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strange feeling about my past.
DarkSymphony
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
basically ever since I graduated high school, I've kept looking back to those 4 years and remembered them for what they were: fucking awesome. I loved high school. My social life during those 4 years was amazing. I went to parties very often and made tons of friends. I graduated in 2000 and am now 25. I'll be going into college for the fall. I'm very excited about this. Now, the problem with my feeling is that I look back and have such incredibly positive memories, yet I lack anything even close to resembling that feeling and have been lacking it for these last 8 years. I have a good life now and all that, I have great friends, have been dating and such so that's not the problem. The problem is that I keep thinking the best 4 years of my life will always have been my high school 4 years. As if that was the high point of life and that I won't be able to get it back.
I keep thinking that it's like, this magic time period frozen in time and that, I should have seized those 4 years more than I did. I did a lot and met a lot of people, but I feel I should have done more, partied more or done new things earlier to make room for new stuff.
My current life status is that I party on the weekends, usually big parties with lots of beer and alcohol, and with people ranging from 19-27. It's a great time, but I just feel like I'm missing something in those regards. I have a great time, but I literally can't stop thinking about how much fun that time of my life was. So many things were new, I didn't know what I do now, I had yet to experience things and had that level of excitement for the many firsts of my life. That kind of stuff. I feel like there's not going to be that awesome new fresh feeling again with life in general. Not that I hate life (quite the opposite, I love my situation), but I dunno I just wish I could stop getting that feeling. It gets me down and sometimes I just get all quiet at work just reminiscing.
I keep thinking that it's like, this magic time period frozen in time and that, I should have seized those 4 years more than I did. I did a lot and met a lot of people, but I feel I should have done more, partied more or done new things earlier to make room for new stuff.
My current life status is that I party on the weekends, usually big parties with lots of beer and alcohol, and with people ranging from 19-27. It's a great time, but I just feel like I'm missing something in those regards. I have a great time, but I literally can't stop thinking about how much fun that time of my life was. So many things were new, I didn't know what I do now, I had yet to experience things and had that level of excitement for the many firsts of my life. That kind of stuff. I feel like there's not going to be that awesome new fresh feeling again with life in general. Not that I hate life (quite the opposite, I love my situation), but I dunno I just wish I could stop getting that feeling. It gets me down and sometimes I just get all quiet at work just reminiscing.
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The big thing is that while appreciating the past you need to make sure you keep reaching for better experiences. Just read some books about travel or interesting hobbies and see what you like, cause its your life and you can do whatever you want.
So as most things in life this seems like a paradox in that you cant get the feeling back until you stop focusing on it sorry man.
I was going through something like this a few months ago, in relation to college, and being in law school now life sort of sucks in comparison with how busy I am, but then my girlfriend took me out kayaking on town lake in Austin and when I was on the lake just paddling and saw the sun in the bluest sky ever and little turtles and carp swimming under me in the clearest water I had a feeling like when I was in college.
In short, just relax and be and trust that it will come back.
How hard is it to find something to experience that's better than drinking and partying?
EDIT: My crazy idea. Find something you want to do more than drinking and partying, and do that instead. Once you're bored with the thing you've replaced the partying with, replace it with something else that's better.
Repeat process until satisfied/dead.
see that's just it, it's not about the literal sense of drinking and partying. Like, in school everything was new. Drinking for the first time, I remember that night precisely and the same with first girlfriend, first real kiss, first etc. etc. and that, life seemed more simple then. I could be stupid and immature and it was ok because I hadn't grown up, nor was I expected to have. Life was stupid and fun. I could bullshit with friends for a whole weekend, and just not care about it then go on as if it was the norm. Being in my 20's I like the responsibility and being on my own, that's awesome, but I miss the good old days where so many things were new and myself and my classmates were all going through that crazy time together. I'm excited for college because 1) I'm looking forward to furthering myself with education, but also because I really want that social aspect again. I know it's obviously not the same, but I definitely want what college has to offer.
He's got the idea (or I've got his.)
