kids" and whatnot, yeah, fuck that. I'd rather sit in silence then to mutually feign interest in each others' lives.
Actually, all of that should be limed, but it's the latter part that I was coming here to post. It's not my fault that other people are uncomfortable being alone with their own thoughts.
The only small talk I will get into with random people around the office has to do with how a primary went the other night or some generic political talk. I'm not sure that would be classified as small talk, but I think it could be because of the context.
Where do I look where do I look I guess I'll pretend to check my text messages aughhh
Sometimes to amuse myself I stand in the elevator facing the back wall instead of the doors. Extra points if the elevator has a lot of people and your back is almost up against the doors.
I try to make small-talk about elevator safety. Only in hydraulic elevators, though. Wouldn't want to invoke the wrath of some unknown smartass diety.
If you do this with more than one person, a lot of the time the other people in the elevator turn to face the back too.
It is a common psychology / sociology experiment.
Edit: On another note, what would our society look like if we stopped with the pleasantries and small talk? Would it collapse in on itself and cause armageddon?