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Bored/Lonely
Nostregar
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
This isn't the largest of problems, as problems go, but I thought you wonderful people might be able to help a guy out.
I'm currently in the summer between my Sophomore and Junior years of college. At school, I have a great time; I do all my work, hang out with my friends, play frisbee, play video games, you name it. The most important thing about school, though, is my girlfriend. We've been together for about a year and basically live together at school. We're incredibly close, almost never fight, etc etc. It's as close to perfect as I can imagine.
This summer she is away in China for 9 weeks on an internship. I'm really happy for her, it's awesome, and it's going to help her alot in her career. The problem is, this leaves me feeling pretty lonely. We don't get to talk much, so I wind up feeling disconnected the rest of the time since I'm so used to having her around.
This wouldn't be that much of a problem if I had friends around to do stuff with and hang out with. However, the problems are these: First, I go to college in a different state, so all of my "local" (to the school) friends are far away. Second, all of my friends who aren't living around there live fairly far away (nobody is within a 6 hour drive of me). Third, I never had friends when I was in highschool, so I don't have any friends who live around me from that period of my life.
As you can imagine, this leads to some boredom. I don't really get to do anything besides sit in my house, which compounds the loneliness problem. My family isn't very active, so it's not like I can just do stuff with them.
I have a job that I work 9-5:30 Monday-Friday, so that takes up a fair amount of my day. When I get home from work at 6, though, I just have nothing to do. I sit in my room, talk to people online sometimes, play some games, whatever. I just get bored.
Essentially, I'm looking for things I can do by myself to keep me entertained. I'm not terribly interested in making new friends, since all of the people in my age group in this area I already know and don't particularly like due to highschool. I mean, if that's what people suggest I can give it a go, but it's not my first choice. I'd prefer to just have some ideas for things to do on my own.
I'm ok at art so I've been drawing a lot more, and I play video games a fair amount. I also read alot. These are basically all I could come up with on my own. Thoughts?
Background info : 20 year old male, live in Massachusetts, I don't drink or do drugs.
tl;dr - I need activities I can do by myself to alleviate boredom.
I'm currently in the summer between my Sophomore and Junior years of college. At school, I have a great time; I do all my work, hang out with my friends, play frisbee, play video games, you name it. The most important thing about school, though, is my girlfriend. We've been together for about a year and basically live together at school. We're incredibly close, almost never fight, etc etc. It's as close to perfect as I can imagine.
This summer she is away in China for 9 weeks on an internship. I'm really happy for her, it's awesome, and it's going to help her alot in her career. The problem is, this leaves me feeling pretty lonely. We don't get to talk much, so I wind up feeling disconnected the rest of the time since I'm so used to having her around.
This wouldn't be that much of a problem if I had friends around to do stuff with and hang out with. However, the problems are these: First, I go to college in a different state, so all of my "local" (to the school) friends are far away. Second, all of my friends who aren't living around there live fairly far away (nobody is within a 6 hour drive of me). Third, I never had friends when I was in highschool, so I don't have any friends who live around me from that period of my life.
As you can imagine, this leads to some boredom. I don't really get to do anything besides sit in my house, which compounds the loneliness problem. My family isn't very active, so it's not like I can just do stuff with them.
I have a job that I work 9-5:30 Monday-Friday, so that takes up a fair amount of my day. When I get home from work at 6, though, I just have nothing to do. I sit in my room, talk to people online sometimes, play some games, whatever. I just get bored.
Essentially, I'm looking for things I can do by myself to keep me entertained. I'm not terribly interested in making new friends, since all of the people in my age group in this area I already know and don't particularly like due to highschool. I mean, if that's what people suggest I can give it a go, but it's not my first choice. I'd prefer to just have some ideas for things to do on my own.
I'm ok at art so I've been drawing a lot more, and I play video games a fair amount. I also read alot. These are basically all I could come up with on my own. Thoughts?
Background info : 20 year old male, live in Massachusetts, I don't drink or do drugs.
tl;dr - I need activities I can do by myself to alleviate boredom.
Nostregar on
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If your girl is in China right now, does she know a little Chinese and is she learning more there? Might be kinda cool to pick that up.
I suggest something like this. You may even try playing DnD or a similar game.
You mentioned you played Frisbee, I would suggest going out to a park in the area and seeing if you can find a group of people playing Frisbee there. My friends and I play Frisbee once a week and would gladly let some random person in just to get more people playing. Chances are, people in your area will be the same way as well.
Other than that, if you don't wanna get too social, I would say just play a lot of online games. It can really help you forget that you're "alone" when you're enjoying a game with others.
Not an e-mail... an actual, honest to god letter. Then... when you're done... write another one.
It will fill up some time, and make you closer. Then, take up a hobby.
