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Videogame Tom Swifties

CaspianXCaspianX Registered User regular
edited May 2008 in Games and Technology
So I got bored at work today, and even though my previous attempts at finding distractions have gotten my internet privileges yanked, I'm still perfectly capable of finding ways to waste my employer's time and money.

As it happened, I started thinking up Tom Swifties. For those that don't know, they're kind of a one-sentence pun of sorts where Tom says something in a way that calls back to what he's saying with a play on words. Knowing Tycho's infatuation with words, it occurred to me that there may be others here who might be entertained by this sort of thing, so I put it to you now: how about some game-related Tom Swifties?

I'll start you off with ten of my own:



"You may like playing first-person shooters online, but I hate it when people camp out my spawn points," Tom responded.


"I wish I hadn’t been squashed by that Thwomp," Tom said, depressed.


"I thought I’d kick Kano’s ass, but in the end he was the one who got me with his fatality," Tom said, disheartened.


"I totally kicked your ass with Cyclops in that X-Men game!" Tom beamed at his opponent.


"We played Ninja Turtles, but I got stuck playing Raphael," Tom sighed.


"I think it’s funny that Naked Snake is this super-stealthy spy, yet he loses his lunch so easily when he eats something he doesn’t like. I keep getting this picture in my head of him hiding from a group of armed guards and taking a bite of a candy bar, only to have his gag reflex attract their attention," Tom said quietly, trying to keep down his snickers.


"I played through Oblivion’s assassin’s guild once as an evil character, but I have a new character now who’s more of a hero. Can someone tell me if there’s any way I can play through it again without being, you know, a bad guy?" Tom requested good-naturedly.


"I’ve been playing Pokemon in the last few days while I’ve been sick to try and get my mind off of my illness, but even though I’ve put dozens of hours into the game, I don’t think I’ve caught a single poison-type Pokemon yet," Tom said, not noticing his wheezing.


"GTA4 has helicopters, but that’s it as far as airborne vehicles. The Dodo isn’t in this entry in the series," Tom explained.


"You may have beaten me last time we played Cooking Mama, but it’s only because I made that mistake while working on the dessert. This time, you won’t stand a chance," Tom retorted.



And yes, I know. This is the nerdiest thing ever.

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CaspianX on
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Posts

  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    HA

    Some of those are pretty funny, dude.

    YaYa on
  • BursarBursar Hee Noooo! PDX areaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Man, this takes me back to the last pages of Boy's Life. I'll probably end up spending most of tomorrow coming up with these things instead of actually working. Thanks a lot.

    Edit: Got one!

    "How do I get combine these two Personas?" Tom asked confusedly.

    "Some of us are able to get headshots from the other side of DE_DUST without cheating," Tom sniped.

    Bursar on
    GNU Terry Pratchett
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  • RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I... dont get it

    Raslin on
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  • randombattlerandombattle Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Raslin wrote: »
    I... dont get it

    Well I get it but I think it's pretty stupid. So count yourself lucky..

    randombattle on
    itsstupidbutidontcare2.gif
    I never asked for this!
  • ecco the dolphinecco the dolphin Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Damn you. I should be writing my thesis. =/

    Not coming up with stuff like:

    "How does Link carry all that stuff?", Tom Swifty quipped.

    Edit:

    "Guys! GUYS! Have you seen the new pics from SC4? Ivy and Taki sure are exaggerated," Tom busted in.

    ecco the dolphin on
    Penny Arcade Developers at PADev.net.
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I'm not saying 'wrong forum" or anything, because that's not my place, but the folks in D&D would probably get a kick out of this.

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
  • CaspianXCaspianX Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    eecc wrote: »
    "Guys! GUYS! Have you seen the new pics from SC4? Ivy and Taki sure are exaggerated," Tom busted in.

    Wouldn't "busted out" be more appropriate?
    Variable wrote: »
    I'm not saying 'wrong forum" or anything, because that's not my place, but the folks in D&D would probably get a kick out of this.

    Well, I figured it kinda' fits in both, but this is the forum I hang out in, soooooo...

    CaspianX on
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  • ecco the dolphinecco the dolphin Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    CaspianX wrote: »
    eecc wrote: »
    "Guys! GUYS! Have you seen the new pics from SC4? Ivy and Taki sure are exaggerated," Tom busted in.

