Live by the sword, live a good long time

Jedoc

The sword was the first weapon which was only used for killing folks. Up until then, most weapons were just tools or hunting equipment which was occasionally used to kill some dude. Or they were clubs. But honestly, clubs are just repurposed sticks, and screw that.

Some swords are plain.

Some swords are fancy as hell.

Some swords were used on horseback.

Some swords were used on foot.

Some swords are French, and should probably be ashamed of themselves.

It's like they sat down and said “How can we keep the blatant phallic imagery without that dangerous pointy bit?”

Some swords don't exist, but really should.

Some swords are just completely overrated.

I mean Jesus guys, it's a good sword but it's not worth ruining a perfectly good set of underwear over.

Here's my favorite sword:

The gladius hispaniensis. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker on the continent, accept no substitutes. This was the blade that built Western civilization, one disemboweled German at a time.



The Romans saw your fancy swordplay and girly fencing and decided they wanted no part of it. They sat down at the drawing table and drew a straight line between two boxes labeled “Dude giving me guff” and “Dude trying to stuff his intestines back in.”

It was the primary weapon of the Roman Legion for six hundred damned years. Some historians reckon it's got a higher body count than any single weapon up until the AK-47.

Fuck yeah. Swords.

STATE OF THE ART ROBOT

Pointy end towards enemy.

Dadouw

French swords huh

Metzger Meister

We found two swords in the attic at my grandpa's auto-wrecking/tow-truck yard. One was a civil war cavalry sabre, with a shark-skin and brass wire-wrapped hilt. With the scabbard, which we don't have, it would be worth nine g's.

A parade sword of similar date was also found, with scabbard, with the officer's name inscribed into the blade, as well as the engravers' names.

Iskander

Jedoc wrote: »

Some swords are plain.

To be fair, these huge suckers were mostly used to break people's bones rather than cut.

J3p

Did someone say zweihander?

ZWEIHAAAANDDEEERRRRRRR

also flamberge if you will

trentsteel

I have always relied on swords for home defence.

Metzger Meister

What about scimitars and shamshirs?

Robcham

how about some lightsabers

trentsteel

he's got lightsabers up there

Jedoc

Man, I forgot to include macuahuitl.

Big damned cricket bats edged with one of the sharpest naturally-occurring substances in the world. The conquistadors claimed that it could decapitate a horse at a stroke.

bsjezz

the only good thing about this thread is that it reminded me of soul calibur

#pipe

With regards to balance, reliability, craftsmanship and strength to sharpness, Katanas are widely regarded as the perfect sword Jedoc.

widely

Your gladius certainly was a successful sword, but generally only when accompanied by a shield and spear.

bsjezz

Jedoc wrote: »

Man, I forgot to include macuahuitl.

Big damned cricket bats edged with one of the sharpest naturally-occurring substances in the world. The conquistadors claimed that it could decapitate a horse at a stroke.

dude that's a baseball bat with sponge on it

Quadrophenia

One time when I went to Japan I went to a sword museum. It was not super interesting. It was just a bunch of blades behind glass. Most of the exhibits were not completely swords, just blades. I did, however, see a demonstration at a high school where a dude and some kids sliced up a rolled up tatami mat. They were part of a club that practiced a martial art called iaido. Cooool!

I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up

you also forgot

best sword

used in wutang style

which is the best style

bsjezz

it should also be noted that the pen is mightier than the sword

#pipe

That is some maxwell smart type shit

I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up

bsjezz wrote: »

it should also be noted that the pen is mightier than the sword

final fantasy VIII 2s main character is using one of those

Goatmon

#pipe wrote: »

That is some maxwell smart type shit

Like Maxwell Smart doesn't have enough hidden guns.

Jedoc

#pipe wrote: »

With regards to balance, reliability, craftsmanship and strength to sharpness, Katanas are widely regarded as the perfect sword Jedoc.

widely

Your gladius certainly was a successful sword, but generally only when accompanied by a shield and spear.