Is there anything you've ever wanted or needed to learn to do? Now is the perfect time. (For me, if I start getting bored, cooking is something I end up gravitating towards since there's always new recipes and techniques to try.)
For your art, maybe set up a goal or a project to work for or pick up some new equipment.
Take a night class at your local community college?
Raid your library -- in addition to books, most of them also have some sort of selection of DVDs, VHS tapes, and CDs.
Are there movies or TV shows you've been meaning to check out? Get a Netflix subscription or some other movie rental thing going and go to town. There are a lot of great TV dramas out on DVD that lend themselves to marathoning quite well.
On the weekend, go exploring. Anything within a few hours of home is fair game. Get a list of museums, parks, art galleries, fairs, concerts (either free outdoor type things or anything that might interest you), etc. Try out restaurants you've never been to. Bring a camera and if you can't think of anything else to do, turn it into a photo expedition. (Many of my favorite photos are from when I was bored some Saturday afternoon and decided to drive about half an hour somewhere to take pictures.) Setting up trips like this is good for keeping you occupied during the week as well, since you have to do a bit of research and planning and deciding where you want to go.
Ryadic - I do love to play DnD, I just haven't been able to find anyone around here to join up with. There are almost no game stores around here besides GameStop, so there aren't many places to look
Sentry - I like the letter idea, I'll try that.
Seasleepy - I have to cook dinner lately, so cooking has become more of a chore than a hobby. As far as art goes, I like to work digitally so there's not much I can pick up for supplies, but I'll see if there's anything around that interests me. I used to make chainmail (the armor, not the emails) so maybe I'll pick up some stuff to do that again. Our library is pretty small, but I'll see what I can find there. I don't really like TV, but I'll look around for some movies I missed in theaters, see if I can find anything good. Taking a photo expedition also sounds pretty fun, if I can get hold of my brother's SLR camera I might give that a try.
Thanks for all the ideas, guys. This should definately help me keep occupied.
Maybe get a second job to kill time and save up some cash?
Go take some summer classes?
Boredom only occurs because you aren't actively thinking about something else to do.
Also... 9 weeks: not a long time. It will go by quicker than you imagine. Use the time to do selfish things for yourself. Stuff that you can't do as much of when the gf is around, but wish you could.
Internet porn! :winky: :P
OdinOwnsYeAll - Yeah, I think that's probably a good idea. But, I also want time to do things like play games and devote to my other hobbies. I'll definately try to get out on weekends though.
Brocrates - Not to be rude, but it seems like you didn't read the entire post. In my original post I said that I'm 20 and don't drink, so a bar isn't a great option. I also said I'm not terribly keen on making new friends, but ok.
Sarcastro - Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't mind another job if I can find it. Just hard to find one around here; alot of kids and not many stores/other places to work. I doubt I'll have enough money to go see her though, plane tickets are $1300 for a round trip.
CooterTKE - Interesting idea, but to my knowledge there aren't any around here. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere >_<.
Lewisham - Yeah, 9 weeks isn't THAT long, it just feels like it. And it's a long time to be on your own, too.
Ryadic - Not gonna lie, that was the first thing I thought when he said that too. Haha, what has the internet done to me? Alas.
However. I know you said you're not that bothered about the kids you knew in highschool but I was in a similar situation from you at the end of school sans a girlfriend - I didn't dislike my mates from school but relations had soured during the last year and going to uni just compounded that because I made so many great friends. However there was a month holiday over easter and it was unbarable, back in a 2-bit town with nothing to do. I started calling my old buddies and four years later they're the closest people in my life even though I don't even live near most of them. It might be worth a shot.
Ways i've tried to counter-balance this is to take up an extensive hobby; the ones that you really have to devote a lot of time in to get decent results. In my case it was flamenco guitar and drawing. Although the drawing side seems to have wained a bit, i've stepped up my game on the music front, and when you really get into a practice session the time practically melts away.
I know it might seem hard right now, but you're just going to have to wait it out. Do whatever you can to keep yourself occupied in the mean time.
A nice hour long walk will get you some sun (area and weather permitting), exercise, and at least some form of human interaction, and will in general make you feel better.
I had to kill the first two weeks of summer with no job and no friends back from university and a walk a day really made things bearable.
Godfather - That sucks, man. I bet you're looking forward to college if only to be around people. I'm probably going to be spending more time on my drawing, since that seems to be a generally agreed-upon good idea. Sadly, my music abilities are almost as bad as my dancing abilities (which is to say, crap). But yeah, I'll definately keep an eye out for hobbies. i've actually just started working on a map for a video game, so that might be a good thing to keep me occupied.
Capncrunch - That's an interesting idea. I'm disgustingly pale so I burn in 30 seconds flat, but if I cover up and wear sunblock I should be ok. There's not alot rto see around here, but maybe I can combine that with an earlier idea and walk up to a park or something. Thanks
Dude there are like a million cool things to do within in a 2 or 3 hour drive or even closer.
