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A slight dilemma
Tweaked_Bat_
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Eh sorry for the undescriptive topic title.
Anyway, was curious if anyone else here has gone through a similar situation and has some light to shed on the matter.
My girlfriend and I started being "sexually active" (ie: started having sex) a couple months back. Both being first-timers, we were pretty clueless, haha. Anyway, as expected, first time round, it was fairly painful for her. Usually a pretty normal thing, we just went on, and assumed it would start to get better as time moved on.
A couple of tries later, and she says that it hurts less than the first time, but more or less keeps hurting the same amount each time we try. We've done it maybe 5 or so times.
I suggested lubing up, but she claims the pain doesn't occur when I'm going in, but once I'm in. I still want to give it another shot with lube this time, but obviously she isn't so keen to try anymore, now that she's convinced herself something's wrong with her and she must therefore be a freak of some sort.
Anyway, this gets me thinking that it still hurts when we do it because she expects it to hurt, and therefore tenses up once we start. She's known to worry and be kinda tense at times, so that's why this theory holds with me. But, she says that's not the case, so I'm not gonna argue.
So, we're really only left with one last option I suppose, and that is to see a specialist... she's very reluctant to just "keep doing it" and see if it goes away with time, and I'm not going to force such a thing. Nor am I incredibly experienced in the matter, so it could actually be something "medical".
Anyway, she doesn't complain of any pain outside or around, and there's no sort if irritation or infection symptoms, so we're quite sure we're both "clean". We have plenty of foreplay, and we're both quite ready and relaxed (so she claims) by the time we start, so it really has baffled me.
Anyone else had similar experiences? What are your guys thoughts?
Anyway, was curious if anyone else here has gone through a similar situation and has some light to shed on the matter.
My girlfriend and I started being "sexually active" (ie: started having sex) a couple months back. Both being first-timers, we were pretty clueless, haha. Anyway, as expected, first time round, it was fairly painful for her. Usually a pretty normal thing, we just went on, and assumed it would start to get better as time moved on.
A couple of tries later, and she says that it hurts less than the first time, but more or less keeps hurting the same amount each time we try. We've done it maybe 5 or so times.
I suggested lubing up, but she claims the pain doesn't occur when I'm going in, but once I'm in. I still want to give it another shot with lube this time, but obviously she isn't so keen to try anymore, now that she's convinced herself something's wrong with her and she must therefore be a freak of some sort.
Anyway, this gets me thinking that it still hurts when we do it because she expects it to hurt, and therefore tenses up once we start. She's known to worry and be kinda tense at times, so that's why this theory holds with me. But, she says that's not the case, so I'm not gonna argue.
So, we're really only left with one last option I suppose, and that is to see a specialist... she's very reluctant to just "keep doing it" and see if it goes away with time, and I'm not going to force such a thing. Nor am I incredibly experienced in the matter, so it could actually be something "medical".
Anyway, she doesn't complain of any pain outside or around, and there's no sort if irritation or infection symptoms, so we're quite sure we're both "clean". We have plenty of foreplay, and we're both quite ready and relaxed (so she claims) by the time we start, so it really has baffled me.
Anyone else had similar experiences? What are your guys thoughts?
Tweaked_Bat_ on
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you don't want to continue anything that is hurting, but if you can play around a bit with positions you might find something satisfying for both of you
I'd suggest lube but also if you're just doing it missionary try with her on top - that way she can control what's happening and might help her relax a bit more (especially as the position allows you to increase the fondling - thinking about that might stop her tensing up). If i'm being too vague, say, but I don't really want to write "The Joy of Sex" while sat in the library!
She does need to see a gynecologist for a pap smear every year anyway now that she's sexually active, and she might as well ask about the sex while she's there.
I guess I forgot to mention: We've tried with her on top, and she says it hurts slightly less, which is a good sign, but it still continues to hurt each time we try anyway.
But, we talked a little more this evening and we're willing to try some more and see if anything improves. I'll be a little more adamant with the lube idea this time, and we'll see how much difference it makes...
I uh, can't really say, but I'm pretty sure I'm of a fairly average size. I'm quite certain I'm not hitting her cervix because my thrusts have been pretty shallow to this point... I'm quite aware it's not something to "power through" haha... I even told her the last time we tried that we don't have to have intercourse each time, and at that point she got quite upset because she thought she was "ruining it" for me (dear god she's the one who's actually going through physical pain and somehow she's upset she's ruining it for me).
My theory still stands that she is maybe tensing at that point, so we'll see how it goes.
Thanks for the tip regarding the gyno - will make sure that happens.