New B-Ball Comics [Updated Dec. 1]

VladieShark

Haven't posted here for a while, so I thought I'd share a few of the newer comics my bro and I have put together for www.slamdumb.com since however many months ago (...and yes, these are all based on real NBA players and situations, so, if you don't follow sports, you probably won't get a chunk of the humor. Hopefully, you can still get a chuckle out of some of these though):

Title: Why It Sucks to be an Idiot


Title: A Simple Man


Title: Raiders of the MVP


Title: Magic and Trickery


Title: Off-Season Adjustments



If you like these, you can check out more at www.slamdumb.com.

earthwormadam

The KG one is genuinely funny. The Kobe one is kinda funny, but the rest either fall flat or have too much text. It shouldn't take that many words to convey a good joke.

kerblo

I really like your comic. Upon reading it I realized that I don't see too many sports based comics.

The art is at a good level. Not great but good enough for me to tell who everyone is. And you didn't go crazy on photoshop effects. Those only take away from the dialogue.

The jokes are simple but funny. I can't find any bias in them towards or against a particular team.

Erik the Hack

I'm a huge sports fan, so I'm definitely your target audience. 8-) I'd rate both the art and writing as average; it's what I would categorize as a typical web comic.

The good: The facial expressions are pretty well done and they support the humor well. You do a good job of drawing those celebrity faces. The jokes are well thought out and well executed.

The needs-improvement: You need to work on the basic human form and drawing basics in general. You have some issues with shape, proportion and perspective. Also, your backgrounds seem sloppy and lazy to me. While the jokes are well executed, there's no zing. I understood all of the humor, but it didn't make me laugh. You need to improve on your execution and find more interesting ways to tell the joke.

All JMO, of course. Practice makes perfect!

Shiboe

I remember you from last time. Glad to see your visuals have much improved since. The scenes are a lot more interesting and give much better depth. Still some work to be done IMO on getting natural confident lines and some variation couldn't hurt. I'd say try and avoid the effects as well, some of the blurs especially detract from the images. The poses are still a bit stiff as well, but your doing pretty good at getting faces to resemble their likenesses. Keep it up!

VladieShark

Hey. Thanks a lot for the input guys. Glad to be getting some approval. Here's a new one about Kwame Brown (one of the NBA's crappiest players) joining his new team, the Detroit Pistons:

Title: Are You Serious?

Kunkoh

unfortunate finger nose placement in last panel is unfortunate.

Nappuccino

Over all, I like the jokes. I'm not a basketball fan but I still found my self chuckling at the punchlines. However, like someone else mentioned, it takes a very long time to get to the puchline at times. I think your scripts could use some tightening up to increase the ease of reading and accessibility of your comic.

The art isn't terrible and for the most part, its much better than 90% of webcomics. You would definately do yourself a favor by varying the line widths. This tutorial is really informative and if you use some of its tips, i think the depth of your comic and form of your figures could benifit a lot. Also, just in general: use references for what you can and strive to replicate the anatomy as well as you can. It's just something that, with practice will improve and since you're constantly drawing muscle groups, it wouldn't hurt for them to always look nice. Many times what you have is fine, but every so often, its jarring when it isn't (the super dude one)

VladieShark

Just wanted to get some feedback on a new one about fantasy basketball...



Also, if you check out the site and want to comment on another one of the newer comics, that would be great too.

Ollie

I think a lot of gamer non-sports fans are going to appreciate that last one. I do.

Muse

I enjoyed that last one
Commentwise I would say that the length of the shoulders in a lot of your figures are hella long and it would be nice to see you put some shading in them to at least convey form

earthwormadam

The backgrounds and textures are not visually appealing.

VladieShark

Muse wrote: »

I enjoyed that last one
Commentwise I would say that the length of the shoulders in a lot of your figures are hella long and it would be nice to see you put some shading in them to at least convey form

Nice screen-name (one of my favorite bands). 8-)