'ello fish.

buckarf

Ok, so I got out of a relationship about 4 months ago. My then SO and I dated just a bit over a year. We had an LDR for the latter part of the relationship and it just wasn't working for him, he needed to find himself, ect. In any case, we didn't make it. With this past relationship, I learned to be REALLY independent as far as emotions go. We were really good friends, and it was unlike any other relationship I've ever been in. Our friendship came first and foremost, and relationship related stuff came in somewhere between second and last. So, I think that relationship sort of, well....changed me. Now that I'm trying to get back into the dating scene, I find myself BEFRIENDING guys, and not really seeing any potential relationshipwise. Not to say that I haven't met any guys with great boyfriend qualities, but I just can't get past the friend zone. I've dated some, and found some nice guys, but I just can't see them as anything else, aside from people to hang out with occasionally.

Even the guys I've met on dating sites and such with SPECIFIC intentions of getting involved in long-term relationships wind up as just buddies.

It's as if, I just file them away in my "friends only" filing cabinet, and leave it be. I think it might have to do with the way I acted towards guys whilst in my ex-ldr, but I'm not sure. I just wanted to know if anyone out there in PA has any recommendations as to how to overcome this hurdle.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you much!

Soviet Waffle

Hmm, well, this is interesting. Most nerds I run into (At least male nerds) have the exact opposite problem, of keeping girls in the friend zone. Hmm, it seems like you just have to wait it out and hope you run into a guy that sparks whatever sparked your other relationships, or force yourself to date and and stay in relationships, though the latter seems like it'd just lead to trouble.

Interesting though.

MoSiAc

Yeah I think you just have to play the patience game. Maybe hang out with your friends and not try looking for a relationship (I know, I know its said all the time) and you would be amazed what might end up finding you. It worked for me.

Grundlterror

I had the similar kind of situation and the thing for me was I wasn't over my ex yet. It just takes time, if thats the case.

buckarf

Thank you so much

I do think I have to devote myself to that patience game. It's not like I have too much time to commit myself to someone, anyway. It's just something that I guess has been bothering me, because I've never really had trouble with this kind of situation before.

I find myself talking to a lot of guys, but they kind of....bore me? after just a few conversations. I feel a bit apathetic towards holding any kind of relationship-type acquaintance with them.

Anywhoser, thank you much, again.

Deusfaux

I just want to know what's up with a girl admitting or suggesing she has a friend ladd- sorry, friend zon-, sorry friend-filing cabinet.

Normally we are instructed in H/A not to validate those types of dangerous ideas.



Why are you hung up on this idea you need to be seeing these guys as something more? You never say in your OP that you WANT to be in a relationship right now - so if you're just not feeling it with anyone, isn't that perfectly okay as is?