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Fortune Cookies and Various Superstitions

GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer AAAAAUGH!!Registered User regular
edited May 2008 in Social Entropy++
Okay, well, my brother and I bought some really awesome Chinese food for dinner tonight. I opened my fortune cookie and this was my fortune:

Be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans!
Lucky numbers: 3, 7, 12, 24, 27, 33


Really... what the fuck, Chinese Fortune Cookie? This could apply to any and all plans I'm making or enacting right now. I don't believe in astrology, but I wholeheartedly believe in fortune cookies. Never. Mock. The cookies. I also throw salt over my shoulder if it spills. I developed that habit around some very superstitious friends.

So, what fortunes have you stumbled across in your cookie breaking? Or what superstitions do you follow?

GoldenSeducer on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    We don't really get fortune cookies in Australia, only if you go out and buy them specifically.

    But I keep two fortunes in my wallet from the two times I got chinese food last time I visited America.

    The first one, 2 days after I arrived said "There is excitement to be found everywhere you go"

    The second, just before I went home said "You are wise to be deeply attached to your family and home"

    #pipe on
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    BergyBergy Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Mine are never fortunes.

    They are always like "You are a good business man"

    Bergy on
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    I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2008
    "Be sure to ask your waiter about Antidote!"
    "Your lucky number is: irrelevant"

    Rankenphile on
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    PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    White American fortune cookie

    Pharezon on
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    BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    If I don't add "in bed" to the end someone I know will die in ten days

    BusterK on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    "Nice tie, dickweed."

    Critical on
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    bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    #pipe wrote: »
    We don't really get fortune cookies in Australia, only if you go out and buy them specifically.

    But I keep two fortunes in my wallet from the two times I got chinese food last time I visited America.

    The first one, 2 days after I arrived said "There is excitement to be found everywhere you go"

    The second, just before I went home said "You are wise to be deeply attached to your family and home"

    pipe you're from brisbane, surely you remember that regurgitator song

    happiness is a kung-foo-sing

    bsjezz on
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    redheadredhead Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    you don't actually believe in fortune cookies

    no one does

    redhead on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Do you like me? Check yes or no



    I mean, what the hell do you do with that

    Skull Man on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited May 2008
    I always love the ones that say "You love fortune cookies."

    Rankenphile on
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    bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    ...in bed!

    DarkPrimus on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Yes yes, of course I know Kung Foo Sing.

    I have hung out with Ben Ely and eaten in Qwan's restaurant.

    But I mean, the only way to get fortune cookies here is to go to an Asian grocery store and buy a box.

    #pipe on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Anyone ever get those goofy prank fortune cookies?

    One place I went to had them. Mine said "The waiter slept with your wife."

    Critical on
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    Lord DaveLord Dave Grief Causer Bitch Free ZoneRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I got one last night that said "Keep your expectations reasonable".
    Thanks, fortune cookie.

    Lord Dave on
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    Dr.FunkensteinDr.Funkenstein Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I remeber in middle school they used to give you fortune cookies for lunch and they would have shitty messages like "stay and school"

    Dr.Funkenstein on
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    bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    #pipe wrote: »
    Yes yes, of course I know Kung Foo Sing.

    I have hung out with Ben Ely and eaten in Qwan's restaurant.

    But I mean, the only way to get fortune cookies here is to go to an Asian grocery store and buy a box.

    i'm pretty sure you can get boxes of kong foo sing from like woolies around here

    but then again i guess sydney has a pretty big asian population

    bsjezz on
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    Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    If you aren't using the I Ching and bamboo reed divination, then I just don't know what kind of businessman you are

    Dely Apple on
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    Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    For a while I had "Ceromancer" as my business card title

    I was the best one in the town, let me tell you
    I just wanted to win sandwiches

    Dely Apple on
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    Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Think about ceromancy, you could just become a ceromancer to write off all those Yankee Candle binges on the taxes!

    Dely Apple on
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    Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Quietly leaving the thread and going to the Castro district for dicks

    Dely Apple on
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    MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Worst monologue.

    MKR on
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    JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I liked Fram's story about fortune cookies he posted not too long ago.

    JC of DI on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    black people eat moonbeams

    Skull Man on
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    RinderRinder Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I just had some chinese take-out. The freaking fortune cookie had no fortune in it. What a bummer.

    Rinder on
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I toss the salt over my shoulder, but only so I can tell the story behind the superstition to anyone who asks. It really changes people's outlooks.

    Bunch of little old Mexican ladies just sitting around. Blinding Satan.

    Jedoc on
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    cheshirecheshire Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Rinder wrote: »
    I just had some chinese take-out. The freaking fortune cookie had no fortune in it. What a bummer.

    I was always told that if your fortune cookie was empty, it meant that you had no fortune and were going to die.

    cheshire on
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    cheshire wrote: »
    Rinder wrote: »
    I just had some chinese take-out. The freaking fortune cookie had no fortune in it. What a bummer.

    I was always told that if your fortune cookie was empty, it meant that you had no fortune and were going to die.
    Especially if you don't leave enough of a tip to convice the waiter to get you the antidote.

    Since it was takeout though, you're pretty well boned.

    see317 on
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    SpazMuffinSpazMuffin Hey Cut it outRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I once got one that told me I would go to Phoenix, Arizona in the coming year. It was an oddly specific and very inaccurate cookie. Though delicious none the less.

    SpazMuffin on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The best fortune cookie I ever got said "It is a good day! :-)"

    That was it

    Fandyien on
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    Reverend RaucousReverend Raucous Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Skull Man wrote: »
    black people eat moonbeams

    Evidence please

    Reverend Raucous on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I was raised with a bunch of superstitious stuff, but I don't really do most of it.

    Also, isn't this Tyracora?

    Sheri on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    what superstitious stuff were you raised with, sheri

    Skull Man on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Salt over the shoulder and whatnot

    My grandmother used to throw a plate out onto the lawn every new year

    It had a reason, I just forget what. It was to ensure a good year.

    Sheri on
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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I hate fortune cookies that aren't actually fortunes at all.

    Javen on
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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    a plate?

    like a plateful of food? or like just a plate from the house? if so, did you go get it after?

    Skull Man on
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    GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I got a cookie once, and it said ":)Everyone loves you!:)"

    And I have one on this desk that says "You will live a long and wealthy life"

    Graves on
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    RinderRinder Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Javen wrote: »
    I hate fortune cookies that aren't actually fortunes at all.

    I've had a few that were poorly thought out. Like "Your cheerful outlook brightens the life of men around you." Brought a few good laughs tho.

    Rinder on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Skull Man wrote: »
    a plate?

    like a plateful of food? or like just a plate from the house? if so, did you go get it after?

    Well it was an empty plate

    I think you were SUPPOSED to break it on the lawn

    But she'd just toss it and we'd get it the next day

    Then we started using paper plates

    We were lazy superstitious people.

    Sheri on
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    GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The spirits don't give a fuck about specifics.

    Graves on
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