So I posted my first comic online...

amateurhour

I'll post more as I put them online.

I know it needs a lot of work, as do the podcasts and general site layout, but it's something I've always wanted to do, so I did it.




Before everyone goes into what I need to do to improve my art, I was wondering if they would be so kind as to tell me the best method to do word bubbles, tails, and get the text to fill out the said word bubbles properly.

I'm using mostly digital strip and sunday comic as fonts, from blambot, but I've got most of the free ones if there's a better reccomendation.

site link is in sig if anyone feels like checking it out. New comics go up Tuesday and Thursday, podcast on Monday.

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

Chuck Brock? Holy Hell that's an awesome action star name!

As for your comic, the thing that strikes me right off the bat is the last panel--don't add "heh..." to a word balloon. In fact I feel you should *never* add an action like laughing to a word balloon (Get Fuzzy does it all the time and it drives me up the wall--then back down again). This may just be me however, but I feel things like a laugh should be *shown* through the artwork and not telegraphed through the dialogue.

Heartlash

The necks really jump out as elongated without purpose to me. Also, the lack of any sort of background in the last 3 panels seems a little lazy, especially since we're being introduced to the setting.

The premise of a web comic about a unique store has potential though, keep working at it.

Druhim

Mars Elliot wrote: »

Chuck Brock? Holy Hell that's an awesome action star name!

As for your comic, the thing that strikes me right off the bat is the last panel--don't add "heh..." to a word balloon. In fact I feel you should *never* add an action like laughing to a word balloon (Get Fuzzy does it all the time and it drives me up the wall--then back down again). This may just be me however, but I feel things like a laugh should be *shown* through the artwork and not telegraphed through the dialogue.

that's a good point, but I'd add that it should really just say "no smoking indoors"
by explaining that it's a fire hazard, you're pulling a Tim Buckley and explaining something that doesn't need to be explained. Pare it down and keep it simple, we already get why he's using the fire extinguisher on him.

amateurhour

Thanks for all of the feedback so far. I have a bad habit of making necks to long because I usually make the heads slightly larger. I'll work on shrinking that down though.

Also, I was kind of tossed between doing backgrounds and not doing backgrounds, so I played with both in the first comic just to see what I liked. I think I want to add them full time though, as it's not really that much more trouble to do.

I guess I wanted to explain the joke because the text in fire extinguisher came in a little too small, and I wanted to make sure people got it.

I see now that they do though, so I'll tone that back.

Thanks again!

also yes, I have an awesome name.

Druhim

well, if you're concerned the fire extinguisher isn't clearly recognizable as such then putting a label on it or having someone say something to clarify what it is isn't really a good solution
just make it look like a fire extinguisher and forget about labeling it

NakedZergling

Is this a joke?
I honestly couldn't tell if this was supposed to be humor or some kind of social commentary? The art is...well not that great. I find it distracting that he first panel has a background, then that gets abandoned in the other 3.
You shouldn't have to writ e "fire extinguisher" for people to know what it is. Plus IF you are gonna write it on the side (but don't) why would the writing be horizontal if the extinguisher is at an angle?
The introduction of the extinguisher in panel 3 is awkward at best.

I fear to ask whats on the podcast? Are you just doing a podcast because PA does one? Not faulting you for doing one, just curious.

Kealoha

NakedZergling wrote: »

Is this a joke?
I honestly couldn't tell if this was supposed to be humor or some kind of social commentary? The art is...well not that great. I find it distracting that he first panel has a background, then that gets abandoned in the other 3.
You shouldn't have to writ e "fire extinguisher" for people to know what it is. Plus IF you are gonna write it on the side (but don't) why would the writing be horizontal if the extinguisher is at an angle?
The introduction of the extinguisher in panel 3 is awkward at best.

I fear to ask whats on the podcast? Are you just doing a podcast because PA does one? Not faulting you for doing one, just curious.

