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Girls At Church?

tehfalconertehfalconer moonrocksin my noseRegistered User regular
edited April 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
So I've recently switched churches (I'm Catholic if it matters...) and I've noticed a lot of cute girls go to mass at this new church. I know it seems like a pretty sleazy thing to do, but how does one go about "hitting" on girls who you meet at church? Can one even go after girls after mass or is it one of those "off-limits no matter what" places? It seems like after the mass is the most opportune time to talk, but most people leave in a hurry. I've thought about this subject for a while and I can't think much to do. All I can think of is trying to sit near a cute girl during mass a few times, try to get noticed, and afterwards try a simple introduction and/or a corny joke ("come here often?" etc.) after mass. Is there a better approach or is this just a hopeless endeavor like the infamous "roommate switch" (note: watch Seinfeld to get that last gag)?

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Posts

  • LewishamLewisham Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Why is it sleazy? Asking a girl out for coffee or a drink is the same wherever you are. "Hey, my name is [name]. I'm new here. Would you like to go for coffee some time and hang out?"

    Most of the people there are married anyway, so hitting on girls is not exactly taboo.

    Lewisham on
  • CryogenCryogen Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Eh? Its not sleazy at all. I mean hey, you've already got your beliefs in common, which is potentially quite a big deal for many people. Just start up a conversation and take it from there.

    I'd even go so far as to say its perhaps one of the better places to meet a girl if religion is fairly important to you (which i'm guessing it is if you attend church weekly).

    Cryogen on
  • VThornheartVThornheart Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Aye, I think a *lot* more people than you may realize meet at church. It's kind of like meeting at a school club/group: you know you at least have one thing in common, and that's a great start.

    VThornheart on
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  • vonPoonBurGervonPoonBurGer Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Does the new church run any groups, clubs or activities? If so, that might be a better place to introduce yourself, as opposed to trying to swoop in right after mass. The whole social situation at mass (you go, you participate in the mass, you listen to the sermon, you take communion, you shake hands with people, you leave) really isn't very conducive to getting to know anyone, which would make it tough to find a way to break the ice. Most catholic churches I've been to have had some kind of social element that's coordinated through the church, but outside the hours of 11am to 12pm on Sunday. Check to see what this new church is doing in the department. A lot of couples meet through their church, so I'd hardly call what your trying to do taboo.

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  • VThornheartVThornheart Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Does the new church run any groups, clubs or activities? If so, that might be a better place to introduce yourself, as opposed to trying to swoop in right after mass. The whole social situation at mass (you go, you participate in the mass, you listen to the sermon, you take communion, you shake hands with people, you leave) really isn't very conducive to getting to know anyone, which would make it tough to find a way to break the ice. Most catholic churches I've been to have had some kind of social element that's coordinated through the church, but outside the hours of 11am to 12pm on Sunday. Check to see what this new church is doing in the department. A lot of couples meet through their church, so I'd hardly call what your trying to do taboo.

    Ah! He has a good point. Getting involved in an activity would be the best way. My parents met at a Catholic Youth singing group (most Catholic churches since the first Vatican council have a "youth" (youth being high school and - sometimes - college students) group that sings the songs for at least one mass), they've been together extremely happily for almost 30 years now. I'm not Catholic anymore and I already have a wife, but I'd recommend it to anyone still of the religion to sign up for the singing group.

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  • KatholicKatholic Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    So I've recently switched churches (I'm Catholic if it matters...) and I've noticed a lot of cute girls go to mass at this new church. I know it seems like a pretty sleazy thing to do, but how does one go about "hitting" on girls who you meet at church? Can one even go after girls after mass or is it one of those "off-limits no matter what" places? It seems like after the mass is the most opportune time to talk, but most people leave in a hurry. I've thought about this subject for a while and I can't think much to do. All I can think of is trying to sit near a cute girl during mass a few times, try to get noticed, and afterwards try a simple introduction and/or a corny joke ("come here often?" etc.) after mass. Is there a better approach or is this just a hopeless endeavor like the infamous "roommate switch" (note: watch Seinfeld to get that last gag)?

    I am Catholic also, so I know what you mean :winky:. If you are the right age...youth group is a great place to meet cute girls who have similar beliefs to you.

    Katholic on
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    So I've recently switched churches (I'm Catholic if it matters...) and I've noticed a lot of cute girls go to mass at this new church. I know it seems like a pretty sleazy thing to do, but how does one go about "hitting" on girls who you meet at church? Can one even go after girls after mass or is it one of those "off-limits no matter what" places? It seems like after the mass is the most opportune time to talk, but most people leave in a hurry. I've thought about this subject for a while and I can't think much to do. All I can think of is trying to sit near a cute girl during mass a few times, try to get noticed, and afterwards try a simple introduction and/or a corny joke ("come here often?" etc.) after mass.

