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Restraining order without assault?
Kazhiim
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I'll cut to the chase: my brother is a scumbag who refuses to stop draining my parents of their money and health. They want to kick him out. Problem is, my dad's an old guy and he wouldn't be able to physically remove him from the house.
I've told him to call the cops or get a restraining order, but he thinks that, by being his son (he's over 18), my brother's allowed to live here unless he assaults the family. I know that is a whole bunch of bullshit. How the hell do I convince my dad that my brother isn't entitled to anything? Could I go file for a restraining order myself, forcing him out of the house until I go back to college?
I've told him to call the cops or get a restraining order, but he thinks that, by being his son (he's over 18), my brother's allowed to live here unless he assaults the family. I know that is a whole bunch of bullshit. How the hell do I convince my dad that my brother isn't entitled to anything? Could I go file for a restraining order myself, forcing him out of the house until I go back to college?
Kazhiim on
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It's a matter of my dad wanting to make the decision, but thinking he doesn't have the legal grounds to do so. So, either I prove to him that he does (and I have no idea where I'd look up the law on this sort of thing), or I take legal action against my brother myself.
I would be astonished if there was any such right.
There is no law that requires your parents to continue to live with your brother, or to give his a place to live, since he is over 18 and considered an adult. Unless his name is on the lease, he has no actual rights to stay in the house/apartment, etc.
HOWEVER, you filing a PFA/restraining against him will not work. He hasn't physically harmed you, or threatened physical harm, so it will not stick. Furthermore, the court's not going to step in medate what appears to be a family problem without either some ongoing court action, or at least a history of incident.
My advice is to tell your father & rest of family to man up and ask him to leave. Tell them to quit giving him money, and stop letting him drain them of health (BTW, is your brother a freakin' vampire???). If he gets violent after that, then you have a police/court situation. If he refuses to leave, then you have a court situation. Until then, nothing the law can do.
The stress my brother has inflicted on my father in the past eight months caused his Hepatitis C, which had been thirteen years in remission, to become active again. He's been placed on the same treatments he helped move from the experimental stage over a decade ago, but the doctors have told him that this stress may very well prevent the treatment from working.
Right, but if the OP is not an actual owner of the home he doesn't have that legal authority. He's just another guest domiciled there.
Kaz, tell your dad to tell the brother he has to leave and that you will back your dad up in the matter physically, mentally and emotionally.
I hope your parents have better luck than mine are.
change the locks when he's not home is my only guess.
Yep. All his stuff on the front porch when he gets home will get the message across clearly. Maybe a cop in the driveway to explain in no uncertain terms is he to come back.
"CALIFORNIA CODES PENAL CODE SECTION 270-273.75 270.5. (a) Every parent who refuses, without lawful excuse, to accept his or her minor child into the parent's home, or, failing to do so, to provide alternative shelter, upon being requested to do so by a child protective agency and after being informed of the duty imposed by this statute to do so, is guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars ($500). (b) For purposes of this section, "child protective agency" means a police or sheriff's department, a county probation department, or a county welfare department. (c) For purposes of this section, "lawful excuse" shall include, but not be limited to, a reasonable fear that the minor child's presence in the home will endanger the safety of the parent or other persons residing in the home."
DOES NOT APPLY. HE CAN BE KICKED OUT AT ANY TIME
It's a story too long for any TL;DR. Back in october he started dating a stripper, and she moved into the house while they "looked" for their own place to stay. My parents were willing at first, but her sociopathic tendancies and manipulation of my brother were too much. She faked a miscarriage and a whole host of other bullshit to make my family feel guilty about kicking poor little her out. They got fed up with it, though. Thing was, my brother refused to let them kick her out.
You have to understand something. My dad will avoid dealing with the courts for as long as he can. He doesn't like revealing family affairs to anybody outside the family. But he is too old, and his health problems too grave, for him to handle anything himself.
Now, they eventually did kick her out after she demanded to be able to take 3 AM weekday showers, her reasoning to my brother being, "I'm still young, and your dad is in his sixties, it's more important for me to be healthy."
So she convinced my brother to move across the country. They drive from California to Louisiana, thinking they'll live with her grandmother and my brother will find a great job (in post-katrina louisiana). Her family ends up dealing with the same shit mine did, except now my brother is the unwanted guest who she has to defend.
So, they spend two weeks there before coming back to California. My dad actually does refuse to let them return for a few days, but my brother begs until he lets him come back. She has to live elsewhere, though.
Things are okay for a little while. Then we find out about my dad's health. We end up a shit-ton poorer as he has to pay for chemotherapy, and then medication to counteract bone marrow loss, and so forth. Insurance kinda screws him over, though we'd basically be homeless if he didn't have insurance.
My brother jumps from job to job until a car accident (and his profound stupidity) causes our car insurance to skyrocket. So my dad kicks him off the plan to alleviate it.