Have you ever been in a garage band? You ever competed in powerlifting? Ever gone scuba diving in the bahamas? Ever seen the Hagia Sofia? Ever tried doing something crazy and unexpected just to see what would happen?
Yes, you're nostalgic. You had fun before and now you're in a rut. Use your imagination and get out there and do something.
Welcome to getting older.
The things you experience and how you experience them change over time. It's easy to look back and pick this, that or the other thing as being the "best" but can be rose-tinted glasses as much as anything else.
Like others said: you just have to keep trying to do something with your life. If you stop, then you start thinking of those years as the best and not just a different stage of your life.
Simple trick people play on themselves, if you keep sitting there thinking "High School was, and will always be the best thing that ever happened to me and nothing will ever compare"... guess what? Nothing ever WILL compare, because you have already decided that.
Find a way to just take your mind out of that rut. Do you want to turn into Al Bundy, reliving the glory days of his 4 touchdowns in a single game for the rest of his existence... or do you want to be a guy that pays no mind to what he's done in the past and thinks about what he can/wants to do in the present and future?
When all is said and done, and you're like 90+ years old or whatever and looking back on your life as you have lived it... make the things you do throughout it memorable... but being in your 20's is NOT the time to get all wistful for "the good old days".
I know plenty of guys who do more crazy crap in their 50's-60's than they ever did in their tees/20's. They have the money now, their kids don't need their support, and they can basically take off with their Wife/GF/SO (if they still have one) and do virtually anything they feel like. Maybe that won't be binge drinking at a spontaneous keg party and doing backflips off some strangers house after you get wrecked... but I think touring some beautiful countryside for a month beats that out in the grand scheme of things (let alone any other awesome or even crazy things you could do, like skydiving over the bahamas).
But that's just me!
Like lsukakel said, travel, pick up a new hobby, and branch out into new and interesting things.
Yeah for most people the fun part doesn't pick up for a little while. Junior and senior years tend to be an order of magnitude better.
To the OP: I sometimes have this same feeling, and a lot of it definitely is a rose-colored glasses nostalgia factor. A lot of it also comes from the fact that high school is full of a ton of first experiences. Pretty much my first time for every sexual experience and every recreational substance happened in high school, so naturally there is some great fun to look back on, when things had a sort of newness to them. I guess this applies more to substances than to sex, because as most people point out your first times sexually definitely aren't your best, but relationship-wise there's a lot of innocent sappiness that is really romantic to look back on.
I can't stress enough that the important thing now is you have to make your own fun. In high school I always seemed to wander into great times somehow. They were just always happening around me due to the crowd I hung out with, so I didn't have to try very hard. When you get out on your own, you have to actually do some planning and put effort forth to make these great experiences happen.
Also when you're living on your own it's way too easy to be lazy. Cutting back on video games (especially if you play any MMO) and forcing yourself to go outside and actually do some physical activity helps a lot. Instead of watching TV, try going to a library, book store, coffeeshop, park, etc.
For example today I was feeling that I had been far too lazy and unproductive lately. So I hit the gym early, then went swimming, then went on a walk. I also walked barefoot in the grass for a little bit, which is something I probably haven't done since I was 12. This may seem small, but small shit like this makes you realize that the fun times you look back on now aren't behind you, they're right fucking outside man. They're just not going to knock on your door and take you with them.
/end rant. I hope some of that rambling helped.
As long as you believe this, it will be true. Highschool was fun, but better bigger things will come. If you keep thinking that nothing will top your past you're putting a mental barrier on your future. Set high expectations, say "This is gonna be the best year ever!", then go out and make it the best year ever.
AKA skydiving. You want a rush and a fresh perspective on life? nothing beats falling to the earth with only a hope and a prayer and a thin sheet of nylon.
Origin ID: Discgolfer27
Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
Tbh, it sounds like you need something new to put your heart into.
The fact is, you will always think back to those good times. I often feel very nostalgic about the times with my friends before serious relationships and rent, where everything was simple, playing dungeons and dragons at lunchtime, but that feeling will stop bugging you so much when more important stuff comes into your life.
At some point a new job, a relationship, a new friend, will enter your world and you'll find you have a different perspective on life, your priorities will shift and you'll feel happy when you think of the old days, rather than sad that they're gone.