Off-topic, but reading A Confederacy of Dunces right now. Holy fuck, you remind me of Ignatius.


On topic, the writing is the worst part to me, I think. The art could maybe be adapted to be good enough for a comic, though it's not without its flaws. I like the look of the main guy, but I don't know what's on his head.

KalTorak

I've found that word-bubble text fills a rounded shape a lot more easily when it's center-aligned, rather than left- or right-margined. A block of text aligned along either side margin is going to look like exactly that - a block. Center-aligned text lets you shape the lines to be wider toward the middle and form a nice round shape.

amateurhour

KalTorak wrote: »

I've found that word-bubble text fills a rounded shape a lot more easily when it's center-aligned, rather than left- or right-margined. A block of text aligned along either side margin is going to look like exactly that - a block. Center-aligned text lets you shape the lines to be wider toward the middle and form a nice round shape.

I'll try that on the next one. Thanks.

Kealoha - I'm stll kind of figuring out what kind of humor I want to go with, so I just made a point to keep the first few pretty generic setup jokes, and clean. I've got some ideas for some four or five strip arcs that will hopefully get a little better.

Zergling - No, I'm not doing a podcast because PA has one. I'm doing one because a) I'm not doing a daily strip and I want to have some additional content and b) because I have friends in various media and technical fields that have a good bit to say, and we like to get together and drink and goof around, so we decided to hit the record button.

In fact, not to intentionally name drop. But the guest this week was Stephen Poff, the guy who first started the 365 self portrait project that moss made a thread about.

amateurhour

Just so this wasn't another comic thread where someone posted and got scared. I decided to put up another one. I think I fixed the word bubble issue, but I'm still having trouble with sizing. When I drop to 72 dpi I need to also drop to 300 x 700 to fit the page layout, but it's throwing everything off a little. I guess one new problem solved opens up another. Anyways.

Mustang

Cut the first panel, it does absolutely nothing to drive your story. If your stuck with 300x700 your going to need to cut whatever you don't need, which is a good thing really. Over telling your story will have you labelled a Tim Buckley clone and that's grounds for suicide....EDIT: which I've just realised 4 people have already mentioned, soi'll just shut my big fat mouth.

Druhim

yeah, although at least you didn't explain the joke after the punchline, so that's good

but the first panel is unecessary

beavotron

i can't read that, the font is too small. also did you use 2 different fonts? and is one of them comic sans?

amateurhour

beavotron wrote: »

i can't read that, the font is too small. also did you use 2 different fonts? and is one of them comic sans?

none of them are comic sans. I wouldn't have the balls to put a comic up here with sans font.

One is sunday comic, from blambot, the other is straight jacket, also from blambot. I used it to fit the whole mind control device setting.

edit: Also, who the hell is Tim Buckley and why does everyone on the internet hate him?

Druhim

Tim Buckley does Ctrl+Alt+Del, a webcomic with mediocre art and over explained jokes. So usually when someone compares something to Buckley, they mean the joke is being dumbed down to a level which insults a reasonably intelligent reader.

117Lei

I have lots of problems with your text/speech bubbles.

First of all, try and cut down on the words. TL;DR should be the operative phrase. Good comics have fewer words and explain things with the art more.

Second, IMO, you need to format the text a little better. Its pretty much crammed into the speech bubble right now. Leave some room on the edges and it'll look much more professional. Also, center the "mass" of the text more. Don't just say "hey" and then push enter twice and have a huge mass of words on the bottom of the bubble. Make a little bubble that's growing out of the main one for the "hey".

Thirdly, change your fonts. Make sure its big and neat enough to be read easily.

Nam

The art is pretty poor and not consistent at all. Even webcomics which are done crudely still have a charm about them. What I'm saying is you need to do more with what you got and redesign your characters or change up your style. That being said, I'm not sure exactly what you're going for. The text bubbles/font size + choice are also irritating to look at from a universal perspective. The art would be forgiven if this was really funny or fresh, but it's not really breaking any new ground.