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woman (married at that) trouble!
Seaborn111
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
ok so, pretext!
this woman who is currently married with 6 month old child is one of my closest friends. i've known her for 6+ years, and she's closer i believe than anyone i know. this leads into the story with which i need help:
we'll call her "B". B has been married for about 8 months now. her husband has been in iraq for 7 of those months. her baby has been present for 6 of them. Now, B had my blessing in this marriage even though it was rushed due to her getting preggers, but i don't like this guy. just adding this in.
so the past two weeks, B has been talking to me. Alot. like, constantly.
and last night, she sends me some pictures. no need to fill in the blank. B and i have never had a relationship. We've never been intimate. these pictures did not imply that.
I want to salvage this friendship SOOOOO bad, but i don't know how to start this inevitable conversation. what do i tell the lonely ass married woman to make her be my friend but back off?
this woman who is currently married with 6 month old child is one of my closest friends. i've known her for 6+ years, and she's closer i believe than anyone i know. this leads into the story with which i need help:
we'll call her "B". B has been married for about 8 months now. her husband has been in iraq for 7 of those months. her baby has been present for 6 of them. Now, B had my blessing in this marriage even though it was rushed due to her getting preggers, but i don't like this guy. just adding this in.
so the past two weeks, B has been talking to me. Alot. like, constantly.
and last night, she sends me some pictures. no need to fill in the blank. B and i have never had a relationship. We've never been intimate. these pictures did not imply that.
I want to salvage this friendship SOOOOO bad, but i don't know how to start this inevitable conversation. what do i tell the lonely ass married woman to make her be my friend but back off?
</bush>
It's impossible for us to without a doubt prove the non-existence of God. We just have to take it on faith that he's imaginary..
Seaborn111 on
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Good advice has already been given, though. Be completely honest with her. Tell her that she's a married woman and you don't want to jeopardize your friendship with her. By doing that, you save yourself from any guilt. Let her feel however the hell she wants.
Agreed. And maybe buy her a Hitachi magic wand or something.
And then try not to be alone with her for awhile. She's very likely not really into you, she's missing her husband and is reaching out to someone she's already emotionally intimate with to fill that gap. Make sure your interactions with her are friendly and preferably part of a group outing and she should stop fixating on you.
I think this is part of the problem. Especially if it's online. Start limiting the amount of times she can get ahold of you. Don't just suddenly start ignoring her, but give her fewer chances to do stuff like this. I agree with the person who said something like, "Wow, your husband sure is a lucky guy" type comment, which will hopefully snap her back to reality.
Just do what the others have said, politely (firmly) tell her that you're not interested.
They also have consolers she can talk to instead of you. That can give her professional advice and help her work out the loneliness without cheating on her spouse. All too often these services go unused or unknown about until it is far to late. If she is on any major military base anywhere state side it will have some sort of service like this.
and for anyone thats married and thinking of joining the service pay attention to this thread it literally happens ALL THE TIME.
Most of the military support services for just about everything related to soldiers and their families are underfunded and completely overwhelmed. In some places she might end up on a months-long waiting list to talk to anybody. It’s certainly a good idea to suggest this to your friend, but be sure not to abandon her to bureaucrats who might not have anything to offer.
Isn't that a bit cruel? Her husband is away, she's lonely, the OP is her best (only?) friend; let's make her even lonelier?
It is possible for adult men and women to remain perfectly good friends even after one of them has expressed some kind of sexual interest, you know.
It's definitely not cruel. For the moment, she is coming on WAAY too strong, and a little bit of a cool-off period might be neccessary for her to re-evaluate exactly what she's doing. Like seriously, maybe one or two weeks. After that, things may be able to return to normal. And yeah, it is definitely possible to maintain a healthy friendship after a sexual advance like that.
This has also been my experience with FFS from the Navy - the family counselors are definitely underutilized. Keep in mind, even if she is an Army/Air Force spouse the Navy benefits are open to her if the Army/Air Force people are too busy (and if there is a base close enough).
OP is in a tight spot, but be totally honest with her and make a point to specifically say you want to be only friends (as many posters have said).
i've already followed some of the advice with good results. i basically told her she's still smokin (milf, yes) and i enjoyed the pics, but she's a married woman and i don't want to ruin a friendship.
turned out ok, things still seem normal.
Yeah I dont ever think saying "Listen I know whats going on but It is better if we just stay friends" would end up poorly. Also really tell her to stay true to her man, I feel for the poor guys that get sent off and their wives or girlfriends stray and leave them.
I'm just going to take the time to say that, at least in this situation, you're being a good person. I know plenty of guys out there who would just take advantage of this situation, potentially leave the family a complete mess, and just mosey on with their life with no regard to what they just did.
I, sir, salute you for not being a douchebag.