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13 year old boy buys hookers to play Halo

TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
edited May 2008 in Games and Technology
I dunno if this belongs here, but it's too fucking hilarious not to post:

Link!
Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament.
The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

I have to say, I find this pretty damn funny. I know video games will catch flack for this, but damn if that's not a funny story. I bet that boy is a god among his class mates.

TheSonicRetard on
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    BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament."

    That's my boy.

    Brolo on
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    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I think someone took that PA strip about Crystal Chronicles a bit too seriously.

    Couscous on
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    BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I love the excuse, saying that he was a person of restrictive growth that worked for a circus. Apparently he's picked up some things from daddy the lawyer.

    BlackDragon480 on
    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    hahahah what

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I love the excuse, saying that he was a person of restrictive growth that worked for a circus. Apparently he's picked up some things from daddy the lawyer.

    I know, right?

    That kid seriously rules.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    ItalaxItalax Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

    He'll do well.

    Italax on
    PSN: Italax - Steam ID : Italax
    Sometimes I Stream Games: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/italax-plays-video-games
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    BasticleBasticle Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    is this real?

    Basticle on
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    lowlylowlycooklowlylowlycook Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    This story is too good to check if you know what I mean.

    For $30,000 I'd expect them to buy a PS3 or at least a 360.

    lowlylowlycook on
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    (Please do not gift. My game bank is already full.)
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    MalaysianShrewMalaysianShrew Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Shit, I wish I could get some fly honies to play videogames with me.

    MalaysianShrew on
    Never trust a big butt and a smile.
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    MblackwellMblackwell Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    This is the greatest thing I've ever read...

    Maybe not the greatest, but it's up there.

    Mblackwell on
    Music: The Rejected Applications | Nintendo Network ID: Mblackwell

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    Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    holy shit awesome

    Captain K on
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    This story is too good to check if you know what I mean.

    For $30,000 I'd expect them to buy a PS3 or at least a 360.
    It could be Halo 3 on the 360 and the reporters are just too stupid to point out the difference.

    Bedlam on
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    ShogunShogun Hair long; money long; me and broke wizards we don't get along Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    So do you think his dad is furious or just really proud?

    Shogun on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Bedlam wrote: »
    This story is too good to check if you know what I mean.

    For $30,000 I'd expect them to buy a PS3 or at least a 360.
    It could be Halo 3 on the 360 and the reporters are just too stupid to point out the difference.

    Thats what I thought.

    Seriously, this kid is badass. I was a smartass when I was 13, but this kid is unreal. I'd totally buy him a beer when he was old enough if I ever ran into him.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Shogun wrote: »
    So do you think his dad is furious or just really proud?

    If I were the kid's father, I'd be pissed as shit. As awesome as this is, it's still $30,000 blown in a few days.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    CaspianXCaspianX Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Just how can a parent respond to that kind of thing? I mean, just saying "you're grounded 'till you move out" doesn't seem to cut it. I mean, if your kid steals the Mona Lisa, you almost have to say, "Well done". Somehow I suspect this kid will never play WoW again, and I think that military school is probably in this guy's future.

    I just hope the credit card company can't hold the $30,000 over the guy's head.

    CaspianX on
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    MgcwMgcw Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    This cannot be real
    They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

    You hookers can't discriminate against us because we're midgets or the government will be mad.

    Mgcw on
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    MisanthropicMisanthropic Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie.

    Misanthropic on
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    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Shogun wrote: »
    So do you think his dad is furious or just really proud?

    If I were the kid's father, I'd be pissed as shit. As awesome as this is, it's still $30,000 blown in a few days.

    I wonder how much of it he could make back by selling the stuff he bought on eBay with this story attached to it.

    Couscous on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Mgcw wrote: »
    This cannot be real
    They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

    You hookers can't discriminate against us because we're midgets or the government will be mad.

    It was more than likely an escort service, in which case, over the phone, this would be a pretty plausible claim.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Mgcw wrote: »
    This cannot be real
    They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

    You hookers can't discriminate against us because we're midgets or the government will be mad.