    Wouldn't "busted out" be more appropriate?

    "Touche sir! I see you play this game better than I.", I riposted.

    ecco the dolphin on
    Penny Arcade Developers at PADev.net.
  • HarshLanguageHarshLanguage Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Neat thread!

    "My D&D cleric needs more experience," Tom said levelly.

    HarshLanguage on
    QSwearing_trans_smooth_small.gif
    > turn on light

    Good start to the day. Pity it's going to be the worst one of your life. The light is now on.
  • ben0207ben0207 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "This thread is full of dicks", I ejaculated.

    ben0207 on
  • RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Last couple were funny, I get it now :P

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
  • Zealous OneZealous One Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I'm always the first to strike it rich on the Yukon Trail," Tom claimed.

    These things are great for a few laughs. Props to the OP and some of the wittier ones!

    Zealous One on
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  • LegbaLegba He did. Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "EverQuest? More like EverCrack," Tom snorted.

    Legba on
  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I only need two more pieces," said Tom halfheartedly.

    "I hate using Electrodes!" Tom exploded.

    ",em llik esaelP" said Tom crabbily.

    "This devilish game is too hard!" Tom may have cried.

    "I'm going to make the best enchanted leather armour ever," said Tom craftily.

    "It makes me said that the later Monkey Island games didn't have an Open button specifically for doors," Tom disclosed.

    "Okami is awesome," Tom drawled.

    "I'm never the first to strike it rich on the Yukon trail," Tom declaimed.

    I could do this all day

    Crimson King on
  • UncleSporkyUncleSporky Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    This is awful and so lame and I hate it and oh some of these are quite good

    "Holding my breath, going around this last corner...I wish the bikes could spark to the second level like the karts," Tom thought, turning blue.

    UncleSporky on
    Switch Friend Code: SW - 5443 - 2358 - 9118 || 3DS Friend Code: 0989 - 1731 - 9504 || NNID: unclesporky
  • Xenogears of BoreXenogears of Bore Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    You Must Recover! Tom bawled.

    Xenogears of Bore on
    3DS CODE: 3093-7068-3576
  • Xenogears of BoreXenogears of Bore Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with light! Tom may have cried.

    Xenogears of Bore on
    3DS CODE: 3093-7068-3576
  • UncleSporkyUncleSporky Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I am no good at Wii Sports bowling," Tom said gutturally.

    "After I was done exploring Vivec, I warped back to Balmora," Tom recalled.

    "Morrowind is so big, I have to keep changed the spot that I Recall to," Tom remarked.

    "Oh my god guys, this game is so much fun," Tom yelled, coming forward.

    "Whoa, the gravity is all strange in Mario Galaxy," Tom said energetically, bouncing off the walls.

    "I'll still level them up, but some of these Pokemon designs are just weird," Tom said, raising an eyebrow.

    "Ha, I grabbed you! Take that, Falco!" Tom shouted, flipping the bird.

    "Damn, Contra 4 is so hard. But how shall I describe its difficulty?" Tom thought, cocking his head.

    UncleSporky on
    Switch Friend Code: SW - 5443 - 2358 - 9118 || 3DS Friend Code: 0989 - 1731 - 9504 || NNID: unclesporky
  • LunkerLunker Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    A good pun is its own reword.

    Lunker on
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  • redfenixredfenix Aka'd as rfix Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with light! Tom may have cried.

    ahahaha

    redfenix on
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    At first I thought this shit was retarded but then I got it. Turns out I'm retarded because I can't think of anything to contribute, but I'll be checking this for more funny ones. :^:

    Darmak on
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  • Dodge AspenDodge Aspen Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I've never heard of these before, but damn if I'm not laughing my ass off.

    I tried to think of one for that sentence, but I suck, apparently.

    Dodge Aspen on
    Xbox - Dodge Mega
    Switch - SW-3699-5063-5018

  • MetaHybridMetaHybrid Taste defeat!Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I can't beleive I let the Super Mushroom slide of the edge" Tom said feeling small.

    "Well you shouldn't have gotten hit by that bomb-omb in the first place" Tom boomed.

    "I'm just not good at Platforming games." Tom said, pitifully.

