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Girl likes me, I don't like her, things get creepy
heretoinform
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So I was at an event recently. This girl I really like (Sarah, lets say) is hanging out with me, and everything is going well. Then one of Sarah's friends comes over with a laptop, and she suggests that we all watch a movie together, right there. I whip out my Zen, hook it up to her laptop, and put Hot Fuzz on it (Sarah loves it, and I get to cuddle a bit as well! thumbs up for that).
Fast forward two days. I receive a friend request from this girl (Amy? sure, why not) on myspace. I accept, mainly because I don't want to be a douche. She then messages me and asks for my AIM. I also give that to her, for the same exact reason.
That night Amy messages me on AIM, but I am away from the computer (I even set my status to "away"). She then procedes to message me three times in a row, roughly every ten minutes, just asking whats up. The fourth time she messages me, she asks me if I even want to talk to her at all.
I come back around twenty minutes after the last message, and I respond with "hey, sorry i was gone, i was really busy." No response from Amy.
The next five days, she messages me each day on myspace. I don't respond to any of them, hoping that she would get the hint that I am not interested in her as a girlfriend (or as anything, for that matter).
Then the freaky shit starts up.
First, she sends me a text message. How she got my phone number, I'm not too sure. The only person she knows who knows my number is Sarah, so I assume that is how she got it, but it still freaks me out a bit. I ignore the first message (just saying whats up, of course). The next day she texts me, telling me to look at her "my photos" on her myspace. I do, and of course it gets even weirder.
Amy took something and cut my name into her leg. I mean, there wasn't blood everywhere, but you could definitely see that she marked my name onto her leg. I'm a bit shocked from all of this. I purposely tried to be cold and slightly rude online (and in real life) with her, but she doesn't seem to get the hint that I'm not interested, on top of the fact that she is, you know, fucking psycho.
So how should I proceed with all this?
PS I talked to Sarah about her giving my number to Amy, and Sarah said that Amy told her I gave Amy my number, but she lost it, so she needed it again.
Fast forward two days. I receive a friend request from this girl (Amy? sure, why not) on myspace. I accept, mainly because I don't want to be a douche. She then messages me and asks for my AIM. I also give that to her, for the same exact reason.
That night Amy messages me on AIM, but I am away from the computer (I even set my status to "away"). She then procedes to message me three times in a row, roughly every ten minutes, just asking whats up. The fourth time she messages me, she asks me if I even want to talk to her at all.
I come back around twenty minutes after the last message, and I respond with "hey, sorry i was gone, i was really busy." No response from Amy.
The next five days, she messages me each day on myspace. I don't respond to any of them, hoping that she would get the hint that I am not interested in her as a girlfriend (or as anything, for that matter).
Then the freaky shit starts up.
First, she sends me a text message. How she got my phone number, I'm not too sure. The only person she knows who knows my number is Sarah, so I assume that is how she got it, but it still freaks me out a bit. I ignore the first message (just saying whats up, of course). The next day she texts me, telling me to look at her "my photos" on her myspace. I do, and of course it gets even weirder.
Amy took something and cut my name into her leg. I mean, there wasn't blood everywhere, but you could definitely see that she marked my name onto her leg. I'm a bit shocked from all of this. I purposely tried to be cold and slightly rude online (and in real life) with her, but she doesn't seem to get the hint that I'm not interested, on top of the fact that she is, you know, fucking psycho.
So how should I proceed with all this?
PS I talked to Sarah about her giving my number to Amy, and Sarah said that Amy told her I gave Amy my number, but she lost it, so she needed it again.
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In all seriousness, just talk to her about it.
simple, easy, honest, to the point. If she gets upset, who cares she'll get over it
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Agreed. You have to be quite clear; there's nothing to fix, nothing can change, you're just not interested. Be polite but firm.
She cut your name into her leg
Make it clear that you're not interested, be polite and firm as mentioned, but don't let your guard down, because she is clearly disturbed
She may freak out when you tell her; best to do it over the phone or something.
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Also, tell "Sarah" about what's going on (as I assume they know each other), and see if she could help too. Make sure she knows where you stand with "Amy" so it doesn't blow your chances with her. If nothing else, it'll give you more of a reason to talk to her.
this
Sarah needs to know this shit IMMEDIATELY. If this crazy chick is cutting your name into her leg it's not a stretch that she might try to cut your name into Sarah if you reject her. I know thats reaching at imaginary outcomes, but it happens.
Talk with her first. Make her understand that you are in no way what so ever interested in her. If she persists, then get the restraining order.
Because this kind of crap, especially the cutting, can get out of hand.
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It's not really his business to tell her family about their daughter when he's only known her a week and they don't know each other. Telling his girlfriend is one thing, but if anyone tells her folks, it should be the daughter or the girlfriend, not him.
That's just how I see it. Then again, I'm not in that situation.
I disagree only because if shes already resorted into cutting herself shes a threat to herself and possibly others.
You don't know her parents. You don't know they're going to react in a positive or helpful manner. For all you know they're going to turn around and yell and scream at her about "how could you do this to us?!" which I can assure you is not a good way to help a troubled child. Among other already mentioned reasons and other reasons beyond those.
She's risking her right to privacy from her parents by going so crazy. If the OP feels she is a danger to himself or herself, and she's a minor, he pretty much has to tell her parents - any other binding step he might take will be relayed directly to them anyway. He should tell his parents, too. This is a parents situation.
And he should tell that girl, straight up, "I don't have any romantic interest in you and I'm no longer comfortable around you. Please don't have any further contact with me."
And he should start writing down, in detail, with times and dates, all of her attempts to contact him.
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No, this is a "someone who cares for her" situation. That's a very different qualifier. And I don't see anything indicating that he's a minor or that she's a minor.
The cutting thing I've seen kids in the class below me do in high school.
I use to see a few girls bored in class take a pencil and just kinda trace a word on their arm and eventually it gets irritated and kinda bumps up, like a scratch would (which it essentially just is) So she's not THAT crazy.
But.. yea, something needs to be done there.
Bringing parents in is always a gamble, the reasons have been mentioned already, and I would agree that you haven't known her long enough to completely know the whole situation. that being said, something does need to be done, because this could quickly escalate into something much larger. I would say blocking/not responding to any online attempts to communicate, as well and text messages.
I think that we are almost unanimous in saying that this person has a screw or two loose...but the severity in which she mutilated herself may give some insight to how bad her condition(s) is/are. Don't get me wrong cutting yourself is bad news in and of itself, but someone who causes more damage to themselves in my eyes are more damaged in the head then someone who gave themselves some light scrapes that will heal in a couple of days.
Instead, talk ot her friend about it. It's concerning that she'd get this fixated with you, and clearly she has some kind of issues. MAybe she has family problems, whatever - but you're not the one in a position to help her, really. 'Sarah' probably is, and she should know about this.
I know I'm going to sound really old when I say this, but tell your parents. You said that the two of you are 17 and 18? So probably in highschool, and thus well under the jurisdiction of parents. I've been a highschool girl, and sometimes we go a little crazy. Ask your parents for help. They might choose to call her parents, but this isn't really something you can deal with on your own, especially if she really is having some psychological issues.
Edit: Ooops, just noticed this is from 2008.