    Well, legitimate "escort services" do have to follow state and federal discrimination laws. And if they were $1,000 a night, odds are these weren't girls from down on the corner.

    BlackDragon480 on
    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
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    DjiemDjiem Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I wish I could tell people "I played Halo with $1,000-a-night hookers."

    If he had been playing GTA, would he have to kill the hookers afterwards to get his cash back?

    Djiem on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    CaspianX wrote: »
    Just how can a parent respond to that kind of thing? I mean, just saying "you're grounded 'till you move out" doesn't seem to cut it. I mean, if your kid steals the Mona Lisa, you almost have to say, "Well done". Somehow I suspect this kid will never play WoW again, and I think that military school is probably in this guy's future.

    I just hope the credit card company can't hold the $30,000 over the guy's head.

    This took place in Texas. I can promise you I know the exact response - cut a switch from the tree, you're not going to school for a week.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    GamjeeGamjee Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Shogun wrote: »
    So do you think his dad is furious or just really proud?


    "Furiously Proud" I'd wager!

    With blackjack, ah forget the whole thing.

    Gamjee on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Gamjee wrote: »
    With blackjack, ah forget the whole thing.

    Haha, that was the very first thought that popped into my head upon reading the article.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    FyreWulffFyreWulff YouRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    On one hand, 30,000$ gone.

    On the other, I want to salute him.

    If I was his dad, I'd ground him until he was 18, but I'd secretly laugh my ass off whenever I got the chance.

    FyreWulff on
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    LookFreeGrenadeLookFreeGrenade Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    You know his dad's going to take the idea.

    LookFreeGrenade on
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    DiannaoChongDiannaoChong Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Well if the kid signed the back of the card, and signed for the purchases so the signature matched (even if he signed with his own name)the charges are legitimate I believe and the father is responsible. Its what I learned a while back with some cops/loss prevention. Of course it could be my mind playing tricks on me. This is why you have a signature on your card. someone signs on purchase and it dosent match and they accept then you are home free.

    Something dosen't add up in the story... a card company would free the account with 30k being racked up in a couple days, or call the father to say hey, are these legit?

    DiannaoChong on
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    The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    In about 20 years he will be able to pull this story ot at parties and weddings and stuff and be granted complete access to everything.

    The_Scarab on
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    FugaFuga Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I bet that boy is a god among his class mates.
    Everyone would think he's pathetic for playing vgames with hookers imho. :P

    Fuga on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Fuga wrote: »
    I bet that boy is a god among his class mates.
    Everyone would think he's pathetic for playing vgames with hookers imho. :P

    At 13? If a kid had gone to my middle school and told people that he played Halo with hookers, he would have been worshiped.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    FoodFood Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Screw Bioshock, this should be the next big video game movie.

    Food on
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    MongerMonger I got the ham stink. Dallas, TXRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present.
    Awesome.

    Oh, state of Texas. This is why I love and concurrently hate you so.

    Monger on
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    Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Food wrote: »
    Screw Bioshock, this should be the next big video game movie.

    Will Smith to play Ralph confirmed

    Captain K on
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    ChenChen Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    $1,000? The kid's pretty picky for a 13 year-old.

    Ah, to be 13 again.

    Chen on
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    TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Captain K wrote: »
    Food wrote: »
    Screw Bioshock, this should be the next big video game movie.

    Will Smith to play Ralph confirmed

    Reginald VelJohnson to play hooker number 1

    EDIT: I would watch that movie every day for the rest of my life.

    TheSonicRetard on
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    DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Wow, that is so awesome. How does a kid of 13 come to do something like this, thats pretty funny. Fuck thats like what I dream about!
    Well...close enough really but we won't go into it

    Dixon on
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    subediisubedii Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Chen wrote: »
    $1,000? The kid's pretty picky for a 13 year-old.

    What the heck dude, if you're going to be completing on Legendary, you need quality support in tow.

    subedii on
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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Someone decide if this helps or hinders the 'Gaylo' reputation.

    darleysam on
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    Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Seriously, if they had actually slept with the hookers, this wouldn't be nearly as awesome a story. Especially for the kid himself!

    Captain K on
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