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[Skank on] Sex and the City movie thread
TehChowd
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, uh, the Sex and the City movie comes out in like 4 days. For those of us with girlfriends who happen to have strong dragging arms, we're probably going to have a shitty time in like 4 days. I've only seen a few episodes myself, late at night when I'm too tired or comfortable to argue with the missus about changing the channel. I thought, though, that instead of doing my usual lurk-job on the forums, I would to a little public service posting to catch everyone up on the show and what's going to go down in the movie.
Some Background
Sex and the City is about four women who are friends. They live in Manhattan, and I guess have jobs even though you never see them working on the show. They have romantic relationships with guys, and talk with each other about said relationships, which I gather is supposed to be the novel concept for the show. You know, women being real and talking about sex and men and what they think about it all. The discussions occasionally lapse into talking about dildos or bikini waxings, which while a welcome reprieve from "olol men are so confusing," you're seriously kidding yourself if you're expecting any good dildo jokes to come your way over the course of an episode or the movie. The show lasted for 6 seasons, and I guess there was a running plot or something, but I couldn't tell you what it was besides that the 4 women have mixed feelings about their romantic relationships.
IMPORTANT CONTEXTUAL NOTE:
The main characters of the series are supposed to be in their mid-thirties from what I can gather, and not their mid-fifties, which is pretty much how they look. Also, they're supposed to be alive, and not corpses controlled by talented puppeteers. I know, surprised me too.
THE CHARACTERS
CARRIE BRADSHAW
Played by Sarah Jessica Parker, she is the main character of the show. As the picture above hints, she is supposed to be getting married to longtime boyfriend "Mr. Big" in the movie, and is also maybe a witch.
Carrie is apparently the Hemmingway of relationship columnists, somehow able to exist among the Manhattan elite writing a few articles about relationships a month. She is also the narrator for the series (similar to how Scrubs is with J.D.), and if you want to hear something really amazing, listen to how Parker can deliver horrible, cliché narration in exactly the same cadence and pitch each episode. Interestingly, her narration is sometimes supposed to be directly from her column, so during the course of the episode/movie you'll get a chance to her some of that 6k-an-article writing.
SAMANTHA JONES
Played by Kim Cattral of Big Trouble in little China fame. She's just as annoying in this series, and about twice as old.
Samantha is supposed to be the older, slutty one on the show. In the movie, I think she's falling/falls in love with some surfer stud who's like 25 and looks pretty much like a Ken Doll. Samantha is also the one who hands out most of the trashy one-liners in the show, like "Dildo? More like Dil-don't! Am I right ladies?" Priceless. She is also one of two characters that is constantly incredulous, the other being. . .
CHARLOTTE YORK
Charlotte is played by Kristen Davis. She is the young, conservative one. She is also insanely incredulous to everything, no matter how commonplace an occurrence actually is. "What? Carrie slept with that guy after like half a date?" "What, that dog is on a leash?" You get the idea. The only other thing you need to know about Charlotte is that the difference between this:
and this:
is zero.
MIRANDA HOBBES
Played by Cynthia Nixon, Miranda is the slightly quirky, cynical workaholic. She is clearly a vampire, and is also known to eat the still-beating hearts of children for dark sustenance. I guess in the movie she's having relationship troubles or something. Probably due to not eating enough baby-hearts.
Synopsis of the Movie
I was going to research what actually happens in the movie, and end this post with a nice, informed blurb, but then I decided it would probably be more fun to guess, then later see how right I am. So, here's my take on the Plot:
"Four years after the end of the TV series, the 4 not-witches' lives have changed. In some ways they're better off, and in other ways they're worse. Over however long this movie is supposed to be, each of the women will confront doubts they have about themselves and/or significant others. Triumphing over said doubts will likely come from given/inferred advice from the other 3, or in Carrie's case, from plucky and idealistic newcomer Jennifer Hudson. Shoes will be talked about, as probably a few faux-crude sexual topics, like blowjobs or penis-shape. The movie will end with the 4 of them walking towards the camera on a half-crowded sidewalk, in slow motion, to the theme music of the show."
TLDR: Some of us are going to see Sex and the City, half-against our will. Let's talk about it in a comic fashion.
Some Background
Sex and the City is about four women who are friends. They live in Manhattan, and I guess have jobs even though you never see them working on the show. They have romantic relationships with guys, and talk with each other about said relationships, which I gather is supposed to be the novel concept for the show. You know, women being real and talking about sex and men and what they think about it all. The discussions occasionally lapse into talking about dildos or bikini waxings, which while a welcome reprieve from "olol men are so confusing," you're seriously kidding yourself if you're expecting any good dildo jokes to come your way over the course of an episode or the movie. The show lasted for 6 seasons, and I guess there was a running plot or something, but I couldn't tell you what it was besides that the 4 women have mixed feelings about their romantic relationships.
