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Well there goes the kids
Death of Rats
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
This might take a little bit to explain.
Last year my sister (mid 20's) and her ex husband (mid 50's) broke off their relationship. They had 3 kids, two of which are autistic. They were living in St Charles Missouri. My sister moved in with my parents and me. We live in Illinois. Nathan (the father) got an order of protection on my sister on the kids' behalf. Eventually it got dropped, and my sister could see the kids every other week.
Then, once the divorce got finalized my sister moved to New Mexico to help with a ministry. Nathan intimidated her into not fighting for even partial custody of the kids (my sister has had some psychological problems in the past), so he got full custody and she got visitation rights. They had worked out that she would get the kids for a week every 3 months. Also, my parents were granted grandparents' rights, so they were getting the kids every other weekend. When they were here my sister would talk to them via webcam.
But things have ended up going bad. My sister contacted the school to see when the kids' next break would be so she could buy her airline tickets to come up here. The school said the kids had been pulled out of school on the 9th with Nathan saying they were going to be moving and he'd get the new school to get in contact with them to get records. Then a few days later my sister got a letter from Nathan saying he was moving, and giving his new address, which is in New York (vandalia?).
My parents, who were suppose to get the kids last weekend, tried calling Nathan to find out what was going on, but his phone has been disconnected, and his old house is empty. So when we started talking to my sister about what was going on, she decided to look up his new address. No such residence. So she contacted the police, who drove around the neighborhood where Nathan told her he would be living. No such residency, no one new in the neighborhood, nothing.
So as it stands right now we don't know where the kids are, we have no way to get in contact with their father, and the police won't do anything about it because my sister doesn't have custody. Apparently visitation rights only mean anything in Missouri if you can prove that the other party has moved out of state, which we can't do. This guy has a history of disappearing. He hasn't paid taxes for the last 20 years. He used to be a drug dealer. He's an asshole.
So I'm looking for any advice on how we could find this guy. I have a few ideas (one of them which might get me sued, but it might be worth it if we could get him to come out of hiding), but I'd love to hear any suggestions. We're worried about how this change will affect the kids, considering how young they are (2/3/4) and that two of them are autistic.
My main idea is to start an online campaign to find him, using pictures of him and descriptions of the kids to get someone to notify us if they've seen him. And to also tell people exactly what kind of guy he is. Considering he's threated to sue me before for slander when I had some info about him up on my livejournal, it might pull him out of hiding to sue me, which would at least put him and the kids back on the map for us.
So, any ideas? If people need more info I'd be happy to share it (within reason).
Last year my sister (mid 20's) and her ex husband (mid 50's) broke off their relationship. They had 3 kids, two of which are autistic. They were living in St Charles Missouri. My sister moved in with my parents and me. We live in Illinois. Nathan (the father) got an order of protection on my sister on the kids' behalf. Eventually it got dropped, and my sister could see the kids every other week.
Then, once the divorce got finalized my sister moved to New Mexico to help with a ministry. Nathan intimidated her into not fighting for even partial custody of the kids (my sister has had some psychological problems in the past), so he got full custody and she got visitation rights. They had worked out that she would get the kids for a week every 3 months. Also, my parents were granted grandparents' rights, so they were getting the kids every other weekend. When they were here my sister would talk to them via webcam.
But things have ended up going bad. My sister contacted the school to see when the kids' next break would be so she could buy her airline tickets to come up here. The school said the kids had been pulled out of school on the 9th with Nathan saying they were going to be moving and he'd get the new school to get in contact with them to get records. Then a few days later my sister got a letter from Nathan saying he was moving, and giving his new address, which is in New York (vandalia?).
My parents, who were suppose to get the kids last weekend, tried calling Nathan to find out what was going on, but his phone has been disconnected, and his old house is empty. So when we started talking to my sister about what was going on, she decided to look up his new address. No such residence. So she contacted the police, who drove around the neighborhood where Nathan told her he would be living. No such residency, no one new in the neighborhood, nothing.
So as it stands right now we don't know where the kids are, we have no way to get in contact with their father, and the police won't do anything about it because my sister doesn't have custody. Apparently visitation rights only mean anything in Missouri if you can prove that the other party has moved out of state, which we can't do. This guy has a history of disappearing. He hasn't paid taxes for the last 20 years. He used to be a drug dealer. He's an asshole.
So I'm looking for any advice on how we could find this guy. I have a few ideas (one of them which might get me sued, but it might be worth it if we could get him to come out of hiding), but I'd love to hear any suggestions. We're worried about how this change will affect the kids, considering how young they are (2/3/4) and that two of them are autistic.
My main idea is to start an online campaign to find him, using pictures of him and descriptions of the kids to get someone to notify us if they've seen him. And to also tell people exactly what kind of guy he is. Considering he's threated to sue me before for slander when I had some info about him up on my livejournal, it might pull him out of hiding to sue me, which would at least put him and the kids back on the map for us.
So, any ideas? If people need more info I'd be happy to share it (within reason).
No I don't.
Death of Rats on
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What he's doing is illegal, and the police should be involved. Lawyers will also likely need to be involved.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
I don't know how the whole child custody thing works, but if a parent has visitation rights, isn't it the other parties responsibility to ensure that those rights are fufilled?
Then again, I'm not really sure on the law. I'm hoping someone who is will wander in here to give advice.
2. You should hire a Private Investigator. They have lots of ways to track down a man with kids in tow. Their last school, for example, should keep the appropriate records as to where the children are currently enrolled in school. Pediatrician records are another way. Children make it harder for someone to fall off the grid completely.
Both of these things needed to have been done yesterday. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to find him. Don't waste time with putting his information online. The odds of someone seeing it and giving a damn (unless you're offering a nice cash bounty and are willing to wade through the false alarms) are slim to none. Besides, you don't know where he is at, so it is that much more difficult to focus an internet campaign.
EDIT: It varies from state to state, but generally, if one party violates the other's custody/visitation rights, it is a matter of contempt of court. It all depends on how the order(s) of court are worded.
Sorry I couldn't be more help, but I really hope all goes well. This is a really sad story to read. Keep us updated.
It could help. If he's not willing to file on her behalf, then he could at least direct her to someone who can/will. I'm not sure how the PA program works in Missouri.
I've already told my sister she needs to get a lawyer, but unfortunately she doesn't really have any money. And I'm sure a private investigator would be just as much if not more expensive. It was hard enough for her to find an attorney to work pro bono for the divorce... I'm not sure if she'd be able to find anyone for this.
One thing, we're wondering if we somehow were able to turn him into the IRS (he hasn't paid taxes in 20 years. We actually think that might be why he dissapeared this time. This is the time of year where they start investigating people) if that would lead to us finding out where he is.