Hey guys, I was wondering if you could give me a little feedback on my comic, called Calamities of Nature. I have a couple example pages posted below. I've shared my comic with a few webcomic forums in the past, but I figured the crowd here might give me some unique feedback and insight to help me with my artwork (i.e., I know you guys will be honest). Thanks.
The biggest problem I see is that the characters have two mouth styles: open and closed. It's like CAD, except it has jokes and poses, and you aren't a self-absorbed prick.*
Other than that, there's no part of it I would call terrible. Someone who is better at finding errors and suggesting fixes will be along shortly. :P
And drawn backgrounds, and improvements over time, and variation, and website design skills, and
The biggest problem I see is that the characters have two mouth styles: open and closed. It's like CAD, except it has jokes and poses, and you aren't a self-absorbed prick.
As long as I'm not a self-absorbed prick, I've succeeded. Thanks. :P
Yeah, it tends to be. I've heard about it several times as a general rule of cross-hatching. right angles tend to make the space into a "checkerboard" instead of implying shadow.
My only advice is to draw a different mouth for every frame. I believe it will make your comics feel more alive. I like the art style and the fact that you do not make videogame jokes already makes you awesome.
My only advice is to draw a different mouth for every frame. I believe it will make your comics feel more alive. I like the art style and the fact that you do not make videogame jokes already makes you awesome.
Thanks. I really need to work on this.
Not making video game jokes comes easy for me, since I play them so little (what are you doing reading penny arcade!!! you ask)
First one made me laugh, second one is good to, Everyone already touched on it with drawing the different mouths, most of the facial expressions are exactly the same. It could help sell the humor if you brought a little more expression into the faces.
Oh and it is ok to listen to Michael Jacksons songs... pre 1993.
winter_combat_knight on
0
MustangArbiter of Unpopular OpinionsRegistered Userregular
edited June 2008
As long as you don't do the moonwalk or grab your balls it's ok to like mike.
Characters need more expressions like MKR said, the jokes are almost there they just need a little tweaking
eg.
Panel 2
C1: How dare you accuse me of being a homophobe, i've never been so insulted.
C2: Homophone!? Two words that sound the same...geddit?
Panel 3
C1: Ohhh, so what's a homophobe then?
C2: Someone who fears and hates homosexuals.
Panel 4
C1: (happily apiphinised) Like that time I beat the living piss out of those two queers?
C2: (sullenly) yes....like that time.
EDIT: Then again even PA's jokes suck some times....you can't hit home runs ALL the time. Just reading trough your website...I really quite like the comic, comparing you to Tim Buckley is like comparing silver bullion to cat shit......your silver bullion by the way.......PA is gold bullion....so you still have work to do.....so don't get cockey.
As long as you don't do the moonwalk or grab your balls it's ok to like mike.
Characters need more expressions like MKR said, the jokes are almost there they just need a little tweaking
eg.
Panel 2
C1: How dare you accuse me of being a homophobe, i've never been so insulted.
C2: Homophone!? Two words that sound the same...geddit?
Panel 3
C1: Ohhh, so what's a homophobe then?
C2: Someone who fears and hates homosexuals.
Panel 4
C1: (happily apiphinised) Like that time I beat the living piss out of those two queers?
C2: (sullenly) yes....like that time.
EDIT: Then again even PA's jokes suck some times....you can't hit home runs ALL the time. Just reading trough your website...I really quite like the comic, comparing you to Tim Buckley is like comparing silver bullion to cat shit......your silver bullion by the way.......PA is gold bullion....so you still have work to do.....so don't get cockey.
Thanks for the suggestions. I agree about tightening up my writing. I think your panel 2 edit is much better. It reads faster and more naturally. Your punchline is still funny, but not really my type of humor. I wouldn't say I'm really that subtle, but "...I beat the living piss out of those two queers..." is a little over the top for me.
And by the way, thanks everyone for their suggestions. I'm really glad I posted to this forum because this feedback is great.
tpiro on
0
Captain ElevenThe last card is a kronkRegistered Userregular
edited June 2008
I really like those comics you posted. My only suggestions are ones that were already posted... draw some more varied facial expressions, and maybe some little tweaks to the writing. Keep up the good work! :^:
The humor is too placid for me, but I think the dialogue is solid. Something I feel I should give you a pat on the back for are the backgrounds, they're great, its nice to see more than a doodle comic. :^:
Posts
Other than that, there's no part of it I would call terrible. Someone who is better at finding errors and suggesting fixes will be along shortly. :P
But everything is wrong with listening to R. Kelly.
As long as I'm not a self-absorbed prick, I've succeeded. Thanks. :P
That's interesting. I haven't heard that one before. Is it too distracting to the eye?
Thanks. I really need to work on this.
Not making video game jokes comes easy for me, since I play them so little (what are you doing reading penny arcade!!! you ask)
Oh and it is ok to listen to Michael Jacksons songs... pre 1993.
Characters need more expressions like MKR said, the jokes are almost there they just need a little tweaking
eg.
Panel 2
C1: How dare you accuse me of being a homophobe, i've never been so insulted.
C2: Homophone!? Two words that sound the same...geddit?
Panel 3
C1: Ohhh, so what's a homophobe then?
C2: Someone who fears and hates homosexuals.
Panel 4
C1: (happily apiphinised) Like that time I beat the living piss out of those two queers?
C2: (sullenly) yes....like that time.
EDIT: Then again even PA's jokes suck some times....you can't hit home runs ALL the time. Just reading trough your website...I really quite like the comic, comparing you to Tim Buckley is like comparing silver bullion to cat shit......your silver bullion by the way.......PA is gold bullion....so you still have work to do.....so don't get cockey.
Hey, they're an easy target. An really, who LIKES walmart?
Thanks for the suggestions. I agree about tightening up my writing. I think your panel 2 edit is much better. It reads faster and more naturally. Your punchline is still funny, but not really my type of humor. I wouldn't say I'm really that subtle, but "...I beat the living piss out of those two queers..." is a little over the top for me.
And by the way, thanks everyone for their suggestions. I'm really glad I posted to this forum because this feedback is great.