IMPORTANT CONTEXTUAL NOTE:
The main characters of the series are supposed to be in their mid-thirties from what I can gather, and not their mid-fifties, which is pretty much how they look. Also, they're supposed to be alive, and not corpses controlled by talented puppeteers. I know, surprised me too.
THE CHARACTERS
CARRIE BRADSHAW
Played by Sarah Jessica Parker, she is the main character of the show. As the picture above hints, she is supposed to be getting married to longtime boyfriend "Mr. Big" in the movie, and is also maybe a witch.
Carrie is apparently the Hemmingway of relationship columnists, somehow able to exist among the Manhattan elite writing a few articles about relationships a month. She is also the narrator for the series (similar to how Scrubs is with J.D.), and if you want to hear something really amazing, listen to how Parker can deliver horrible, cliché narration in exactly the same cadence and pitch each episode. Interestingly, her narration is sometimes supposed to be directly from her column, so during the course of the episode/movie you'll get a chance to her some of that 6k-an-article writing.
SAMANTHA JONES
Played by Kim Cattral of Big Trouble in little China fame. She's just as annoying in this series, and about twice as old.
Samantha is supposed to be the older, slutty one on the show. In the movie, I think she's falling/falls in love with some surfer stud who's like 25 and looks pretty much like a Ken Doll. Samantha is also the one who hands out most of the trashy one-liners in the show, like "Dildo? More like Dil-don't! Am I right ladies?" Priceless. She is also one of two characters that is constantly incredulous, the other being. . .
CHARLOTTE YORK
Charlotte is played by Kristen Davis. She is the young, conservative one. She is also insanely incredulous to everything, no matter how commonplace an occurrence actually is. "What? Carrie slept with that guy after like half a date?" "What, that dog is on a leash?" You get the idea. The only other thing you need to know about Charlotte is that the difference between this:
and this:
is zero.
MIRANDA HOBBES
Played by Cynthia Nixon, Miranda is the slightly quirky, cynical workaholic. She is clearly a vampire, and is also known to eat the still-beating hearts of children for dark sustenance. I guess in the movie she's having relationship troubles or something. Probably due to not eating enough baby-hearts.
Synopsis of the Movie
I was going to research what actually happens in the movie, and end this post with a nice, informed blurb, but then I decided it would probably be more fun to guess, then later see how right I am. So, here's my take on the Plot:
"Four years after the end of the TV series, the 4 not-witches' lives have changed. In some ways they're better off, and in other ways they're worse. Over however long this movie is supposed to be, each of the women will confront doubts they have about themselves and/or significant others. Triumphing over said doubts will likely come from given/inferred advice from the other 3, or in Carrie's case, from plucky and idealistic newcomer Jennifer Hudson. Shoes will be talked about, as probably a few faux-crude sexual topics, like blowjobs or penis-shape. The movie will end with the 4 of them walking towards the camera on a half-crowded sidewalk, in slow motion, to the theme music of the show."
TLDR: Some of us are going to see Sex and the City, half-against our will. Let's talk about it in a comic fashion.
My comic -- http://www.leadpaintcomics.com
TehChowd on
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dilli di di di di di i
another paddy!
be you a dub?
All these women are whores
Characters:
A bunch of bitches and Sarah Jessica Parker is fucking ugly.
Synopsis:
Tons of dick references and Kim Cattral spends the entire movie being plowed more than snow after a blizzard
I could barely sit through the preview.
I am so glad.
she is a delicate flower that must be cherished by all testicle-ridden humans
and captain k
WEIIIIIRD
honestly even if SJP has her ugly moments she is incredibly likable and sweet
i am inclined to agree, i'd rather bang sandra oh
nope
yeah, she looks like a human being, which is a nice twist on the formula
Im pretty sure that wasn't People magazine
yeah i actually really like it
i chuckled a few times while reading it
in any case i still agree with them, as far as ugly celebrities go, she's pretty fucking high on the list
She really is quite ugly though.
oh my goodness I was thinking the exact same thing
maybe I have esp(n (so, how bout them lakers))
no I agree
but when it comes to who is 'hot' I seriously wonder who they're asking sometimes
anyway back on topic my mom is dragging me to see this movie so whatever
And it also has one of the catchiest musical themes ever.