    MetaHybrid on
    3DS: 3265-5577-2211 NNID: Metahybrid
  • CentipeedCentipeed Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    How about

    "I like dick in my ass!" said Tom, gaily.

    Or is it meant to be about games?

    "Mario likes my dick in his ass!" said Tom, gaily.

    Centipeed on
  • SimBenSimBen Hodor? Hodor Hodor.Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Man, CaspianX is such a nerd", posted Tom on an Internet Forum.

    "I love Conker, but I hate that part where you keep having to walk back to the keg when you run out of ammo", Tom said, pissed off.

    "I love being on top", Tom paged.

    SimBen on
    sig.gif
  • SnorkSnork word Jamaica Plain, MARegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Centipeed wrote: »
    How about

    "I like dick in my ass!" said Tom, gaily.

    Or is it meant to be about games?

    "Mario likes my dick in his ass!" said Tom, gaily.
    I hope you're aware of the humor this post creates when taken in the context of your sig and avatar

    Snork on
  • CaspianXCaspianX Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Some I thought up today:


    “You want to play that old first-person shooter?” Tom quaked.

    “I can’t believe they’re making more Halo games,” Tom said morosely.

    “I’m going to beat you, Crash Man,” Tom said, with an air of enmity.

    “I can’t believe your Hitmonchan beat the Pokemon I got at the fighting-type gym,” Tom said weakly.

    “Wow. It sucks what happened to Mary in Silent Hill 2,” Tom said, sickened.

    “I finally found the Chamber of Secrets in this Harry Potter game. It’s stupid what I had to do to get in,” Tom hissed.

    CaspianX on
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  • SimBenSimBen Hodor? Hodor Hodor.Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I tried playing Metal Gear Solid 2, but that crazy bitch just wouldn't shut up so I turned it off", Tom rose.

    SimBen on
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  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Aeris dies!" Tom said sharply.

    Zombiemambo on
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  • Forever ZefiroForever Zefiro cloaked in the midnight glory of an event horizonRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I started playing Kane & Lynch but it turned out to be a pile of shit," Tom deduced.

    Forever Zefiro on
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  • AkimboEGAkimboEG Mr. Fancypants Wears very fine pants indeedRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I hate getting backstabbed," said Tom jaggedly.

    AkimboEG on
    Give me a kiss to build a dream on; And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss; Sweetheart, I ask no more than this; A kiss to build a dream on
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    "Black and White is pretty gimmicky," Tom gestured.

    "Why did it polymorph me instead of identifying my items?" Tom wondered.

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Which Brain Age game is your favorite?" Tom quized.

    ph blake on
    7h8wnycre6vs.png
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    "I rather like this last boss's music," Tom inquired.

    "Rock Band 3 seems unreasonably hard," Tom mused.

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "These Singstar games actually aren't that bad," Tom chorused.

    "HOLD IT! Phoenix Wright is a great series, and you really need to take the time to play through them," Tom objected.

    "I should have put more points into Blacksmithing," Tom bellowed.

    These are kind of fun.

    ph blake on
    7h8wnycre6vs.png
  • BursarBursar Hee Noooo! PDX areaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I've never heard of these before, but damn if I'm not laughing my ass off.

    "If you do, I can help you put it back on," Tom rebutted.

    Bursar on
    GNU Terry Pratchett
    PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
    Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
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  • Xenogears of BoreXenogears of Bore Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    What am I fighting for? Tom zeroed in on the answer.

    Xenogears of Bore on
    3DS CODE: 3093-7068-3576
  • PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "It's not my fault I died," Tom said, two-stepping his way out of trouble, "the battle system in The World Ends With You is so confusing!"

    PikaPuff on
    jCyyTSo.png
  • DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "I'm using the Wario Waft move", Tom let out.
    "These Larry games are really fun", Tom said leisurely.
    "Snaking ruined MKDS", Tom rattled.
    "I baked you a cake", Tom lied.
    "Everytime a chant or shout ends on you, this effect is reapplied", Tom echoed.
    "OSU!", Tom cheered.

    Djiem on
  • LocklockLocklock Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Laugh all you want Ice Man, but I know your weakness!" Tom fired

    Locklock on
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