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Little boxes, on the hillside...
Charles Kinbote
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Yeah it's that awesome show on showtime about a suburban mom who becomes a drug kingpin to support her family. It's totally awesome and pretty dark and is pretty damn good.
It is a show that is made of characters so I'll just go over some of my favorites and the biggies -
"Conrad Shepard: You calling black people stupid?
Nancy Botwin: And lazy... and they also steal.
Heylia James: Yeah, but we sings and we dances real good. "
The lady herself, Nancy Botwin took up dealing when her husband dropped dead while running. She kinda goes back and forth between a totally pitiable and sad character and a bitchy slut, but she's snarky enough that she can pull it off. Things have gone to shit for her since the show started, but she's doin' alright for herself. After the first season, she started playing defensively - more reaction than action, if you catch my drift, but the end of the third season seems to have changed that around.
"It's a weed wonderland, Nancy. It's like Amsterdam only you don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and shit. "
My favorite character, Doug is a bit of a player with his hands in many pies. He usually acts the lovable drug-seeking buffoon, but he actually knows his way around the town and can socially maneuver through almost any situation. He's also pretty much the funniest character on the show.
"Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So let's start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed. "
Nancy's brother-in-law, Andy is the resident playa/fuck-up of the show. He is always a bit of a goofball, and while he isn't the most responsible dude, he never fucks up on the grand levels that the other characters do. Also, he was in the army.
"Serious shit calls for serious cash and your cash got a sense of humor."
The sassy black middleman of the drug world, Heylia Jones is just generally awesome. She used to be Nancy's supplier, but when Nancy went behind her back to start growing, their friendship of convenience fell apart a bit. She and Conrad became guest stars in this new season, which is a goddamn shame, but hey, whatever.
"Maggie: Celia, you can’t smoke in here.
Celia: Because…?
Big Fun PTA Mom: Second hand smoke kills.
Maggie: Celia, did you bring your muffins?
Celia: I didn’t feel like baking.
Maggie: None of us ever feels like baking.
Pam: I love baking.
Maggie: Except Pam. But, we do it anyway, for the sake of our children.
Celia: Oh, give me a break. You’re raising money for a swim team. How much do swimming trunks cost anyway?
Pam: 18.95.
Celia: I’ll tell you what, (hands Pam a 20) keep the change.
Maggie: So, we’re really not getting the muffins, are we?
Celia: (Gets up to leave) I have in my hands the last pharmaceutical Quaalude on earth. See ya ladies."
The show's suburban ice queen, Celia, I think, has the most depth of any of the characters. She is constantly cold and dismissive of other characters, but has broken down a few times as fortune keeps fucking her. She is forced to care for a wheelchair-ridden, cheating husband that she no longer loves and a daughter who despises her, and is constantly and subtly trying to make Nancy her friend. That is the subtext across three seasons, though - most of the them, she's a social-climbing, power-grabbing bitch who doesn't give a shit about other people. Also, she likes vodka a lot.
So, anyone else seen this show?
Charles Kinbote on
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that is to say i seen it
i haven't seen the new season but I am to understand that there is some concern about it being able to keep it up with nancy relocated and all
Pretty much this exact same thing.
When she buys a second house to start growing and starts fucking the DEA or whatever, I stopped watching.
From what I understand the third will only continue this trend.
edit: also Silas is a bitchy little bitch boy.
uh, we're on the 4th season now
see exactly
my girlfriend doesn't think she's hot but man I would dap that
Hence why she's an ex.
she reminds me of Lauren Graham aka Lorelai Gilmore. That is a good thing.
they require banging
mary-kate was pretty damn bangable in this too
I am kinda bummed that they seem to have abandoned the theme song, though
hearing the decemberists, the shins, regina spektor, death cab, etc was pretty cool
i was googling this show and i found this
Also, seasons 2/3 were pretty ridiculous, but I like how everything just kinda went in the shitter. Needless to say, I like the show a lot. Yeah, it was far-fetched, but it was still enjoyable for me.
It did get a bit better but still not the greatest... I'm a bit apprehensive about the new season and hope it doesn't take itself so seriously this time around.
Don't particularly feel the urge to go back to it
And the theme song kinda bugged me
oh well
Now it's pretty much the opposite.
just about done the third season and silas has gotten better, andy is pretty consistently funny, and doug is less the helplessly inept 40 year old stoner and became more capable and hilarious.
nancy is just kinda a hoe.
Despite all the darkness it's still made me laugh pretty hard at times, and worth watching despite a sometimes terrible main character.
I would place clamps on it to show her how much I love her.
I doubt anyone is surprised.
xbl gamertag: sublunary
She had brought cupcakes, and Sullivan was worth something to her. He was just a fuck for Nancy.
I like the fucking Tudors though, what's with that
Optimal. Kill. Zone.