Well, you're right. But in terms of fictional portrayal, and especially in terms of internet discussions, the katana has been really, really over-represented. Saturation of the market. And there's a lot more cool and strange swords out there that we can talk about rather than returning to the argument over how many silk hankies a samurai can cut through before breakfast.

bsjezz

man what forums have you been going to?

if there's one type of sword over-represented in social entropy it's certainly not a katana

Shorty

my personal favorite sword is the barong



it saw use in WWII by filipino jungle fighters

they looked at the katana and thought to themselves

"man the reach on that thing is brutal. but what if we get inside of it?"

so they paired the barong's heavy blade with a style of eskrima which uses very close-quarters strikes

the end of that equation is lots of disembowled japanese soldiers

Metzger Meister

Lesson?

Don't fuck with Filipinos.



Ever.


edit: Also hook swords are kinda cool.

Mangoes

My great grandfather took a sword from a Japanese body when he was in World War II. Later, my Great Grandmother, not knowing the value, sold it for about 5 dollars.

#pipe

Shorty wrote: »

my personal favorite sword is the barong



it saw use in WWII by filipino jungle fighters

they looked at the katana and thought to themselves

"man the reach on that thing is brutal. but what if we get inside of it?"

so they paired the barong's heavy blade with a style of eskrima which uses very close-quarters strikes

the end of that equation is lots of disembowled japanese soldiers

If filipino soldiers failed their marksmanship test, they were deployed with nothing but a Barong.

Metzger Meister

CapnMango wrote: »

My great grandfather took a sword from a Japanese body when he was in World War II. Later, my Great Grandmother, not knowing the value, sold it for about 5 dollars.

You know... usually, I'd say there's no reason to ever, ever hit a woman.


edit: how many of those soldiers with just the barong do you think made it through the war, pipe? just out of curiosity.

Olivaw

Don Diego de la Vega: Do you know how to use that thing?
Alejandro Murrieta: Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.

Also, a kickass sword is that one from Egypt, the Khopesh



Look at that shit, it's cool as hell

Tweaked_Bat_

These babies are pretty classy -


But I agree with you about the gladius hispaniensis.

#pipe

Man a rapier or an eppe ain't no faggoty shit

if it's in the hands of a skilled fencer

you will die by it very quickly indeed

mastman

I thought this thread was going to be about Highlander

Metzger Meister

#pipe wrote: »

Man a rapier or an eppe ain't no faggoty shit

if it's in the hands of a skilled fencer

you will die by it very quickly indeed

what if i break it with my broadsword.


and then decide to beat their head in with the pommel.

#pipe

arod_77

Sword canes are for people who wear trench coats during the summer.

Metzger Meister

#pipe wrote: »

http://www.imperialweapons.com/swords/Gen2/Ip-201a.JPG

COUNTER!

If you know anything about Jim Bowie you'll understand why this is a shrewd move on my part.

Iskander

#pipe wrote: »

Wow that thing is just DUMB

#pipe

somebody buy me this plz

Goatmon

Metzger Meister wrote: »

#pipe wrote: »

Man a rapier or an eppe ain't no faggoty shit

if it's in the hands of a skilled fencer

you will die by it very quickly indeed

what if i break it with my broadsword.


and then decide to beat their head in with the pommel.

Rapiers are very light and good at getting in very fast. With how heavy Broadswords are, you'd almost certainly get hit first going against one of those.

arod_77

Metzger Meister wrote: »

#pipe wrote: »

http://www.imperialweapons.com/swords/Gen2/Ip-201a.JPG

COUNTER!

If you know anything about Jim Bowie you'll understand why this is a shrewd move on my part.

ZeroFill

#pipe wrote: »

Shorty wrote: »

my personal favorite sword is the barong



it saw use in WWII by filipino jungle fighters

they looked at the katana and thought to themselves

"man the reach on that thing is brutal. but what if we get inside of it?"

so they paired the barong's heavy blade with a style of eskrima which uses very close-quarters strikes

the end of that equation is lots of disembowled japanese soldiers

If filipino soldiers failed their marksmanship test, they were deployed with nothing but a Barong.

The Navy employs these guys to handle our gate security at some of the bases in the middle east, like Bahrain.

These guys do not fuck around. They carry these huge blades on their belt along with grenades and M16s. 90% of them are ex-filipino military.

Metzger Meister

Jesus Christ that website is awesome. I want those self-defense gloves, some shurikens, some nunchaku and a neckbeard NOW.


edit: FUCK YOU AROD I SPELLED IT RIGHT :<