Go to Boston. See all the amazing crap in Boston. (museums, historical sites, theater, Red sox game, whatever.) Take a weekend and go to new york and do the same thing as you did in Boston. (yes its a long drive but so what your 20 and bored what the hell else are you going to do.) Thats 2 weekends right there. Tell one of your good school friends to meet you there and have them get on a train.
Writing letters and taking walks is a good idea but step it up a notch. Get into some sort of sport that you can do by yourself. (running , cycling, swimming,) and enter a race in the next month or so. Then spend a little time each day training for it. In a month you will be in better shape and have some competition where you can meet new people who will go running with you or whatever. Plus when the lady gets back you will be less flabby and more manly.
Learn how to play pool, or darts. I am sure there is some sort of billiards club in your area. They probably have an APA (american pool association) night with league play. Join a random league and you meet 5 new friends. Also they have the same thing for bowling. Suddenly if you do all three you have 3 nights a week to go do something fun.
If you find yourself bored and you don't live in BFE its your own damn fault. Only you can make yourself Happy.
I second the advice to go exploring and stay out of the house. I often bring my laptop to a starbucks and just chill, or I dig through record shops that I have managed to find.
I'll also second the advice to do selfish things that normally you wouldnt have time for. I'm reading a bunch of Tom Clancy books
Also, I would just get a summer membership to a place like 24 hour fitness. When I'm bored I just go and work out, its awesome.
I also noticed you mentioned being bad at dancing. If you don't mind giving that another shot, dance lessons would be ideal. Plus, I bet your girl would be really impressed if you managed to get good at it... :winky:
Limp Moose - Having lived around Boston my entire life, I'm kind of tired of it. I'm not a huge fan of cities in general, so it wasn't my cup of tea to begin with. However, I went there a fair amount during highschool to - surprise surprise - kill boredom. I'm also not much into sports, which is why I enjoy frisbee. It's semi-athletic but not terribly competitive and is more about having fun than "winning" (if you're playing Ultimate). I might look at the other ideas though.
Ergander - I addressed Boston above, and I've been to Salem though not in a while (I went to that museum when I was out one time, it's pretty cool). I might check Salem out though, hopefully it'll be more exciting than last time I went.
Korriander - I loathe WOW. Not even going to touch it.
Jeepguy - I've been working my way through a few, it is a good way to kill some time.
Akilae729 - I like the reading and getting out ideas, buy gyms make me pretty uncomfortable.
CyberJackal - Man, you have no idea how bad I am at dancing. Seriously, my girlfriend used to try to get me to and then gave up when she realized I was actually the most terrible dancer ever to grace the globe. I'm that bad.
Lots of things to do, learn leadership skills, and you'll get mad awesome points with the GF.
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Also, just throwing this out there, but maybe getting certified as a scuba diver? Normally the classes are on weekends and they could fill in a void. The downside is that this is a relatively expensive hobby.
This is what you could do:
Pick up drinking: Don't become an alcoholic, but going around to bars and tasting things/trying things out could be fun, and if you aren't a statue, you could meet some interesting people and learn a lot of new stuff.
Go on a road trip: This is one I highly recommend. All of my in state friends one year were all out of state/country, and I had no one to hang out with. So I went on a road trip to visit some out of state friends. At first it was really lonely because I had to drive 6+ hours all by myself, but once I got to meet some friends, and when a few came along with me, it was great fun. The drive wasn't that bad though, because I had a lot of time to myself to think over things and see how great life was.
Exercise: Last summer I stuck to a really strict exercise regime/diet and my physical health turned out for the better. I got to meet some cool people and it boosted my confidence level. If you want to do this, I recommend the Health/Fitness thread if you want to get started.
Camping: It can get scary at night time when you're all alone, but it leaves a lot of time for reflection and peace. If you have a dog, take him/her with you.
Be a camp counselor: I do this every summer (except this summer). Most of the time you can do it as long as you want. It can become tiring sometimes, but it's fun and at the end of my time period I'm glad that I did it. If you get lucky you can get one that pays.
Build something: There's nothing wrong with learning how to use power tools or learning how to fix things up. You can do general maintenance around the house (always be careful), build a bird house, mail box, anything. Our band got together with really crappy guitars once and spent a whole month swapping crap parts for better parts, painting them, etc.
As someone mentioned before: Learn how to cook. It's fun! And delicious! (most of the time).
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you're going to miss your girlfriend. One night I'm fine and having fun talking with friends, then in the morning when I wake up and I start crying because I miss my girlfriend. When you're bored, half the battle is just getting up and starting something. Good luck to you, you'll be fine.