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Write your own self-help book.
Tostitos
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When I grew up, my parents had a lot of books. Actually, that doesn't really invoke the magnitude involved here. Try a metric fuck-tonne* of books, ranging in quality from antique books from the 1800s-1900s that they let me read and sometimes fuck up 
to an entire wall covered in first edition civil war history written by people that were there, to 1980s self-help books that they probably bought for shits and giggles. I learned something interesting from my parents, and that was if you scour enough bullshit you can start assembling a pattern out of the actual realistic information buried within, sort of like gold dust in a stream of cliche.
I just finished leafing through the genre of 'self help' related to 'being a salesman' which, if you are looking for irritating crap, is a good place to entertain yourself. I had a brilliant idea, and by brilliant I mean I drank a lot of coffee and I might as well do something with my time.
I'm adding up little bits of life wisdom from my experience that can be canned into sentence headings, like so:
Do it fucking now
Chemically augment yourself
Sunshine is important for everyone, even you
The people who said violence never solves anything, lied
They were also lying about money and happiness
Greed is good
Karma is as real as you make it
Read a book
Paranoia is "well prepared" when it actually happens
etc.
You could and should post the same!
*The UK fuck-tonne is approximately two giga-fucks larger than the American fuck-ton.
to an entire wall covered in first edition civil war history written by people that were there, to 1980s self-help books that they probably bought for shits and giggles. I learned something interesting from my parents, and that was if you scour enough bullshit you can start assembling a pattern out of the actual realistic information buried within, sort of like gold dust in a stream of cliche.I just finished leafing through the genre of 'self help' related to 'being a salesman' which, if you are looking for irritating crap, is a good place to entertain yourself. I had a brilliant idea, and by brilliant I mean I drank a lot of coffee and I might as well do something with my time.
I'm adding up little bits of life wisdom from my experience that can be canned into sentence headings, like so:
Do it fucking now
Chemically augment yourself
Sunshine is important for everyone, even you
The people who said violence never solves anything, lied
They were also lying about money and happiness
Greed is good
Karma is as real as you make it
Read a book
Paranoia is "well prepared" when it actually happens
etc.
You could and should post the same!
*The UK fuck-tonne is approximately two giga-fucks larger than the American fuck-ton.
The internet gives me a native +2 bonus in Craft (Disturbing Mental Image).
Tostitos on
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Posts
Self-help books suck, don't listen to some jackass who probably has just as many problems as you but feels like he has some great foresight to fixing people that he can make money from.
-Make sure that you balance out hours when you're using pot with hours using Aderal, the two balance each other out inside your head.
-Violence is not the way, threatening violence is.
-Unless you're dealing with an Inquisitor who can handle Level 1 interrogation techniques
-If you understand what the last point was, you're a fucking nerd.
Violence is better than threatening violence if you have a means to an end with that violence. Violence for the sake of violence is for people with the brains of an ape and / or rappers.
I've found the opposite.
-The (rich white) people that are pushing that poison aren't your friends.
-Don't read the Youtube comments.
How do you mean, like drugs? Or botox?
Anything that works. I used to abuse caffeine. Now when I need to get 'in the zone,' I can spend a half hour meditating my way there, or down a shot and be there quicker. I suppose if I were going to be in a fistfight, I might do some cocaine first. If I were working manual labor and needed to unwind after a long, tedious day, I might drink beer, or I might pack a bowl. (I avoid marijuana as it makes my mind and reflexes slow which is the exact opposite of my current desires)
There are lots and lots of very useful, valuable self-help books. There's also lots of schlock out there. That doesn't invalidate the good ones. Mostly it's about the pedigree of the writer. Books written by people with real educations (Eric Berne, Carl Rogers, etc) are often excellent, and often more specific than the schlock.
Though I have to say that "don't read the YouTube comments" is pretty good advice all-around.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Certainly not if you want to retain any shreds of faith in humanity.
I was dating this girl while she worked for a psychologist who was one of the co-authors on this book and a few others. Those books were pretty good, because they (A) were written by licensed professionals with strong experience and (B) they gave concrete specific advice for people to manage their own problems.
But I do think that the majority of self-help books are crap, and it's kind of hard for the regular consumer to tell the crap from the good stuff.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Also, the people who actually could make use of them don't have the expertise to separate the crap from the good ones, or they wouldn't need the books to start with.
Yeah, the more specific, the better, in general. I know a lot of them are absolute crap, and I held the opinion that it was a worthless genre basically until I took a class dedicated to them.
That said, here are mine:
Always find time for yourself -or- Commute time is "me" time
It's great to be flexible, but bend too far and you'll snap
Job satisfaction is less about what you do and more about who you do it with
The people who tell you marriage and children are the ends of fun & freedom are idiots
that's a terrible title
*Alien devourers of souls can be adorable
*Snowpants keep snow out, but they also keep snow in
*3 AM is for sleeping, not for working
*Don't get a bullshit major (or, "Lubchenko Learn Nothing! Nothing!")
*All majors are bullshit when you enter the workforce
*You haven't bought enough copies of this book
Yeah, there are definitely a lot that could stand to be a pamphlet and still get their point across. If you want some real, mind-numbing crap, read Real Love by Dr. Greg Baer.
Protip: Fucker's a dentist. And an asshole. I met with him privately for the class I mentioned earlier and talked to him about his book. He's so stupid it hurt my brain.
(I never knew that cyclopean arcitecture or non-euclidean woodwork existed outside of Lovecraft stories until I tried to make sense of the cabinetry upstairs)
Yeah.
They're good tools - under the best situation, a therapist or doctor might give one to a patient as "homework."
That said, there's nothing to stop a bad therapist from writing a bad book that other bad therapists then push on their clients. One therapist I used to work with told every single patient that they met the criteria for a "Highly Sensitive Person" and had them go out and buy the the book of the same title after the first session.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
^ the problem with most self-help books. Just because something's right for the author doesn't mean it's right for everybody. Some people need to be quieter; some more outgoing. Some people need to think less and feel more, some the exact opposite.
In fact, we don't really need self-help books. You can learn everything you possibly need about life just from the tech tree quotes in Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
That videogame was so amazing.
If you were any more right you'd have invented the airplane.
*Live as close as you can to where you work
*Peanut butter is the devil
*Don't work in a cubicle
Can we get a quote list? :winky:
http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/file/96102/7929
Some of them aren't as cool out of context from the game, but they're still cool.
Also, spoilers.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
So what are some of the good self-help books? One that I've heard good things about - although technically (and tellingly) it's not really categorized as self-help - is Deborah Tannen's You Just Don't Understand.
Chapter 1: Grow a Fucking Sack
Text of Chapter 1: Seriously, grow a fucking sack.
A sack of bananas, apples, pears, potatoes, what!?
Harden the fuck up, Australia!
Yesssss
Fuck - aside from my friends liking my wife - I live about 45 minutes from working in my cubicle in which I love to eat PB&J. Does this mean I fail?
Some girls' mothers are bigger than others.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.