    Not Catholic, but people you meet from church or related activities are definitely not off limits. Another matter but a good number of people in my church are married, engaged to, or involved in long term relationships with people from church.

    Assuming they're not leaving before you can even say a sentence, the same stuff you do to make friends and meet people outside still apply. Just instead of sitting down near someone in class and mentioning something interesting related to the subject to start a conversation, you're mentioning something from a sermon, testimony, verse, etc. that struck you.

    Getting involved in the various activities is also very solid advice.

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  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    also, don't try to pretend to be super-highly-religious to impress one of them if you're not actually super highly religious

    not every catholic girl is a "omg must remain pure" type

    Dhalphir on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Church is pretty much a default "find a mate" place for a LOT of people.

    My own father, a strident atheist, has made it known that, if my mother died, he'd be off to the church looking for a replacement. :|

    Incenjucar on
  • kaliyamakaliyama Left to find less-moderated fora Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    One of the church's primary and time-tested functions is to be a dating service..

    kaliyama on
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  • Ado-sanAdo-san Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I can see absolutely nothing wrong with meeting a nice girl at church. Might be something wrong with going to church for the sole purpose of meeting girls tho :P

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  • LewieP's MummyLewieP's Mummy Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    And you don't have the "Oh, I only date Christians" issue, as presumably you are. Go for it!

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  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    What? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

    For the vast majority of Christians in the world, the whole point of church is social gathering. Picking up women isn't forbidden, it's encouraged in most churches.

    Thanatos on
  • saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    And if your new church is anything like my church, people will bend over backwards to try and get you to hook up with someone they think is "really nice".

    saint2e on
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  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    saint2e wrote: »
    And if your new church is anything like my church, people will bend over backwards to try and get you to hook up with someone they think is "really nice".

    who is probably also a total demon in the sack

    Dhalphir on
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited March 2008
    Church is awesome for meeting people.

    Unknown User on
  • GihgehlsGihgehls Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    This thread has me rolling with glee and I don't know why.

    Gihgehls on
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  • KatholicKatholic Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Gihgehls wrote: »
    This thread has me rolling with glee and I don't know why.

    2 words....Catholic Schoolgirl

    Katholic on
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Thanatos wrote: »
    What? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

    For the vast majority of Christians in the world, the whole point of church is social gathering. Picking up women isn't forbidden, it's encouraged in most churches.

    Hell, half the churches I've been to have "singles" Bible-study groups. I've always gotten the impression that the study of God's word is not the primary function of these groups.

    mcdermott on
  • tehfalconertehfalconer moonrocks in my noseRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Thanks for the help so far. But is there any good way of picking up chicks who don't go to the church social groups and only come for mass? I'm in a college town and I know that many of the people who attend the church just don't have the time to join any of the singles/social/choir/etc. groups.

    tehfalconer on
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  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    It'd certainly be nice for me to join in on the mingling, but unlike the OP, I'm not exactly religious and I'd feel like I was being misleading.

    Of course, if I separately decided at some point that I'd like to go to Church because I was genuinely curious about the sermons, and since I'm not a strict atheist, that would then be a good time to meet the women.

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  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Dhalphir wrote: »
    saint2e wrote: »
    And if your new church is anything like my church, people will bend over backwards to try and get you to hook up with someone they think is "really nice".

    who is probably also a total demon in the sack

    He did use the phrase "bend over backwards."

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  • splashsplash Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    ("come here often?" etc.) after mass.

    hyuk hyuk hyuk :rotate:

    Doesn't sound bad, they might find it cute if you've already introduced yourself and you're grasping for something else to say

    splash on
  • Black IceBlack Ice Charlotte, NCRegistered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Katholic wrote: »
    Gihgehls wrote: »
    This thread has me rolling with glee and I don't know why.

    2 words....Catholic Schoolgirl

    1000x overrated. Trust me.

    And just in case the OP took it literally - don't just walk up to a girl and in the same sentence you say hello, ask her out. Make some small talk first ;)

    Black Ice on
  • falsedeffalsedef Registered User regular
    edited April 2008
    Thanatos wrote: »
    What? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

    For the vast majority of Christians in the world, the whole point of church is social gathering.
    Even nonbelievers can end up meeting each other at church. I'm being serious too.

    Oh church, you're just like cupid.

    falsedef on
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