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Terrible coworker thread / WaM & Keith are faggots for tea... faggots

nevilleneville The Worst Gay(Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
edited July 2008 in Social Entropy++
So everyone has one of those coworkers.
Weird... odd... doesn't shower often (ever?) enough.
Stories about those are great.

But some of us have been blessed with the next tier of coworker.
Yes... the type of coworker that you can say nothing in response to, except to back up slowly and pray your ass hits an emergency exit before he/she can catch up to you.


My story:
When I worked at a well-known Seattle media company a few years ago, people hated their jobs. So drinking was a common activity that most of us partook in. One particular day, we were having a farewell party for a coworker who was quitting and he comes up to me and says "I love you man!"
d'aww.

I told him "I love you too"

And then there's the 2 second pause before he says "No. I really love you."
My stammered response included "Uhhh, I think I... need to.... go..." and something about how he should love his wife and 2 kids and not some dude he was drinking with at work.

Every time this guy drinks, to this day in fact, he goes from straight to supergay in 4 drinks or less.


So tell us your tales of shock and horror.
(Auntie Shibbie tales :arrow:)

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neville on
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Posts

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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    THREAD HIJACK

    It is not about Tea

    450px-Tea-224-nevit.jpg

    I had the most delicious tea the other day (Roibos Chai with other stuff) and it was so good and I would spend so much money on tea if it wasn't expensive to get started

    what's your favorite flavor of tea

    Garlic Bread on
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    WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I worked with a guy who was expelled for bringing a loaded gun to school to resolve a fight that hadn't gone his way. After this happened I decided I would never disagree with him again.

    Wiley on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I'll fucking kill you Keith

    neville on
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    [ink][ink] Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    i don't have a job

    [ink] on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited July 2008
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    christopher

    neville on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited July 2008
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I had a co-worker up until last week that would clap at the smallest instigation during meetings, and would prompt me for a high five when passing in the hallway.

    I honestly think she wasn't all there.

    Centipede Damascus on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I had a co-worker up until last week that would clap at the smallest instigation during meetings, and would prompt me for a high five when passing in the hallway.

    I honestly think she wasn't all there.

    wow, that's ... something.

    neville on
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    mullymully Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    really, neville

    really

    do you WANT to open this can of worms from me
    BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST
    ahahahahah

    i should type up an essay

    mully on
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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    mully please type essay post-haste

    Orikaeshigitae on
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    FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I love tea!

    earl-grey.gif

    EARL GREY RULES!!!

    Fallout on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    do it mully

    BRING IT

    neville on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited July 2008
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    mullymully Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    i dont know if i can actually formulate it into an essay
    i don't know where to start
    i'm over excited to share everything i possibly can with you

    mully on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    I just noticed that they have tea bags out for free at work

    i drink like three cups of tea a day now. no sugar or cream, which is unusual for me

    Garlic Bread on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    Koshian wrote: »
    rooibos isn't tea at all!

    it's rooibos chai

    Garlic Bread on
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    FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    we just got a big box of lipton or whatever iced tea

    but i'm like, too cool or good, to drink cheap american tea, you know?

    Fallout on
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    This girl I worked with a while back once invited one of the other girls who worked there to join in on a 3 way with her boyfriend.

    She also wanted to fuck me, apparently, which I found out after she got fired.

    She also saw me buy cigarettes one day and thought that "this place" had "changed" me.

    She was dumb as a fencepost, engaged to a guy who had declared bankruptcy at the age of 20, and was convinced of the existence of ghosts.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    This girl I worked with a while back once invited one of the other girls who worked there to join in on a 3 way with her boyfriend.

    She also wanted to fuck me, apparently, which I found out after she got fired.

    She also saw me buy cigarettes one day and thought that "this place" had "changed" me.

    She was dumb as a fencepost, engaged to a guy who had declared bankruptcy at the age of 20, and was convinced of the existence of ghosts.

    so did you fuck her or what

    Fallout on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Mully post that comic about your coworker

    Also I think I'm that coworker.

    #pipe on
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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I work with this guy who's in his 30s, and he won't stop trying to flirt with all the teenage hostesses/waitresses, and the bar girls, and the female managers, etc

    he's also a self-centered, incompetent dick.

    The issue is that his physical development was stunted or something. I'm not a doctor. All I know is that he's just shy of five feet tall and could pass for a slightly malformed Keebler elf

    Dichotomy on
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    World as MythWorld as Myth a breezy way to annoy serious people Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    oh man a tea thread?!? I love tea!

    best tea on earth:

    serndipburr.gif

    World as Myth on
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    OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited July 2008
    send me some wam i will pay shipping

    Orikaeshigitae on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited July 2008
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    oh man a tea thread?!? I love tea!

    best tea on earth:

    serndipburr.gif

    is it leaves?

    it's probably leaves

    i want to buy the equipment for that but dang it's expensive (for me)

    Garlic Bread on
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    WileyWiley In the dirt.Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Seems in Oklahoma they pretty much insist on only drinking Iced Sweet Tea. My professors all considered us heathens.

    Wiley on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Quit it Kate! >:(

    neville on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I don't really care for hot drinks

    except hot chocolate, and only like twice a year.

    #pipe on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    but seriously, this tea was amazing

    the girl was like "would you like to try a sample? it's a chai with a very nutty flavor blah blah blah" and i'm thinking "man i'm not a fan of chais or nuts" but decided it was free so i should

    and right away i was like "this is delicious" and bought a cup

    it was so good

    Garlic Bread on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    #pipe

    I am going to make a set cheesecake just for you for PAX
    Only because you are just that rad.
    what kind do you want?