Now he doesn't have insurance. And he's never taken care of his car, so he thinks he has no way to get around. Refusing to take public transportation, he loses his job and refuses to get another one.
So he's living at home, a drain on my family and society as a whole. He hasn't paid a dozen bills (we're hoping a warrant gets put on his head so the cops'll take him away, as a matter of fact). He steals my dad's pain meds for his girlfriend. He threatens my sister and mother. He stole my dad's credit card, which they ended up cancelling.
We can't prove any of that in a court, though. I insist that we can kick him out without a reason, but my dad is afraid to admit that he fucked up so monumentally in raising his eldest son.
My name isn't on the lease either, so I can't. I've tried convincing my dad to, but he seems to think a solution will fall out of the sky.
30-Day or 60-Day Notice to Quit
A landlord can use a 30 day-notice to end a month-to-month tenancy if the tenant has been renting for less than a year. A landlord should use a 60-day notice if the tenant has been renting for more than one year and the landlord wants the tenant to move out.
The notice must:
* Be in writing,
* Say the full name of the tenant or tenants,
* Have the address the notice is about,
* Say that the month-to-month tenancy will end in 30 days if the landlord is giving a 30-day notice or in 60 days if s/he is giving a 60-day notice, and
* Have the landlord's signature and date of the notice.
In rent-controlled cities, a landlord can not cancel a month-to-month tenancy for just any reason. The landlord must find out if the unit is in a rent-controlled city, and if so, whether the landlord has the right to evict the tenant.
Explain to him that it is the right thing to do, and if he wants to give the kid money fine but the onus is on him. I think when presented with the correct legal information his tune may change.
I just wanted to add
That your dad should not feel this way, and it makes me sad that he does (i understand why he does, though). Your brother is an adult and as such, makes his own choices. Your dad can only do so much to teach his kids the right thing, at some point kids have to decide for themselves whether to follow his lead or do their own thing.
I support Durandal's advice. Follow those legal options, make an enquiry at the police station, see if they have some advice. Do the legwork to help your dad. My dad is the same as yours, too much pride. Do the research then leave the decision to him. You cant act on his behalf though. It wont work.
The only thing you could do is physically kick him out yourself, change the locks and call the cops on him when he doesn't leave. But you wouldn't be able to do that without your dad's cooperation. If your dad isn't willing to do that, then you can't do anything.
https://medium.com/@alascii
your brother isn't on the lease, he's just mooching. So, he should be a boarder, not a tenant. You don't need an eviction, you don't need a court. You tell him to get out, if he doesn't, you call the cops. The cops forcibly eject him from the premises, you change the locks, you're done.
Yeah, that's exactly what it is. He's about 15 weeks into it, and had a full blood transplant on friday because the stuff that was supposed to boost his red/white cell count wasn't working at all.
Aside from that, it seems you really can't do much until your dad is on your side.
True and true. Your dad can have anyone removed from the home anytime he wants (except his spouse, marital residence and all). But to keep him out you'd need the restraining order. In most states to get that order you need to ask a judge for it, to get it in front of a judge requires some kind of charge. You need a charge, violation of some kind of law, to get a restraining order. Assault, threats, theft, etc.
But if your dad is this slow to even get the order I'd doubt he'd ever have it enforced. Say your brother shows up and smashes a window, do you think your dad would be able to call the police and have his own son arrested and put in jail?
No man should have that kind of power.(Twitter)
Well, I would assume multiple tresspassings after being forcibly removed would be grounds for a restraining order, no?
But yeah, eventually this is at some level going to require your dad to actively involve the authorities in forcibly removing him
The only bill he could possibly not pay and risk arrest would be child support.
Your dad can call the cops and have them evict him for you. This is probably the only way it's going to happen, since he clearly knows he can intimidate/stonewall your dad into not doing anything else otherwise.
Once the cops tell him to leave or they take him away, if he comes back it's trespassing. Then a restraining order may be applied.
He may be family, but it has to be done. Otherwise he's just going to take everyone down with him.
This has been said loads and it is the only option. Making excuses why it won't work isn't the issue, it is teh only option you have if you want this taken care of asap. Get your dad to ring the cops and he could be gone today.
Its not complicated to figure out:
a) do it yourself,
b) get someone else to do it.
It'd be hard I guess, to involve someone else, I mean, really - how embarrassing - but with a lack of respect, and/or willingness to walk away (ie have him removed) there is no chance at negotiation. He knows this, and is taking advantage of it. That sort of thing grows over time, it doesn't get better.
I knew a guy once, similar situation - whose parents hated living with him so much, they moved to a different house, and put this guys name on the lease to the old place. When he couldn't pay the bills, it was foreclosed and the bank took it away. His parents then refused access to the new house. Cost them a bundle, but they did remove themselves from the shmuck. I remember thinking how surreal it was for parents to be that afraid of standing up to thier son.
What about this?
Not to mention petite to grand larceny for theft of medication and credit card theft, and credit card fraud.
Seriously have a one on one logical talk with your dad.