Meeting a girl online.. with a twist

ben0207

God I can't believe what I'm about to type. My apologies in advance if this gives you horrible mental imagery...

Basically my GF and me have reached the point where we want to try a threesome

I'M NOT ASKING ANY OF YOU GUYS, KEEP READING*

but we have no idea where to start looking for such a person. It's not exactly like hiring an office temp. So, fine denizens of HA, what say you? Internet? Local paper? Handing out flyers at the mall?




(FWIW: We live in NE Germany (Greifswald in Meckleburg-Vorpommen) and we don't really want to travel far. Oh, and they have to be discrete as fuck because my GF has a very sensitive position at the uni and this could be damaging, politically)

PirateJon

You couldn't handle me. :P


Anyway, what's German for "craigslist"?

MayGodHaveMercy

Kriegslist?

W2

I'd report that for awesome, but I'm not sure that I can.

Nice.

Rear Admiral Choco

If you have any mutual friends who would be interested, that's how my girlfriend and I got it going.

I don't know if that would be too indiscreet, or result in awkwardness, but we're still doing pretty well for ourselves.

ben0207

MayGodHaveMercy wrote: »

Kriegslist?

H5

The DE craigslist has, like, fuck all ads on it, and most are along the lines of "creepy guy seeks very specific fetish with a model". But I'm scraping through it now.

Bedlam

YOu could always try adult friend finder or one of those sites but you'll need a membership.

You could also try regular free dating sites like plentyoffish or okcupid and put exactly what you are looking for.

I think the best way would be to find a friend though and invite them over for drinks. And see if anything happens from there.

ceres

This is really not something you want to enter into lightly, because it can have a lot of implications for the future of your relationship. I'm sure you two are already over all that, but I would still feel remiss if I didn't mention it.

Under the circumstances, I would almost say it might be better to start with friends. See if there's anyone you know who might be interested in that sort of thing. Because it's really not like hiring a temp, and you don't need them to screen for drugs, you need them to screen for STDs. As a.. uh.. beginner it might be easiest to go with someone you know, if you both know someone you can be that intimate with.

Are you looking for a one-off to try this, or someone who will be a permanent.. er.. fixture?

ben0207

Just a one off, unless it's really fantastic. We've already considered our friends, and other than importing a certain friend from the UK we don't think there's anybody who would do it, and even if they would we think it would be super-awkward afterward.

Gonmun

I have to concur with the others who have suggested this, you might want to look at a friend if you think there may be someone that would be into that. Definitely there's a lot of things to consider like STD's as well. No matter what you would probably want to get tested and have the interested party prove that they have been as well.

Aside from that I guess you could do a little research as well on possible bars, etc. that might be somewhere you could go. Mind you you might want to look outside of your normal area since you are wanting to be discreet about things.

I have to concur with ceres as well though, make sure both you and your SO are on the same page with things and maybe set some ground rules.

Edit:

Sorry, was typing when you posted the thing about your friend.

Well, dating sites like plenty of fish and adult friend finder would probably work. Not sure if there's anything specific to just Germany but most of those sites have options for searching in specified countries and postal codes and the like so you might be able to narrow things down a bit. Good luck though.

MegaMan Addict

I've seen ads on LavaLife for this kind of, ah, "recruiting".

If you are going to go with internet hook-up sites, then do me and ever other single guy on those sites a favor: use a picture that contains both you and your girlfriend in it.

I cannot count the number of times I have entered in my search parameters, seen a picture of a good-looking girl, clicked to get the profile only to be greeted by the words "WE ARE A COUPLE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER WOMAN - MEN NEED NOT APPLY".

Now, I don't really care that a couple wants a threesome. That's great. But I don't really think that it's fair to the "applicants" that this couple is only showing the female half.

PirateJon

ben0207 wrote: »

Just a one off, unless it's really fantastic. We've already considered our friends, and other than importing a certain friend from the UK we don't think there's anybody who would do it, and even if they would we think it would be super-awkward afterward.

The upside being you already know them.

The downside to dating sites is that you (and many others) are attempting to find a near-mythical person - sane, attractive, bi, open for NSA fun with a couple. Guy or girl that's not a common mindset.


Have you considered professional assistance? Travel wishes aside, it's perfectly legal in nevada, and you'd never have to worry about bumping into them at your uni library.

TaGuelle

Ich würde euch vorschlagen nach Berlin zu fahren und in ein fetischklub zu gehen. zb gibt es "Kitkat Club" in berlin wo alles geht.

Lepton

PirateJon wrote: »

ben0207 wrote: »

Just a one off, unless it's really fantastic. We've already considered our friends, and other than importing a certain friend from the UK we don't think there's anybody who would do it, and even if they would we think it would be super-awkward afterward.

The upside being you already know them.

The downside to dating sites is that you (and many others) are attempting to find a near-mythical person - sane, attractive, bi, open for NSA fun with a couple. Guy or girl that's not a common mindset.


Have you considered professional assistance? Travel wishes aside, it's perfectly legal in nevada, and you'd never have to worry about bumping into them at your uni library.

Hamburg has a vibrant prostitution industry as well (and it's accesible by train).

Trowizilla

You're looking for the unicorn, and honestly, you're going to have a hard time. Hot, sane, disease-free bi women are generally either pretty happily in relationships or already enjoying lots of NSA sex with their own social circles.

Are you absolutely sex on a threesome? In most places, it's actually a lot easier to set up a foursome (two couples) or full swap. If you can deal with another guy being involved (perhaps you and he could just watch the women going at it if you're scared of Teh Cock), try for that.

Houk the Namebringer

Trowizilla wrote: »

You're looking for the unicorn, and honestly, you're going to have a hard time. Hot, sane, disease-free bi women are generally either pretty happily in relationships or already enjoying lots of NSA sex with their own social circles.

This. I've known a few girls who were "mainly" straight but liked to try new things, but they always went with friends and people they could trust. I honestly wish you good luck.

AresProphet

Trowizilla wrote: »

Are you absolutely sex on a threesome?

I honestly thought I misread this.

ben0207

Trowizilla wrote: »

You're looking for the unicorn, and honestly, you're going to have a hard time. Hot, sane, disease-free bi women are generally either pretty happily in relationships or already enjoying lots of NSA sex with their own social circles.

Are you absolutely sex on a threesome? In most places, it's actually a lot easier to set up a foursome (two couples) or full swap. If you can deal with another guy being involved (perhaps you and he could just watch the women going at it if you're scared of Teh Cock), try for that.

Another couple would probably be okay I guess. But yeh, I guess we set our sights quite high to begin with.

And we're both bi, so neither of us is "scared" of anything

Rook

Whilst I wouldn't know for sure, There must be some sort of fetish scene/alt night club etc that you could just hang there, get to know people and see what you think.