The only practical advice I can give you is to try not to re-capture those days, but accept that you're not the same person you were then, and find something to really throw your heart and soul into, be that your music, your job, your love life, or whatever it may be,
good luck
To the OP, you remind me of a bunch of people from my hometown, people that seemed to peak in high school. I always felt sorry for those people, to be brutally honest, and I could never understand their worldview. My horizons and social opportunities expand dramatically after I left high school and went to university, although that may be partly due to the fact that I grew up in a podunk farming town. Just because high school was great for you does not mean that college cannot also be great for you. If you spend too much time dwelling on the past, though, then you'll miss opportunities in the present and you will cause college to fall short by comparison. I'd advise against that if at all possible.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
My man, I feel you. Let me just say that it gets better the instant you decide that you're going to make it better. The past is always wonderful because we don't have to deal with it anymore. Do your thing, stay healthy, and keep moving forward.
You're still young, (don't really let on that you're 25, maybe hint at early 20's, it's doubtful that anyone will notice anway) you can play guitar and you're mature. You'll be fighting them off with a stick!
You're going to have the time of your life in college. But please, please don't be that kid who talks about how great high school was - then you're just an 25 year old annoying freshman version of an 18 year old annoying freshman.
Build upon your good experiences in high school and real life and translate that into the two main goals of college - exceeding academically, and nailing as many women as possible.
I don't mean to diminish your high school years and make college sound like it's easy, but come on, it's COLLEGE, I'd give my left nut to go back and do it all again.
Life was just so simple back then I guess. No stress with rent and bills and shit. Jobs were had so that I could have money to buy stupid shit with and party with friends and new people on the weekends. The extent of my worries came from the 4 page essay that would be due the next week. I guess a lot of it is rose tinted memories, but they were really good times and I wanna have better times now and in the future.
I've been having a fantastic time partying lately and being with all kinds of new people. It's really awesome and a great way for me to expand my social network, but sometimes I do sit back and remember then I get down.
In any case thanks for the words and all that, it does help and makes me realize that I can make better times for myself. I don't wanna let life happen around me so I should go be a part of it again.
I had a post from a while ago about the fact that I'm going to be a 25 year old freshmen, hoping that it wouldn't be a problem socially. I'm sure it won't, but as someone said, I just won't outwardly tell everyone I'm 25.
I feel that kids have the WORST lives there are. Go to school for 6-7 hours, then study for 3-4 hours, none of which is paid. I also worked at a gas station on weekends, on my feet, no breaks for 8 hours, at $6/hour. No freedom, paying bills with petty income (gas, auto insurance, phone bill, etc), and stressing about grades, and securing loans and scholarships to pay for uni.
Since high school I've done plenty of awesome firsts. The freedom of living on my own; jumping on my motorcycle at 3am and heading out on a whim, just for the hell of it. I got married and honeymoon'd in Mexico! I bought a house. And now, I have a baby about to be born.
Plus.. the parties I went to in high-school paled in comparison to my batchelor party 8-).
I spent most of my junior and senior year attending a Japanese high school in Tokyo and basically living the geek dream
It was so unbelievably awesome
And now I'm stuck in the working world in New York City, and by most accounts I don't have it that bad...but when you had an experience that lasted a couple years and ranked a 9 and now you can only rank your life as a 6 or 7, it's hard not to be nostalgic!
I just appreciate what it was, I know I can't go back, the people who made it special are now scattered to the wind...I just have to focus on what makes me happy now
In the long run I do want to go live in Japan again but I have no illusions about the experience being anywhere near the same
College is awesome. I have just as much nostalgia about the year I attended Community College as I did High School. Also don't worry about the age thing. I attended when I was 18 and nobody mentioned their age. I found out two of the four people I hung out with on a regular basis were over 30. It was an enlightening experience and it put the whole "age thing" into perspective for me.
Too much nostalgia is a sign of lack of intriguing goals. Get excited about college! Once that is over you'll wonder how you thought you'd never experience something that great again.
My point is.. college is fucking sweet.