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So guys, this thing happened
MHYoshimitzu
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
http://www.stopabductions.com/
My friend linked me to this site early this morning.
As I am a man of a good laugh, I paged through it and found that there are a number of people who regularly wear these helmets. I also read about the aliens who abducted them, and how they have telepathic powers and would stop you from wearing the helmet if they get a chance. They also have the ability to paralyze you and make you do things you don't want you to do.
I was a little more interested in the alien abduction stories. The aliens supposedly abduct humans to teach alien children and alien children human hybrids (???) about Earth so that they may one day integrate into society.
And there's all sorts of interviews on the site from a professor from my university who apparently has a degree in studying UFOs. I thought I was going to a good school. Go figure.
Anyway, I was lying on my bed and about to go to sleep when I think, "Hey, that'd be kinda neat, teaching alien kids about Earth."
And then I heard a voice in my head say, "All right, get him." This wasn't the normal, cool voice that tells me to play with fire or to sock that fat, bitchy lady in the face at the department store. This was a voice that existed, separate from my own thoughts, which briefly broke into my comfort zone and made me wonder where it came from.
As I got up to look around the room, to see if anyone was there, I found that I, in fact, could not move. At all. I was lying face down and couldn't move a muscle, not even the eyes in my head. It was a very weird feeling, to have muscles and not be able to move them.
"All right, I change my mind." I said this in my head, but was still paralyzed. I struggled very hard to move, and after 30 seconds, I managed to move my right leg around and was able to regain muscle movement again.
Ha ha ha, silly aliens. You won't be harvesting my sperm.
ITT: Weird/creepy things that have happened to you that you can't easily explain away
tl;dr: Aliens tried to abduct me after I read a website but I was just too awesome for them
My friend linked me to this site early this morning.
As I am a man of a good laugh, I paged through it and found that there are a number of people who regularly wear these helmets. I also read about the aliens who abducted them, and how they have telepathic powers and would stop you from wearing the helmet if they get a chance. They also have the ability to paralyze you and make you do things you don't want you to do.
I was a little more interested in the alien abduction stories. The aliens supposedly abduct humans to teach alien children and alien children human hybrids (???) about Earth so that they may one day integrate into society.
And there's all sorts of interviews on the site from a professor from my university who apparently has a degree in studying UFOs. I thought I was going to a good school. Go figure.
Anyway, I was lying on my bed and about to go to sleep when I think, "Hey, that'd be kinda neat, teaching alien kids about Earth."
And then I heard a voice in my head say, "All right, get him." This wasn't the normal, cool voice that tells me to play with fire or to sock that fat, bitchy lady in the face at the department store. This was a voice that existed, separate from my own thoughts, which briefly broke into my comfort zone and made me wonder where it came from.
As I got up to look around the room, to see if anyone was there, I found that I, in fact, could not move. At all. I was lying face down and couldn't move a muscle, not even the eyes in my head. It was a very weird feeling, to have muscles and not be able to move them.
"All right, I change my mind." I said this in my head, but was still paralyzed. I struggled very hard to move, and after 30 seconds, I managed to move my right leg around and was able to regain muscle movement again.
Ha ha ha, silly aliens. You won't be harvesting my sperm.
ITT: Weird/creepy things that have happened to you that you can't easily explain away
tl;dr: Aliens tried to abduct me after I read a website but I was just too awesome for them
MHYoshimitzu on
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The image on the bottom left, look at the name of it!
oh my god
i understand now
i have to go down to the mall with an assault rifle
and begin the cleansing
But some of the stories on that website are nuts.
and other things i don't care about
sleep paralysis?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gWqI0U3pBdA
It was aliens, didn't you read?
Yeah but she would gut you like a fish.
Is your avatar a cutesy version of a Ronin Warrior by any chance? Is that a little Sage of the Halo?
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Only if you're an alien or are friends with aliens
If they can't read your thoughts from space, they can't use their thought-locator Firefox plugin for Google Maps to be able to find you.
I was thinking that as well. She may be a bit crazy but I think you could work around it.
Steam
Yeah, whatever you want to call it.
I do like the idea of aliens abducting people based on how willing they are to teach their mutant babies, though.
hooray!
se just got more enjoyable to read
Work with it.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
big dog to mothership do you read me
the website is a success
the humans are buying our thought conductors thinking they will prevent the very thing they are engineered to do
big dog, over
I'm pretty sure that to her, everyone is an alien.
No, leave the helmet on
Not if I'm wearing my knife blocking gut helmet made with directions from stopguttings.com
GET OFF OF MY CHEST WITCH :<
and that the government was watching him
he was a big fan of the x-files, like scary big. he thought that chris cooper was actually trying to tell people the truth about the world through fiction and that "parts of the stories are real, but he changes the details so the Watchers don't know what he's saying"
the Watchers are what he called the aliens and their agents.
so the one day, me and a couple dudes decide he's so stupid and such a dork we're gonna show him how dumb this is
so we collude together to give him the impression that one of the kids in our class was a Watcher and that me, i was from a friendly alien race here to help him.
we had him going for like, weeks. hushed conversations behind the portables during recess, secret files. we even broke into the one guy's house who was in on it and found "secret files" in his desk and on his computer that he had left there for us to find.
then, after like a month, we told the guy a truth. it was a giant gag and he needs to grow up and stop watching so much x-files and seriously dude, this is retarded
he had a total freak-out, not the reaction we expected at all
then we didn't see him in school for the next week, and found out from a kid who lived two doors down from him that his parents took him to a psych and apparently he has paranoid schizophrenia
whoooooooooooooooops
Ooh baby, I love the way you roll up little balls of tinfoil with your fingers while muttering to yourself in a breathy voice.
That's very kind of you. But I'm actually about to leave again for I must go shower and then go to work.
I thought I was going to suffocate last time I got it
Oooh...Ooooh and I bet it's EVEN better if you wear a helmet too.
Baby, let me probe you in ways the aliens never thought of...or maybe they did :winky:
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
The idea that a university right in the middle of a bad part of Philly has a professor who deals with UFOs is too convenient for me. When I regularly see schizophrenic people walking down the street screaming at pedestrians, and then I see that this guy teaches a credited class on UFOs, I can't help but imagine it's like Christmas every day of the year for him.
nigth terrors sure are a thing
chris carter