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chilling with a hot chick I want bad.
DarkSymphony
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
ok I went to a party last week. big party. This incredibly hot chick was there. I met her, did the outgoing thing and made myself the center of attention of the party (but in the fun way where people weren't pissed at me). This girl is incredible. Drop dead gorgeous and mad fun at a party.
I leave the party early in an altered state and sleep early. They apparently went to a bonfire near a beach somewhere. She asked my new co worker for my number and texted me the next day asking how I was and just a general "it be soandso, how you be?". We've been texting constantly back and forth for the last 2-3 days with general stuff (nothing out there) such as "we should hang again (me)" and "yeah whenever you're free this week let's chill (her)". I asked her specifically if she meant that she wanted to hang out again at a party scene, but she said she wanted to hang out like normal. It was implied she meant me and her with a possibility of 1 other friend of hers (my co worker who is the shit).
Now, I am dead set on NOT getting sucked into the "you're like a brother" stupid bullshit. I'm cool if she's not interested in more than friends (I mean I can't really change that per se, but then again the more than friends stuff wouldn't come until later anyways), but damn I *have* to take this chance regardless of how small it may actually be to get with this girl.
My situation comes down to being able to tell whether or not I should (with the given information) try and bother with it or if at this point, there just isn't enough there to go for it.
I dated a psychotic girlf for 2 years so I'm kinda jaded on some things. I wouldn't normally have a problem with this kind of thing and I would just go for the glory....but good fucking god, this is the first time in years I've been nervous around ANY girl or for that fact, intimidated simply because she's so fucking hot.
I have that "guys like me don't get girls like that" mentality and I'm trying to convince myself out of it.
Given this info (and this is literally all of it at this point), do I go all guts and glory? is her asking my coworker for my number after I had left the party a telling sign at all whatsoever?
I leave the party early in an altered state and sleep early. They apparently went to a bonfire near a beach somewhere. She asked my new co worker for my number and texted me the next day asking how I was and just a general "it be soandso, how you be?". We've been texting constantly back and forth for the last 2-3 days with general stuff (nothing out there) such as "we should hang again (me)" and "yeah whenever you're free this week let's chill (her)". I asked her specifically if she meant that she wanted to hang out again at a party scene, but she said she wanted to hang out like normal. It was implied she meant me and her with a possibility of 1 other friend of hers (my co worker who is the shit).
Now, I am dead set on NOT getting sucked into the "you're like a brother" stupid bullshit. I'm cool if she's not interested in more than friends (I mean I can't really change that per se, but then again the more than friends stuff wouldn't come until later anyways), but damn I *have* to take this chance regardless of how small it may actually be to get with this girl.
My situation comes down to being able to tell whether or not I should (with the given information) try and bother with it or if at this point, there just isn't enough there to go for it.
I dated a psychotic girlf for 2 years so I'm kinda jaded on some things. I wouldn't normally have a problem with this kind of thing and I would just go for the glory....but good fucking god, this is the first time in years I've been nervous around ANY girl or for that fact, intimidated simply because she's so fucking hot.
I have that "guys like me don't get girls like that" mentality and I'm trying to convince myself out of it.
Given this info (and this is literally all of it at this point), do I go all guts and glory? is her asking my coworker for my number after I had left the party a telling sign at all whatsoever?
DarkSymphony on
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I don't think you're going to get the "you're a really great friend" thing if you go get drinks or something with her.
Good God man yes, you're in, now just keep on doing what you're doing and don't over-think things too much.
I had this situation with a co-worker of mine almost 10 years ago. Smoking hot. She even kissed me one night in my car, and I never pulled the trigger and slept with her. I REGRET IT TO THIS DAY!!! Don't be me.
No man should have that kind of power.(Twitter)
Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!
As always, the Doctor knows best. This woman has made it about as clear as she can without begging you... don't make her beg. Now is your chance, now is your time. Treat your next meeting with her like a date... if you go in worrying that it might be a "friend" thing, you might end up convincing her that it should be a friend thing instead of what seems to obviously be on her mind. I mean, she wouldn't ask someone else for your number, message you for 2-3 days, and then ask you to hang just with her if she just really wanted to be your friend.
I mean, I could be wrong... but it seems like this is a home run, slam dunk, QB Sneak into the end zone. A shot on the goal when the goalie's stormed off of the field in a drunken rage. A hurdles race without the hurdles and with all the other competitors bound and gagged. The Tour de France, except they gave you a car to drive in and everyone else is riding tricycles.
I mean, after everything you've said, if she's not interested in you then she's not a member of this planet, and obviously the alien force that commanded her here didn't teach her that getting a man's number from another person, calling them/texting them for days, and then asking them to go out with just you means "I want you really bad" in earth-talk... and in that case, you're better off without because who knows what kind of alien experiments she wanted to do on you.
The thing is about those pitfalls you're talking about trying to avoid... they're going to be unavoidable. I mean, it *could* turn out that she's not actually interested. But the odds are so overwhelmingly in the favor of her being interested that it'd be unwise to not at least try. Like most things, this situation is a game of odds... and the odds are stacked in your favor. Heavily. She could turn out not to be interested in you... she could also be an alien, as in the theoretical scenario I posed above. To me, the odds are about the same that either of those are true... if that gives you an example of how likely it is that she's interested.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is go for it.
You'll be just fine so long as you don't actually talk like this in real life...
It's perfectly possible that she's a fine honey who wants to get wid dat.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
Changing the way you are to impress her would be the pitfall you're trying to avoid.