    Also if you do not say you love it a lot, I will kill you and mail you back to Australia in pieces.
    <3

    neville on
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    mullymully Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    THIS WOMAN:

    - is 56+
    - got her belly button pierced 2 years ago and made it a point to show me
    - is an administrative assistant
    - asks brokers etc about their love lives and will tell the same story about her kittens and whatnot OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER
    - is over 16k in debt with a CC but continues to shop like she's a freaking Hilton
    - got mad at me because it seemed like I was allergic to one of her perfumes
    - didn't know what I meant when I referred to a "cell" in excel
    - took credit for large modifications that i'd made in spreadsheets
    - told me that i typed too much
    - told another mail trolley girl, a long time ago when i was specifically her assistant, that she wished SHE (trolley girl) could be her assistant instead because she was into make up and fashion. (trolley girl was a friend of mine and told me this.
    - repeats herself at least 5 times per sentence, i kid you not
    - says such lovely phrases as "YKNOW?" and won't stop talking until you respond
    - refers to asians as "orientals" and to black people simply as "the blacks"
    - wears jewelry made for teenage girls that is over 125 dollars but features HELLO KITTY which, yes, she wears in the office
    - constantly tells me about her thyroid, her neck, her back, her bunions, etc, and has told our boss etc that she can not lift even 3" binders due to these things -- whereas she is constantly buying bottles and bottles of wine and carrying that around
    - dyes her hair bright fire engine red like 3 times a month and complains that the colour won't stay
    - has no eyebrows, nor lips seemingly, and thus paints them in. her make up must take 30 minutes every day, at the least.
    - long fake acrylic nails that have grown out so you can see actual cuticle, which i hear CLAKCLAKing on the keyboard all day
    - talks on the phone to her boyfriend constantly, slurps soup loudly
    - will not go on the internet because she is afraid of it
    - also because she DOESN'T KNOW HOW
    - has asked me if outlook could open MB files -- the file was picture.jpg (4mb). she complained that there were 4 of these MB files and none of them were opening no matter how much she clicked.
    - told me that she refused to use the recycling bin next to her garbage can for paper because it was TOO HARD
    - files things like A.W.X. Inc. after Awwtle Inc. - THAT IS SO WRONG. AUGH.
    - has like fifteen lulu lemon jackets
    - always regales me with the fact that "MY JOB IS SO HARD" and "YOU DONT WANT THIS JOB" and "ITS SO STRESSFUL YOU COULDNT HANDLE IT" -- she seems to not remember that i did it for 3 weeks WHILE keeping up with my own job

    will post more later
    there is so much more

    mully on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    mully please stay on topic

    Garlic Bread on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    neville wrote: »
    #pipe

    I am going to make a set cheesecake just for you for PAX
    Only because you are just that rad.
    what kind do you want?

    Also if you do not say you love it a lot, I will kill you and mail you back to Australia in pieces.
    <3

    Oh my god
    you are the best!

    I like them with strawberries or just plain with a little lemon or lime mixed in.

    I will bring you a little something from here because I like you.

    #pipe on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    #pipe wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    #pipe

    I am going to make a set cheesecake just for you for PAX
    Only because you are just that rad.
    what kind do you want?

    Also if you do not say you love it a lot, I will kill you and mail you back to Australia in pieces.
    <3

    Oh my god
    you are the best!

    I like them with strawberries or just plain with a little lemon or lime mixed in.

    I will bring you a little something from here because I like you.

    you better get me something or else i'ma eat your cheesecake

    Garlic Bread on
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    Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited July 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    oh man a tea thread?!? I love tea!

    best tea on earth:

    serndipburr.gif

    is it leaves?

    it's probably leaves

    i want to buy the equipment for that but dang it's expensive (for me)

    looking it up, it seems to have coconut

    gross

    or is it that tea you and nap got at that place? that was all right, but i dunno if i could drink much of it

    Garlic Bread on
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    Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2008
    Other than the manager who was bipolar, and the other one who I'm pretty sure was smoking something besides cigarettes on her break, I didn't have too many bad coworkers
    Shit, at the kitchen, my supervisor was going to get me a raise, if I hadn't gotten fired
    I had only worked there for a month and he wanted to get me some extra money because he liked what I did

    Me Too! on
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    RinderRinder Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    I work with two gay guys.
    Umm...they both are pretty cool and I really have nothing bad to say about them.
    One of them, however, loves to talk about his little dog. Like A LOT.
    Luckily all the crappy people I worked with were fired.

    Rinder on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited July 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    #pipe

    I am going to make a set cheesecake just for you for PAX
    Only because you are just that rad.
    what kind do you want?

    Also if you do not say you love it a lot, I will kill you and mail you back to Australia in pieces.
    <3

    Oh my god
    you are the best!

    I like them with strawberries or just plain with a little lemon or lime mixed in.

    I will bring you a little something from here because I like you.

    you better get me something or else i'ma eat your cheesecake

    maggiejr1.png

    #pipe on
  • Options
    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited July 2008
    #pipe wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    #pipe

    I am going to make a set cheesecake just for you for PAX
    Only because you are just that rad.
    what kind do you want?

    Also if you do not say you love it a lot, I will kill you and mail you back to Australia in pieces.
    <3

    Oh my god
    you are the best!

    I like them with strawberries or just plain with a little lemon or lime mixed in.

    I will bring you a little something from here because I like you.

    Got it, sir.
    And ignore Keiths. His threats, like he himself, are tiny and inconsequential.

    :3

    neville on
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