Part 2: If you talk like you type, stop it immediately. If, on the other hand, you do not talk like you type, I suggest bringing your typing up to the level of your talking.
http://fantasy.premierleague.com/my-leagues/
The join code for the CLASSIC league: 214755-65927
The join code for the HEAD-TO-HEAD league: 5294-3346
It is a collection of knowledge that I have obtained over the years through my experiences as well as the experiences of others.
I know there are lots of people in this world who suck at reading, so I've gone through and highlighted the important parts.
Take that link with a huge grain of salt.
didnt you know
all women are looking for the same thing
A good generalization for all relationship advice:
Go with your gut, not your brain and certainly not your balls.
How about just, as you go along, adapting to the other human individual you're with?
You guys can deny it all you want, but it's the truth.
How many times have you seen the loser with no job that's basically a jerk to women with no shortage of girls pining at his feet to be his next girlfriend?
The principals are basic... There are rudimentary subliminal urges that you are dealing with here.
From what he's said so far, he's already following the Man Bible without knowing it. If he says he really likes this girl and she's REALLY HOT, that's a time when he needs to be on top of his game and not become some obedient puppy dog that will bend over backwards to her every whim like all the guys before him did.
Like I said, you can dig yourself into a hole by attempting to apply stuff that's generally true to a specific situation.
You do understand the distinction, right?
This is a slam dunk.
She clearly liked what she saw at the party. Just be yourself with her, assuming you were acting in your typical way at the party, and you should be golden. And by golden I mean have a good date.
I understand the distinction. And in my opinion, the information that I presented still stands as valid to his situation.
That link goes far beyond the jerk to women. It tells us not to say "I love you" back to the women who love us and say so. That's dumb.
Ask her out and for Christ's sake, don't think about your 'psychotic girlf'. New person. New deal.
And getting laid isn't exactly a bad goal. Problem is, the guide also has parts geared towards longer term relationships where it fails to apply in a useful manner.
Getting laid is fine if that's what both people want, but most of what's in there is specifically talking about things other than one-night-stands.
Do ask her out, and don't pay attention to most of the stuff that's in there.
Or that their actions tell you what they want, no their words.
So, you know "her mouth said no but her eyes said yes."
To be honest, I thought you were linking to it as a joke, but that's neither here, nor there...
You must be a sympathizer of the Ladder theory, I take it (Oh, sorry, here's the Wikipedia one). However, you do know that the Alpha-male myth is just something made up by self-identified "Beta-males" in a fit of confirmation bias, so they can wallow in their own self-pity and incompetence (social and otherwise), as well as generalize, as to why women aren't seeing how completely super-awesome and super-nice (or whatever) they think they are, as well as castigate them for it?
Desperate to avoid accountability, they create patterns where there aren't any to explain their lack of success. Must be that women are genetically/biologically predetermined to be dominated and be attracted to dependence, passivity and poor treatment. As long as that sociopath of a man cracks the whip, all doubts just melt away. What other reason could there be, right?
Except, the "asshole" they end up with is just a scapegoat. Just projection on the actual "loser's" part.
Rudimentary subliminal urges? You're an authority on psychology or neurology or biology now? Evo-psych prof, perhaps? Maybe gender studies?
At the most, this is a cliché-smacked manual that could possibly be used in the short term to manipulate people who have really been skullfucked by gender roles, like what you might find in an advice column or article in an 80's men's magazine (or any men's magazine or lifestyle doctrine, for that matter. [Something that could be derived from a book by Ayn Rand, perhaps? /snark]). Not saying that you wouldn't be quite successful in that kind of a scenario, though.
Just don't get pissy, make assumptions and/or become abusive towards those you've decided to pursue, when what your dogma has taught you doesn't prove to be compatible with reality.
It's not the Holy Grail. Not the Bible. Even the Bible isn't the Bible, if you get my drift. Don't ever try to pass it off as "The Truth™".
(As part of writing this, I just re-read some more of that link and it's fucking sexist. Really. The very definition of it. )
In a situation where everyone is so lacking in self-confidence, it makes sense that people who are actually assholes might appear to be super sure of them selves and bursting with self-confidence, and be highly attractive to girls.
I agree. I have no doubts it would work as a useful tool of manipulation in a defective environment like that.
Don't think the OP is in high school anymore, though, but I'm not sure.
Whatever. I wish the OP good luck.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
Do this again, just scaled back.
You're taking that completely out of context, as are the rest of you, which I'd be willing to bet are mostly women, or men who have extreme female tendencies.
Actions ARE the truth. NOT words. Words are practically meaningless. It's what you DO that matters.
Your girlfriend can "say" that she loves you, tell you that you're her world at the same time she's fvcking every Tom, Dick, and Harry that crosses her path. But you'll hold on to her words, right? Because they are what matters.
Fail.
ACTIONS, speak... not words.
This guide is a reality check, plain and simple. It is not sugar coated. It's not meant for feminists or weak males that are content being so.
It is also not meant to teach you to be an ass to women. It is to teach you to be a man, not some weak minded emotional "yes dear" man that society has conditioned us to be.
Society has conditioned men to be like women and women to be like men. This is inherently unstable for both genders involved.
Alpha-Males do exist and to think otherwise is ignorance.
With that being said, I feel like I have hijacked this thread from the OP which was not my intention. His interactions thus far have followed very close to the man bible.. and guess what? She can't get enough of him. What does that say? I thought he would he would appreciate the man bible as he has already started down that path.
Condemn it all you want, but it works.